The runaway bride

(Baonghean) - I'd like to borrow the title of a movie to name my story. It's a secret, it's a pain, it's also a hatred… I know that, perhaps even now, the man I was going to marry, the man I swore to spend my life with, is still in shock, still can't understand why I ran away on our wedding day. It will forever be a deep wound in his heart…

I first met him during a performance at a military unit. After the curtain closed, he sought me out backstage and gave me some wildflowers still damp with dew, freshly picked by him. He said to me, "You sing beautifully; I felt like you were crying." I was taken aback; he was so perceptive. It was true, I had sung a song about my mother, and I felt my own silent tears. At that time, my mother had just passed away. As I sang, images of her final days in her hospital bed kept flashing before my eyes… But I thought that, with my strong stage presence, it would be difficult for anyone to notice how choked up I was. Later, he told me that because he had also lost his mother, he could clearly hear my tears.

He asked for my address and said, "I hope you sing even better in the future, and that you'll have the chance to come up here and see us soldiers." The greeting was simple, but his warm, deep voice, as if we'd known each other for a long time, left a lasting impression on me. Then, the hustle and bustle of my performance schedule and life made me forget about that performance and meeting. Moreover, it was also a time when I was busy studying for my entrance exams to pursue higher education at an art school in Hanoi. Later, friends and colleagues told me that while I was studying in Hanoi, a soldier with a backpack came to see me. He was from a military unit where I had performed before. He had come to the city to wait for a train back to his hometown, and remembered me, so he came to say hello. He had also been discharged from the army and was preparing to attend a university in Son Tay…

Everything would have faded away if it weren't for that fateful day when we met again on the train home. That day, the train was very crowded because it was a holiday. I saw a young man give up his seat to an elderly woman, accepting to sit in the aisle like me. When we both turned to look, we both felt a sense of déjà vu… It seemed we'd met somewhere before? And we both remembered that night's performance in the highlands years ago… He looked stronger and taller now, no longer the young soldier he once was. He complimented me: "You're still as beautiful and young as ever." Our journey seemed shorter because of that. Our interesting conversation made me forget all my fatigue. When the train arrived at the station, I learned that he had deliberately gotten off at the wrong station; he should have gotten off two stations earlier. We had a hard time dealing with the station staff that day, but it was also the first memory that sparked a deep affection for him in me.

Those letters brought us closer together. And in one letter, around the time he was about to graduate, he confessed his love for me. I accepted his love under special circumstances. It was when he visited me in the hospital, having heard that I had fallen into the water while on a business trip… He held my hand, with unspoken affection, and I let my hand rest in his warm one!

Our love was supported by our friends, and of course, in the end, although not entirely pleased, my father nodded in approval. He said he only felt sorry for his daughter, falling in love with an orphan who had lost both parents, and who wasn't from the same hometown. Moreover, he had taken a job far away, and getting married would be difficult. He set a condition: we both had to focus on building a life and establishing ourselves in the city, and I shouldn't act anymore. Instead, he would arrange for me to teach at an art school in our home province. Although I loved acting very much, this time I obeyed him because I felt my health wasn't good enough to keep traveling around. To my father, I was his most headstrong daughter, but he doted on me the most. Since my mother passed away, he loved me even more. My two younger brothers always obeyed his orders, but I was always the one who argued back, and he always had to give in. My mother was an actress in an art troupe, and I inherited her genes, so I loved singing from an early age. Growing up, I insisted on joining my mother's troupe so I could perform on stage, even though my father disapproved…

My engagement ceremony was quite formal. Many relatives from his hometown came to my house. I clearly felt the love everyone had for him, an orphaned nephew, and also the pride of the family because he was independent at a young age and excelled in his studies. We had made thorough preparations for a wedding that would take place in both our hometowns. And then that momentous day arrived.

Because I no longer have a mother, my father has always been by my side. During the wedding procession, he wiped away tears. He accompanied his daughter on her big day to her husband's hometown. And when we entered his house, as we performed the incense-lighting ceremony at the altar, my father suddenly turned pale… I panicked when I saw him put his hand to his chest and stammering, gesturing to me. Pushing through the crowd, I ran to him. He told me, "I'll speak to you privately for a moment." That was all, then he gestured for me to go with the groom. To be honest, my mind was in turmoil at that moment, because I vaguely sensed something very unusual. I sat at the bride's table, my heart burning with anxiety. Fortunately, the wedding was far away, so everything went quickly so the bride's family could leave in time.

I remember my father rushing me to the red dirt road behind his house, where a few curious onlookers watched. He said he wanted to tell his daughter a few things. It was a trail leading up a hill. He knelt before me and, with tears in his eyes, said, “My daughter, I’m sorry, but please, run away from this marriage immediately. I beg you, I’ll even sacrifice my life to get you to leave.” I was distraught and didn’t understand what was happening. I pinched my arm to see if it was real or not. Finally, he confessed the reason: “G. is your brother, your half-brother. I’ll explain later so you understand…”

I walked back to the bustling crowd as if weightless. And with those same steps, I found my way to the main road by hitching a ride with a boy cycling across the street. I flagged down the last bus from the hilly town to the highway, and from there, a long-distance bus took me to a distant city in central Vietnam, where a close friend of mine was staying. I went into a jewelry store, sold my wedding ring, and rented a cheap hotel room to wait for my friend's return. At that time, my friend was also attending my wedding.

Two days later, my friend was surprised to see me at her doorstep. She said she had been searching for me everywhere. The groom was devastated. His entire family was bewildered. She asked me why, and when she saw me sobbing, she hugged me tightly and comforted me: "Yes, there must be an important reason. Just cry it out, I believe you and I won't blame you or ask any more questions." In the days that followed, my friend found a way to inform my father, even though I didn't want to see him again. My father came to see me, and there, I learned a part of the truth about his life. G. was the result of his affair – a geological engineer – with a volunteer teacher who went to teach in the highlands. But when she became pregnant, he cowardly abandoned her. At that time, his team was also leaving her hometown. He said he wanted her to abort the child, but she insisted on keeping it. Later, when he fell in love with my mother—a talented and beautiful actress—the story with the teacher from years ago became just a faint memory. He also heard that, because she gave birth to a child without a father, the teacher had quit her job and returned to live with her parents in the countryside… When he entered his daughter's husband's house that day, he saw her portrait and name on the altar… He said that he had committed a sin that I had to bear the consequences of.

I don't know what to say to him. My heart is empty. Blame him, be angry with him, forgive him, feel sorry for him...? None of those feelings are within me.

All I know is that the story of a runaway bride for a mysterious reason sparked months of discussion. My family and I later moved south with my younger brother. We avoided mentioning those old days even once. But even without talking about it, that guilt haunted me and especially my father for the rest of my life…

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