What is autism, mom?

(Baonghean.vn) -On World Autism Awareness Day April 2, we present an article by a mother.

Mom is not the type of person who complains about her fate, but there is one thing I want you to always remember: the more hateful autism is, the more I love you a million times more...

What is autism, mom?

What is autism? That question is always lurking somewhere, my child, but it has never, never disappeared. The first day I found out about you, this was the scariest question for me, because back then, there wasn't as much information as there is now, it was so vague, I was really panicked, and I didn't know what to do. Understanding it a little more, I also defined it differently. Then over time, you also grew up, autism gradually became a part of our family life, there were advances, there were regressions, there were laughters, and countless tears.

There are many things to be “proud” of it. The United Nations has dedicated a page to it on its website, and it is also one of the few health issues that the organization has dedicated a day to celebrate: April 2, also known as World Autism Awareness Day. It is simply defined as: a type of developmental disability that affects the ability to communicate, socialize, and interact; and has only appeared and been recognized in the world for about 100 years.

Then one day, it was also mentioned in a speech by the US president that it was one of the three most pressing health problems in this country: heart disease, cancer and autism.

On the “macro” level, that’s how it is, but what about on the “micro” level? For me, autism means that I don’t have a peaceful life like other normal children. I can’t speak at the age when my peers can speak and sing. I don’t know how to communicate my wishes, so I feel “blocked”, I’m upset and stressed. I don’t have normal health. I’m a picky eater. I have trouble sleeping, especially during naps (but I’m still luckier than many other children who have never had a good night’s sleep and many other abnormalities).

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You have obsessions that are unlike anyone else's, which even I take a long time to understand. Fears that are groundless, rules that you set for yourself, not like normal. You don't know how to communicate, exchange, but only know how to cry, which in the early days, I couldn't understand and could only cry along. You are attracted to TV commercials, games that are not like children at all, you study, fondle the screws from electric fans or other objects...

And for you, what is autism?

It is trying to love and accept you unconditionally. It is trying not to scold you even when you are naughty, which happens a lot. It is many sleepless nights or sleepless nights in tears. I cried a lot.

many. But then mom also tried to rise up, because mom clearly understood that if mom did not try, you would be at a disadvantage. It was devouring hundreds of pages of documents with the faint hope of finding something applicable to you, because autism in developed countries seemed to have occurred several decades earlier and there were many documents. And the more I read, the more I loved you, because autism is very complicated, very persistent. In the end, mom was more determined, I never faltered, never... There were more sleepless nights thinking about the future. Later, mom and dad would probably pass away first, and you would stay. As for money, dad would take good care of you, but there are many other complicated things in life, will you be able to manage...

There are many friends in the same situation. People whose eyes, even when they are smiling, I still see a hint of sadness. A sadness called “autism”. People who I always feel close to and always live together with warm human affection. I accept this “slowness”.

And when I read that about 70% of autistic people have below average IQ, I still see a chance, because people do not use their brains to their full capacity, so even if you are in that 70%, I will try to help you overcome this barrier, IQ goes hand in hand with training, in this regard, your mother is not so bad! Trying to become a "spokesperson" or "representative and image protector" for you. When you go out into society, you often have many "funny" behaviors, and I have to explain or handle them promptly. There are many people who cannot understand what autism is, but you behave like that, and they will generally ask "what is autism?" and I will have to rack my brain to answer appropriately for that situation.

Now, you have completed almost 4 years of primary school, fulfilling a dream that not long ago I did not dare to think of. Although you are still struggling to study with your friends, and you have tried very hard. And the two words "autism" now also turn to a new page, perhaps not less difficult, but full of hope for the things that the two simple words "integration" bring. I pray that every autistic child like you will also have a school.

There is an old saying “show off the beautiful, hide the ugly”, I also do not know which side my sharing will fall into. Of course, autism is a disability, it is unfortunate, but the future of you and other autistic friends will be much better if everyone in the community understands autism better, and within their ability, everyone will help and support you in particular and people with disabilities in general. It may be just extremely small and easy actions, but you need a lot of things like that. It may be just a smile. It may be just an encouraging look. It may be just ignoring when you accidentally do something that affects them. It may simply be that people understand that autism is a complicated thing and can be any problem that is different from normal.

And now, after many years of living with my child and the word autism, having learned and pondered quite a lot, if anyone asks me what autism is, I might just repeat the dry definition that "autism is a type of developmental disability that mainly affects the ability to communicate, interact and socialize". I also think that autism can be a lot of terrible things, but it would be much better if we looked at all of my child's clumsiness and differences with compassion, understanding and love. Or I just mumble to myself: no matter what autism is, it is still a part of you, and also a part of my life.

Mom is not the type of person who complains about her fate, but there is one thing I want you to always remember: the more hateful autism is, the more I love you a million times more...

Hedgehog's Mother