"A pillar of support" for me

(Baonghean) - In Cay Chanh village, Dinh Son commune (Anh Son district), there is an unfortunate little girl. At 7 years old, she still cannot sit up or move on her own, and even eating is extremely difficult for her. Despite the unfortunate fate that life has bestowed upon her, this little girl still longs to go to school...

In their small, cramped house, Mr. Ngo Duong Xuan (1977) and Ms. Phan Thi Sen (1983) share their sorrow at having a child born with a disability... They married in 2005, and a year later, their son, Ngo Duong Phuc, was born healthy and without any defects. Their happiness overflowed. Phuc is now in the third grade; he started toddling at 8 months and was running around at 9 months. Then, a year later, Ms. Sen gave birth to a baby girl, seemingly the greatest joy, as the couple now had both a son and a daughter. The little girl was named Ngo Bao Loc, and the whole family rejoiced because "Phuc" and "Loc" were complete. The couple encouraged each other to work hard to raise their children well, despite the many difficulties in their lives.

But their joy was short-lived. Soon after, they discovered that Loc's bones were very weak, making it difficult for him to turn over, and his legs couldn't straighten. From birth to three months old, Loc developed normally, but as he grew older, his body became increasingly frail. The pain of parents giving birth to a child with a disability is immeasurable. Many nights, Ms. Sen stayed awake, not crying, but tears streamed down her face as she worried about her child's future. Mr. Xuan, meanwhile, suppressed his sighs, trying to hide his sorrow, not wanting to upset his wife further. Out of love for their child, Mr. and Mrs. Xuan sold all their valuable possessions and borrowed more money to take Loc to Vinh City and Hanoi for treatment, but so far, there has been no improvement. The diagnoses for Loc's condition varied from place to place. Some suspected cerebral palsy, others said he had weak tendons, and still others said he had mild Down syndrome...

Bao Loc was taught to write by his mother.

The handwriting of Bảo Lộc.

This year, Ngo Bao Loc turned 7 years old, an age when she could go to school on her own, play with friends, and help her parents with light chores. However, she remains confined to her bed, to the stained cement floor. Everything from moving around, eating, and personal hygiene requires her parents' help. She needs support to sit, leaning against a wall or chair. Without support, she will fall, and if no one helps her when she falls, she will be left lying motionless. When sitting, simply turning her head or leaning to one side will cause her to fall. To reach for something with her left hand, she has to tilt her head to the right to maintain balance. Bao Loc's legs still have feeling, but for some reason, she cannot bend or straighten them. With those legs, she cannot stand up in life.

For the past seven years, Mr. Xuan and Mrs. Sen have barely had a peaceful night's sleep. This is because Bao Loc cannot turn over on her own; when she gets tired and wants to change her sleeping position, she has to wake her father or mother to help. Each night, she needs her parents to turn her over 4-5 times. When it's time to eat, her parents have to find a place with support for Bao Loc to sit, placing an object at neck height in front of her to hold the bowl of rice (or porridge). She uses one hand to spoon the rice and food into her mouth, while the other hand supports her chin, with her elbow resting on her knee for support; otherwise, her whole body will fall forward. During the day, one of the parents has to stay home with their daughter to help with Bao Loc's essential needs. Recently, learning about Bao Loc's situation, the Anh Son District Youth Union donated a plastic wheelchair with a seat and safety belt to prevent falls. Her parents are relieved of some of their burden, no longer worrying about their daughter falling and can do housework with more peace of mind.

“Giving birth to a child with a disability is inevitably painful and difficult. But the most heartbreaking moment was when Loc was six years old. At the beginning of the new school year, while his peers were being given new clothes and books by their parents, he asked, ‘Mom, when will you buy me books for school?’ Hearing him ask, I suddenly burst into tears, partly because I felt sorry for him, and partly because I felt ashamed for having given birth to a child who wasn’t healthy,” Ms. Sen confided. At that time, Bao Loc was not yet old enough to understand the disadvantages and disabilities of his body. Seeing Loc’s desire to learn, Mr. and Mrs. Xuan thought about and discussed ways to get him to school. He considered the option of the couple taking turns carrying and dropping him off at school every day, so that Bao Loc could have some peace of mind and learn as much as he could. But unfortunately, his body was as soft as a noodle, and he could collapse at any moment if he lost his balance or support. Fearing that Lộc might fall and get injured while tired, or be teased by friends, causing him more pain and hardship for his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Xuân had to put their dream of sending their son to school on hold. They hoped for a miracle or an opportunity in the future.

