Meeting up with a college friend, they chattered on about their recent job interviews and waiting for results from other companies. They talked about how A., a classmate from college, is now incredibly wealthy, running a law firm with a monthly income of tens of billions. They also mentioned B., who's equally successful, with his own company having a good reputation in the market. They talked about how this person works for a large corporation, that girl recently married a rich man, and another girl just bought a house – and concluded that everyone in their class was brilliant.
At first glance, it's disheartening to see my income and the mess I'm facing. I'm in the same class as them, yet they're already at the top while I'm still lagging behind. Am I choosing the wrong path in life?
While I was lost in thought, my phone buzzed with a text message from another college friend. She said her father had just passed away, and she was feeling terrible because she hadn't spent enough time with her family, and now it was too late. Suddenly, I remembered passing by a hospital the other day and seeing a friend taking her child for a check-up. My friend was wearing a full suit, looking frantic, probably just finished meeting with a client or going to court. I asked where his wife was, and he said she was busy with a project, so he was the only one left to take care of everything for the children.
I asked how she knew about everyone's situation. "It's all on social media; nowadays everyone shows off everything there," she replied. Ah, so it's all there, where everyone competes to show how happy they are.
Scrolling through social media, you see Ms. A checking in at a fancy café, next to her expensive designer bag; Ms. B complaining about traffic jams while driving her newly purchased luxury car to work; Mr. C posting photos of himself working on a 5-star resort beach; Ms. D busy working on a project for her multinational company; and Ms. E showing off her latest bikini photos, showcasing her youthful and vibrant physique. Everyone seems busy and has this and that… and surely many people who see this will look back and compare themselves to them, feeling inferior and thinking about how to get photos like that to post on their social media pages. And so the race begins, escalating every day because the more you compete, the more you have to prove your happiness through wealth, possessions, and busyness.
But how many people know the truth behind that competition? Ms. A is in credit card debt and unable to pay it off with her current income; Ms. B borrowed from the bank to buy a luxury car; Mr. C reposted old travel photos from 3 years ago; Ms. D is being harassed by her boss and forced to do too much work; and the younger sister showed off bikini photos that had been photoshopped to look glamorous.
No one knows these things; they only see the surface of the problem and think happiness is easy, then they compare themselves to others, blame themselves for being terrible. Others feel pressured and try every way to "rise up" to be like others on social media, forgetting about their real lives. This is a new type of pressure that has emerged alongside the "traditional" pressures in life.
Once, a friend asked her husband to come home early to pick up their child, then hurriedly said goodbye to me to make it to an afternoon tea date with her "fancy" group of friends. "It's been a while since I posted a picture, that place is beautiful," she said before leaving. A few minutes later, I saw her post a gorgeous picture of tea and pastries, and she said the pastries were delicious. I messaged her asking if the tea and pastries were really that good, and she replied, "Terrible, just sugar." I was a little disappointed, but it helped me realize that in this day and age, you have to consider even the pressures you face before adding them to your list of stressors, otherwise you'll inadvertently join the "happiness contests" on social media.
Article by: Ngo Tu Ngan
Illustration photo: TL
