The custom of "wife kidnapping" is distorted

(Baonghean)-It has become a tradition that after the Lunar New Year holiday, schools in the highlands are once again "hot" with the issue of students dropping out of school... to get married. In particular, many female students have had their studies interrupted because the custom of "wife-catching" has been distorted...

Sad stories

In the early days of spring, when wild flowers are in full bloom, the village is bustling with the sound of panpipes and gongs, signaling the season of meeting and dating, which is also a favorable time for couples to get married. "Wife stealing" is a custom of the Thai and Mong ethnic groups, expressing the freedom of marriage, allowing poor couples in love to come together, ignoring the dowry or family obstacles. According to ancient beliefs, "wife-catching" is also a test of the intelligence, courage, and sincerity of young men towards their lovers. Over time, this beautiful custom has been largely distorted, leading to many unpredictable consequences. Therefore, many female students at the age of 15, 16 have had to take on the role of wife and mother. Not to mention, many girls are forced to become wives when they have no feelings for each other, and after getting married, have to drop out of school to work and have children.

The custom of wife capture of the Mong people - Illustration photo

We arrived at Quy Hop 3 High School when Ms. Quan Thi Van, the homeroom teacher, had just returned from HTN's home to persuade her husband's family to let her return to school. At 15 years old, Ha Thi N is a diligent and good student, loved by teachers and friends. The whole class was surprised because a few days before Tet, N suddenly dropped out of school without permission and has not yet come to school. Through inspection, it was learned that on January 31 (ie December 22 of the lunar calendar), N was "arrested" according to the Thai people's custom of wife stealing. Although she had reported to her "husband's ghost", N did not want to stay home to be a wife, work in the fields, and have children. She longed to go to school like her peers. N confided in tears: "I am not ready to get married and have children. I miss my friends and teachers, I want to go to school but my husband's family forbids me from going." The homeroom teacher, Ms. Quan Thi Van, has visited N’s husband’s house and her parents many times to persuade them. She said: “The Thai people here believe that “wife stealing” is a beautiful custom of their ancestors. Any girl who is stolen and married must obey her husband’s family and give birth to a son to continue the family line; outsiders cannot interfere. If the husband’s family does not accept the daughter-in-law continuing to study, she must drop out of school.”

VTV (Chau Thai commune) was also forced to drop out of school to get married. V is a good student with a pretty appearance, so many boys in the village pay attention to her. At the end of the Tet holiday, V was forced to marry VXĐ (Chau Thanh commune), a student at the same school, during an outing. After that, both girls dropped out of school. The custom of “wife stealing” and prejudices from the husband’s family forced the girls to drop out of school to take care of the house and have children to continue the family line. Vi Thi V said: “Here, many 16-year-old girls already have children, my husband’s family just wants me to stay home to work on the fields, take care of the family and have children.”

Promote propaganda

Mr. Nguyen Minh Dat - Principal of Quy Hop 3 High School, said: The school has taken many measures to propagate and mobilize families and students to reduce the rate of school dropouts and child marriage. During flag salutes and class activities, teachers disseminate information to students about marriage, family planning, sex education, and reproduction. In addition, the school also coordinates with the Center for Population - Family Planning of Quy Hop district, Chau Quang Women's Union to organize girls' clubs, competitions on adolescent reproductive health care; organize families and students to sign a commitment to marry in accordance with the law. However, child marriage is still quite common. The reason is due to the conservative and backward thinking of the people; placing great importance on having children to continue the family line, so when children reach the age of 15, they start to want to get married.

A class to popularize knowledge about marriage and reproductive health for students at Quy Hop 3 High School.

Except for schools, the role of prestigious people such as village elders and village chiefs has not been highly promoted in disseminating and popularizing knowledge about marriage and family planning to each household. In addition, the laxity in monitoring the implementation of legal regulations on marriage in the locality is also a "gap" for child marriage to continue for many years. Ms. Phan Thi Oanh - Deputy Director of the Center for Population and Family Planning of Quy Hop district said: "Child marriage directly and indirectly affects family happiness, leading to consequences: domestic violence, unemployment, poverty, low quality of the race, unplanned childbirth, lack of conditions to raise children... Child marriage will continue to create vicious cycles, stagnating socio-economic development. Without proper attention, synchronous participation of all levels, sectors and people, and without proactive propaganda, mobilization and education, it will be very difficult to reduce child marriage".

Faced with this situation, there needs to be active participation from all levels and sectors and a high consensus from the people, from village elders, village chiefs to schools and families. In addition, it is necessary to synchronously implement strong measures in propaganda and mobilization work among the people, especially ethnic minorities, to gradually eliminate the situation of early marriage and dropping out of school to have children.

Hoang Van