Every day, whenever Bảo Lộc heard the cheerful chatter of the village children as they passed by her house on their way to or from school, she would look out the window with longing eyes, sometimes her parents would see tears rolling down her cheeks. At such times, her parents could only sigh silently, suppressing their sorrow deep within their hearts to avoid bursting into tears. In the evenings, Ms. Sen would often sit with her son, Ngô Dương Phúc, to help him with his homework, and Lộc also wanted to sit beside her mother to watch her brother study. Night after night, she would watch and remember quite a lot of the knowledge her mother taught her brother. Seeing that their daughter had a good memory, the couple decided to buy books and take turns teaching Bảo Lộc to read and write. By the age of six, Bảo Lộc had memorized the entire alphabet and could combine syllables and perform addition and subtraction within the range of 5. The only problem was that Lộc's weak hands made holding a pen very difficult, especially when drawing strokes to write letters. Ms. Sen bought handwriting practice books for her daughter to practice tracing each letter, and over time, Loc was able to trace the letters correctly in the book. But when practicing writing on white paper, she encountered many difficulties. Her soft hand wouldn't cooperate; when trying to connect two strokes to form the letter "o," it would be crooked; when trying to write the letters "ô" and "c" separately to form the word "lộc," they would stick together. At the end of each lesson, Ms. Sen would often grade her work to encourage her daughter, and most of Bao Loc's handwriting notebooks received a perfect score of 10.

Undeterred, she diligently continued with her pencil and notebook, sometimes using all her strength to write a single letter. To this day, Bao Loc is still engrossed in practicing writing. Due to her limited abilities and the need to earn a living, even though her parents want to continue teaching her to a higher level, they have no other choice. Their work is becoming increasingly busy, reducing the time they have to teach their child, and her skills and knowledge are at risk of gradually fading away. We verified Mr. Xuan and Ms. Sen's words by giving Bao Loc books to practice phonics, writing, and math. While not yet as proficient as a first-grade student, she has memorized the alphabet, can combine syllables, write some letters, and perform a few math problems. These tasks are quite simple for Loc's age, but for a disabled child unable to learn on her own, they represent a significant effort. Watching Loc sit and practice writing, his head tilted to one side, his hand resting firmly on the armrest of the chair, his hand laboriously drawing each letter, we could see the yearning and determination to learn of a disabled child. His mother sat beside him, watching each stroke, her eyes filled with love and hope!

Mr. Ngo Duong Xuan's family consists of five members: his wife, two children, and his elderly mother, who is over 80 years old. Their main source of income comes from three plots of tea plantations, which sometimes doesn't even cover food and daily living expenses. Although he loves his daughter dearly and wants to continue her treatment at orthopedic facilities, he hasn't been able to afford it yet, and he still has outstanding debts from previous years. Even simple things like buying his daughter an orthopedic brace or a wheelchair to help her get to school remain unfulfilled. Mr. Xuan shared: “Having a child born with a disability, and not being able to treat her or take her to school, makes my wife and I feel so sad, guilty, and remorseful. Every time I think about the future, when we are old and weak, and my daughter is bedridden with no one to help her, I can't hold back my tears. If there's a place that can treat her, even if it means selling all our land, I'm willing to do it!”

Ngo Bao Loc's eyes lit up with hope as he looked at the stranger. As we left the small house, we could still hear Loc's voice echoing from within: "Mom! When can I go to school?" His mother, Ms. Sen, replied, "Wait a little longer, son!" Mr. Xuan explained that whenever strangers came to visit and asked questions, Loc thought they were there to help him get an education, so he always asked his mother the same question after they left. His question only deepened the heartache of those around him. We hope that kind and compassionate people will come forward to give him a "support system" to help him get back on his feet in life!

Text and photos:Cong Kien