A verbal debt!

(Baonghean) - There's a Vietnamese saying, "Criticism at funerals and reproach at weddings," meaning that when organizing funerals or weddings with many elaborate and complex traditional customs and procedures, and with a large number of attendees, even with the best efforts, mistakes are unavoidable. Therefore, criticism and reproach are inevitable. And that's perfectly normal.

Everyone has pride and self-respect. Therefore, almost everyone wants to show off and impress others, especially when it comes to weddings, which must be extravagant because it's a once-in-a-lifetime event. So, they spend all their possessions, and if that's not enough, they borrow from relatives and neighbors to make a name for themselves. I say "in the old days," but only a few decades ago, when the whole country was struggling with famine, and most activities revolved around "finding something to eat," people competed in terms of the number of dishes served. And on the tables were just a few bowls and plates, not the serving dishes; what was in the plates and bowls, whether it was a lot or a little, or just enough to have something to show for it. In short, back then, any wedding where guests ate until they were full for several days was considered big and extravagant.

Nowadays, when eating and drinking have been relegated to a secondary position, people are showing off and competing with each other through extraneous "accessories" outside the main meal. Back when motorbikes were rare and valuable, weddings where the bride was transported entirely on "gold-plated" Honda Cubs or Dream motorcycles were the talk of the town and district, with people marveling for months on end. Later, the trend shifted to using luxury cars for the wedding procession. This led to weddings featuring only luxury cars and hiring famous singers—those people only ever saw on TV—to entertain the community.

But that's for the super-rich; nobody can compete with them. For the middle class, besides the four-wheeled vehicles transporting the bride, groom, and guests, people also show off by giving dowries to their children. That's why we see weddings where the bride and groom are hunched over, their shoulders aching from the gold jewelry hanging around their necks, fingers, and wrists. Those with less money try to have weddings that are "shocking, unique, and unusual," such as wedding processions using bicycles, tractors, or ox carts... In other words, nowadays, people hold weddings primarily to gain fame, to get everyone talking about it, mentioning it, or posting it on Facebook for the whole world to know.

Although times have changed, one thing remains constant: weddings in Vietnam are an occasion to settle "verbal debts," both literally and figuratively. And if after the wedding one ends up in debt, so much so that they have to "work hard to pay it off," it's all because of... their mouths!

Artisan