Tục cưới của người Khơ mú

(Baonghean) - Tục cưới của mỗi cộng đồng đều có những nét riêng thú vị. Với người Khơ mú ở miền Tây Nghệ An, khi đi hỏi vợ nhất thiết phải có thịt, cá và đặc biệt là thịt sóc; tất cả đều được làm khô trên gác bếp, trước ngày vui hàng tháng trời...

Với người Khơ mú, sau mùa gặt hái là dịp để ăn mừng cơm mới và cũng là mùa cưới. Mùa cưới cứ thế kéo dài cho đến ra tết chuẩn bị phát rãy mới thôi. Sau vụ gặt, lúc bản làng no ấm nhất là lúc khí trời mát dịu, thời điểm tốt để các đôi trẻ xây dựng những tổ ấm mới. Có lẽ vì thế, từ tháng 9, tháng 10 âm lịch cho đến khi ra giêng, về các bản Khơ mú thường gặp nhiều đám cưới hơn cả...

Với bản Pủng Cà Moong (xã Lượng Minh - Tương Dương) nằm bên hồ Thủy điện Bản Vẽ cũng vậy. Từ sau vụ gặt đến Tết Nguyên đán Giáp Ngọ (2014), đã có hàng chục đám cưới được tổ chức. Làng bản cũ của 140 hộ Khơ mú đã chìm dưới lòng hồ. Họ di dời đến nơi ở mới đã 4 cái tết. Cuộc sống tại điểm tái định cư này chưa phải là đã ổn định. Khó khăn vẫn chồng chất, thế nhưng khi tổ chức đám cưới cho những đôi trẻ vẫn được gia đình lo sao cho bằng bản bằng mường.

Người ta cho rằng, người Khơ mú là một trong những cộng đồng xa xưa nhất sinh sống trên mảnh đất miền Tây Nghệ An. Trải qua nhiều biến cố thăng trầm, cộng đồng này còn còn giữ được nhiều nét văn hóa đặc sắc, trong đó có phong tục cưới không thể lẫn với bất cứ một dân tộc nào. Chúng tôi đến bản Pủng Cà Moong, gặp lúc gia đình ông Cụt Văn Liên chuẩn bị tiễn cô con gái út Cụt Thị May về nhà chồng. Niềm vui như được nhân đôi khi đám cưới vào đúng dịp tết cổ truyền. Từ nhiều năm nay, người Khơ mú ở bản Pủng Cà Moong đã ăn Tết Nguyên đán như người miền xuôi và đám cưới cũng đang dần được đổi mới để tránh rườm rà, lãng phí. Nạn tảo hôn đã ít hẳn. Con gái đủ 18 tuổi ông Liên mới cho phép về nhà chồng.

Làm lễ tại một đám cưới người Khơ mú, bản Pủng Cà Moong (Lượng Minh - Tương Dương). t

Over a pot of rice wine on his daughter's wedding day, Mr. Cụt Văn Liên recounted the wedding customs of the Khơ mú people... It's unclear when it started, but in the Khơ mú villages, there's a very unique wedding custom. When a son grows up and takes a liking to a girl from a certain village, he returns home to discuss it with his parents and set a date for the engagement ceremony. Months before the engagement, the groom's family must go down to the stream to fish, go up to the forest to gather resources, and slaughter a pig to make dried meat to store in the kitchen loft. Because meat, stream fish, and dried squirrel meat are indispensable gifts when proposing marriage. Furthermore, like the Thái or Mông people, the family chooses someone from their lineage to act as a "matchmaker" for their son's marriage proposal. The only difference is that the Thái people only have one matchmaker, while the Khơ mú people have two.

