I picked up my little girl from her friend's house after her friend's birthday. Her mother took her to the car and chatted with her for a while. On the way home, she told me that the uncle had asked her very carefully about her family today. I knew that my daughter would say whatever she thought, and I also believed that I knew what she was thinking. I understood even more why the mother of the other boy asked so many questions, when at her friend's birthday party, the only girl was my daughter, the rest were boys. All mothers are careful like that, including me.
Is it true that modern life today makes us more insecure, and more skeptical? When I was a child, I was about your age now, in middle school, I went to school in the morning and came home at noon, and in the afternoon I either went to the fields or the forest. Some of my friends lived on the other side of the river and had to walk across to this side just to buy salt for their mother. Then we got to know each other and became close friends. Every time we met, we chatted for hours and couldn't go home. There was a child who lived on the other side of the mountain. To get to this side, he had to walk for an hour and a half, climb to the top of the mountain and then climb down, cross the fields, cross the stream to meet each other. He didn't even know his parents' names, let alone what his father did or what his mother did. Of course, most of them were farmers. Why didn't my parents and your parents feel insecure? Why didn't they take the trouble to find out what the other family was like?
We must and must raise our children in the mindset of a guardian. And family discipline becomes especially important, the attachment of individuals in each family also speaks to the way fathers and mothers educate. Not to mention, according to sociologists, the divorce rate is increasing day by day. The number of single fathers and mothers is increasing, which means the number of children growing up without the care of either father or mother is increasing. There are many reasons for the breakdown of marriages, but the biggest reason, as I imagine, as I compare with the generation of my parents and grandparents, is because each person cannot dim their own light so that both can shine.
My parents are both in their 90s and have been together for over 60 years. Although they have had their share of conflicts, we have never once heard them “threaten” to divorce. Do they have conflicts? Yes. Are they capable of living independently? Yes. Are they confident? Yes. But what they have that we lack is “forbearance is worth it.”
Family is not simply addition, then subtraction when you don’t want to add anymore. Family is the effort of unity of all members, including parents and children. I asked my daughter: Do you feel sad that you only have your mother by your side for so many years? My daughter replied softly: No. I feel normal. But I know that no child can truly “feel normal” when growing up in a deficit, no matter how hard the other person tries to make up for it.
Illustration: Document
