What can women do to be happy without 'sacrificing' themselves?

Have you ever thought: "Why sacrifice?", "Is sacrificing everything a good thing?", "Does sacrifice bring complete happiness to you and your family?", and "If you don't sacrifice, what will you do?".

Compromise, but not sacrifice.

Remember, love is an equal emotion, a mature decision made by two individuals. Love stems from feelings – initially attraction to appearance and personality, followed by affection for the person after getting to know them. Life experiences, harmony, and passion create love. And when in love, people may feel they can do anything for each other, even sacrifice.

But stop. Although sacrifice might make us feel saintly, perfect, and we tell ourselves that's how we prove our love for him.

Compromise to watch a movie you both enjoy, go on vacation to a place you both like, arrange work schedules to fit both your lives… But never lose your individuality, hobbies, or passions just to… sacrifice to please him.

Talk to find a compromise solution, don't just... sacrifice yourself. (illustrative image)

Let's chat.

Most of us women, especially Vietnamese women, tend to be overthinking, thoughtful, and tactful… So we often try to guess what the other person wants, and willingly “sacrifice” because we think that will please him.

In reality, sometimes there are things he doesn't need you to sacrifice for, or he's unaware that you are sacrificing. So, when you complain that he's insensitive and doesn't understand your sacrifices, he'll be surprised and won't understand why you're angry. And you'll continue yelling, "You're so selfish!"

So let's talk to find a compromise solution, instead of making unilateral sacrifices.

Remember, no one but you is in control of your emotions. Instead of sitting there complaining, "do something" to change your circumstances so that you can be happier.

Break down your own barriers.

This barrier could be living circumstances or economic capabilities, but the biggest barrier lies within our own minds. Ingrained beliefs and traditions make us feel insignificant and incapable of changing society, or that we are simply women destined for a life of obedience and submission to our husbands, that women must sacrifice themselves, and that we are inherently disadvantaged…

Therefore, we feel we need to "settle for the status quo"—meaning to be content with everything and not demand anything more. For example, if our husband is indifferent and doesn't care about our feelings, we might shrug it off, saying, "All men are like that." In reality, ask yourself: Have you expressed your own feelings in a way that helps create a habit of expressing affection in him?

Similarly, many women are upset because their husbands lack passion and desire for them, but they themselves don't dare to take the initiative for fear of being perceived as "obedient" women. Passion is a two-way process.

If you want a man to be infatuated with you, you also need to show him that you're infatuated with him! Does this sound too bold to you? And you think to yourself, "No way this will happen!" Or "How can I possibly do this?"

Let's move forward.

Yes, take it one step at a time, allow yourself to move forward to experience, to explore, to discover yourself, to feel confident, interesting, attractive, diverse, and… loved.

If you've never worn makeup before, I wouldn't advise you to immediately go out with a makeup look like a model in a catalog. Start by getting used to it little by little, beginning with investing in skincare products to achieve smooth skin.

After a while, try some lip balm for a glossy finish, then later, boldly apply some mascara and lightly apply foundation to cover imperfections on your face. These small experimental steps will give you more confidence and joy than you expect. When you feel more confident, you will feel more self-assured, beautiful, and happy.

Go out into the street with a face that's beautifully made up like a model...

Allow yourself to try a new clothing color, experiment with a new perfume.

Accept invitations to birthday parties, after-work drinks, or outings with friends… You might feel shy, but remember, all experiences are good, so be more open.

In your career, don't hesitate to express to your husband your desire to work if it's a need for you: the need for financial independence, the need to develop your skills, the need for colleagues, to feel useful, and to be recognized.

Many newly married women, when their husbands say, "Just stay home and raise the children, I'll go to work," grit their teeth and stay home even though they feel their youth is being buried within four walls, that they are gradually losing confidence because they are always disheveled, have no friends of their own, and feel life is dull because they only know how to do housework and take care of children – while he is surrounded by many beautiful, cheerful, and fashionably dressed women.

Don't hesitate to express to your husband that you want to work and that you need financial independence...

They are attractive, interesting, and knowledgeable. This suffocates your heart; you secretly resent yourself for "sacrificing" for the family while suffering disadvantages, and he thinks you are unreasonable and greedy for doing nothing, being financially supported by your husband without having to work, and yet tormenting him.

Have your own career so you can be an active, interesting, beautiful, and happy person. You will come home to your husband as a loving wife and a confident, happy, and caring mother.

So what are you waiting for? Let him know you're the woman he desires, the one and only! Take a step forward and allow yourself to be happy, to enjoy happiness without having to think about the word "sacrifice."

According to Phununews