In the community, few can explain this rather unusual custom of asking for a wife's hand in marriage. People only know that it is a tradition passed down from their ancestors. During the engagement ceremony, the bride's family would set conditions for the dowry. Even now, many places still maintain the custom of demanding chickens, pigs, and silver ingots as dowry demands. However, in Pủng Cà Moong village, the custom of demanding silver ingots has been abolished, because nowadays a silver ingot is worth nearly 20 million dong and is very difficult to obtain. It must be said that the custom of demanding a dowry has become a burden for many families, especially in communities in the past. Mr. Cụt Văn Liên said that in the past, when he went to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage, his family had to sell their entire herd of cattle to afford a proper wedding. Therefore, when the groom's family came to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage, he no longer demanded a heavy dowry like before. The wedding only included pigs, chickens, wine, and rice to offer to the ancestors, in accordance with custom. Naturally, in both engagement and wedding ceremonies, rice wine and rice wine brewed in a traditional steamer (làu xiêu) are indispensable, usually two jars of rice wine and four bottles of "làu xiêu". During the engagement ceremony, the two families will set the wedding date for the young couple. The date for both the small wedding and the main wedding is usually decided by the groom's family. We also see this custom among the Thai people in Con Cuông, Tương Dương, etc. However, among the Khmu people, the small wedding must have two matchmakers present (compared to only one matchmaker among the Thai people). On the day of the engagement ceremony, the groom's family must also have many relatives present, so the small wedding is often just as grand as the main wedding.

Bring a mattress for the bride when she goes to her husband's home.

According to our observations during visits to Khmu villages in Ky Son district, in many areas such as Muong Ai and Keng Du, wedding customs have been simplified. For example, in Muong Ai commune, the bride's family only asks for a dowry of about 300,000 VND as a formality. This is thanks to years of propaganda efforts by the district's Culture Department. Mr. Moong Van Nhi, Head of the Culture Department of Ky Son district, said: Following Resolution 27 of the Politburo, the District People's Council also issued a resolution on implementing village regulations in funerals and weddings, many outdated customs have been eliminated, and weddings are now held on a single day. The official wedding day is the most anticipated day. On the wedding day, the bride's family usually organizes the most elaborate celebration. All tasks, from slaughtering pigs and chickens to arranging the food and even the dishes, are handled by the groom's family. The Khmu people believe: "When you marry someone's daughter, you must take care of everything yourself." At this point, the bride's family is just like invited guests.

Regarding the wedding procession custom, the Khmu people in Ky Son (Keng Du commune) usually bring the bride home at night. The Khmu wedding procession in Keng Du typically takes place just before dawn. According to their beliefs, this is a peaceful time, usually free from obstacles on the journey to the bride's home and in their lives afterward. Another segment of the community holds the wedding procession during the day. The custom of nighttime wedding processions can also be found in many Thai communities in Con Cuong district.

In the wedding procession, the groom's family usually sends 12 or 16 people. Those chosen to go to the wedding are typically from well-established families, financially comfortable compared to their relatives, and with a certain social standing. This reflects the wish for the newlyweds' family to also become prosperous and peaceful in the future. The number of people in the wedding procession, both on the way to and from the groom's house, must be an even number.

As the wedding procession returns and prepares to enter the house, the groom personally sweeps a small area in front of the house and spreads out two mats. Next to the mats are two basins of water with towels prepared. When the bride's family members are about to step onto the mats, the newlywed couple wash each person's face and hands. At this time, the matchmaker sings the "Asking for the Bride" song, after which the bride's family presents the dowry and wedding gifts to the bride right at the ceremony in the front yard. Only then is the bride escorted to the stilt house. When the feast is served, the bride's family eats first, followed by the invited guests. However, according to our observations in Pủng village, before going to her husband's house, the girl receives gifts and dowry at her parents' home. This custom is also seen among the Thai people in the southwestern districts of Nghe An province. The dowry for highland girls is usually handcrafted pillows and mattresses made by the mountain people, received from their parents and relatives.

About a month after the wedding, the groom's family must hold another ceremony to "show gratitude" to the bride's parents. At this point, all the preparations and rituals of the wedding can be considered complete.

During a business trip to Hat Ta Ven village (Keng Du - Ky Son) a few years ago, we witnessed a rather unusual wedding in this predominantly Khmu community. The bride and groom had been living together and had a child before holding the wedding ceremony. Upon inquiry, we learned that the groom's family was poor and lacked the funds to hold a proper wedding. Therefore, they had to send their son to live with his wife's family until the couple could earn enough money to cover the wedding expenses. This is also a unique aspect of the Khmu wedding customs...

Huu Vi