Tragedy of father and son

(Baonghean) - Only now do I understand that it was my grandfather's conservative, patriarchal nature that made my father go through those days of resentment. And perhaps, because of his longing for fatherly love, my father always gave us boundless love as compensation. He never beat my sisters and me. Perhaps, he kept this a secret just so that we could freely receive love from my grandfather...

During his lifetime, my grandfather had a small mole at the end of his ear. Out of 7 children, 6 had the same mole as my grandfather, only my father did not. Therefore, he naturally considered my father not to be his biological son. He hated my father and made my grandmother suffer. Even though my father resembled him in the way he walked, the way he laughed, the way he spoke… My father was a good student and was famous in the area. However, my grandfather was not proud of that, because at that time, people were still worried about three meals a day, few people thought about their children's education, and he did not consider my father as his son. When he was in 6th grade, my grandfather forced my father to quit school. So early in the morning, my father took a basket to the fields to catch crabs and snails, but he went around the school gate to go to school. My father always sneaked home early to catch crabs. When my grandfather heard about it, my father was severely beaten. My father quit school and left home from then on. My father wandered all over the southern lands, from hoeing grass for coffee in the Central Highlands to working as a construction worker for construction projects in Dong Nai... to make a living. For 5 years, my father did not return home, not even a single letter to inquire about my father's life or death. Only my grandmother missed him day and night. In a foreign land, by chance, one day, my father met a villager, asked about his family, and learned that my mother was seriously ill, so he immediately got on the bus to return home. Thanks to learning the construction trade and knowing how to calculate, my father quickly became a construction contractor in his hometown. At that time, my father had enough capital to build a family life, but my grandmother suffered from a serious illness, so all his capital was gone. When he got married, my father was completely empty-handed.

Illustration: An Vinh

When I first got married, my mother was surprised to see that whenever something happened in the house, my grandfather would blame it on my father. I noticed that my father and my grandfather rarely talked to each other for more than 5 minutes. If anything, my grandfather would yell at me and forbid my father from entering the house. As angry as my father was, my father loved my grandmother just as much. Because my father did not have the mole on his ear, my grandmother was known for being unfaithful.

My grandfather's garden was very large. My uncles and aunts were divided land by him to build houses right in the garden, while my parents had to move to another hamlet. My parents had to borrow money from everywhere, ask people to carry soil, build the garden and build a tiny thatched house. The image of that thatched house is still intact in my childhood memories. Every time there was a heavy rain or strong wind, my mother and I had to sleep at a neighbor's house. My mother was weak and could not do heavy work, so my father worked hard to earn money to support his wife and children. Inheriting the smart genes from my father, my sisters and I were all obedient and good at studying. One strange thing was that my brothers and sisters, my uncle's children, my aunt's children, and my aunt's children all had small spots at the end of their ears like my grandfather, while none of my sisters had any. However, my grandfather loved and pampered me the most. Every time I took the excellent student exam, he prepared me very carefully. He often drove me nearly ten kilometers to the district center by bicycle. On the way, he told me many stories and advised me on many things. My father often worked far away, when my mother gave birth to my younger brother, he had not returned in time, my grandfather cared for and worried about his daughter-in-law as if she were his own child. Perhaps my mother's tactful way of living, knowing how to respect her elders, had won his affection. Being pampered by him, I clung to him all day long like a tail without the slightest idea that there was such a great distance between him and my father.

One unlucky day came to my extended family, my grandfather had a traffic accident and had to have a blood transfusion. The whole family panicked and gathered at the hospital to have his blood tested, but only my father had the same blood type as him. He was hospitalized for nearly a month. During that time, my parents were always by his side, taking care of him... Looking at my father's sunken eyes from lack of sleep, I knew how much my father worried about him. However, he never said a word to my father, if anything, it was just empty sentences. He recovered, still loved my sisters and me very much, but I never saw him talk to my father, the only difference was that he rarely raised his voice at my father. During death anniversaries, the extended family gathered together, only my father was often absent and in my immature mind, I only thought that my father came home late from work, not in time for the feast. As time passed, his health gradually weakened. Before he passed away, his children and grandchildren gathered, he only said one sentence to my father: "Try your best." Tears welled up in the corners of my father’s eyes… It was the first time I saw him cry. The salty tears did not fall down his cheeks but melted into his wrinkles. My father did not cry out loud, did not call his name, only held his cold hand.

And perhaps, if it weren't for the times when my father got drunk and spoke unconsciously, I would never have known about the conflict between my grandfather and father.

Nguyen Le(take note)