When parents always wish "their children get as high scores as possible"
Perhaps never before have children’s grades become such a desire for many parents as they are today. The notion that “Children study well through their grades” seems to have permeated the marrow of many generations of parents.
That point of view becomes a burden on the shoulders and in the thoughts of the age group that is supposed to enjoy innocence, naivety, purity, and fun, but instead is filled with anxiety and sadness when they do not get the high scores their parents expect.
Are adults robbing children of their childhood? These two stories prove it.
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| The pressure of studying is weighing heavily on the students' shoulders. |
This morning, when I went into a familiar restaurant for breakfast, I was struggling to find a seat when I suddenly recognized a small student I had taught two years ago. He is now an 8th grader at a city school. Being friendly between teacher and student, he came over to greet me.
She quickly showed me her Literature score: “Teacher, I got 8.5 on the Literature test.” Her eyes lit up with joy. Then she continued: “This year, I am an excellent student like last year, teacher, but my total score is only 8.6.” Her eyes drooped, her face fell.
I quickly congratulated her on her achievement, but she was reluctant: "What's there to congratulate you on? My parents said that I have to get 9 points to get a prize." I was so surprised that I was speechless.
She looked down at her breakfast with a sad expression and mumbled, “I’m not a superhero to get a 9.” I had another chance to observe her – my innocent student from years ago – with her wandering thoughts.
She comes from a prestigious family with a tradition of studying. Two years ago, when I was teaching her, I met her parents a few times. They are intellectuals, they spare no expense, invest effort and time to let their children study. From regular classes, extracurricular classes, extra classes at the teacher's house, tutoring at home... as long as their children are excellent students. I remember for sure that, in the summer of the beginning of grade 6, this little student was already taking extra classes like a "running" singer, not to mention this year in grade 8, he studies day and night.
Seeing her again, unlike her plump, big, and chubby appearance in the past, she is now thinner and taller. She bowed her head over the steaming bowl of noodles: “I am so sad, teacher. I tried very hard but could not reach 9 points.” So this year, she did not receive any reward from her parents.
Listening to her and understanding the feelings of my former student, the breakfast in my mouth suddenly turned bitter.
In the same situation, next to my house is a girl in grade 9, the daughter of a normal working-class family. Her father works as an electrician and plumber, her mother does small business to make a living. Their dreams for their daughter are extremely big. The ultimate goal is for her to get into a prestigious high school. The immediate goal is for her to get high scores in all subjects.
She is good at all subjects and is a member of the school's gifted student team. Although her house is next door, I rarely see her because she goes to extra classes all day. Sometimes when she is home, she closes the door. When I ask her why she doesn't go out to play, she always says, "I'm busy studying."
With her, she always studies because I hear her say: “If I get a 10, mom or dad will reward me with a gift.”
Knowing that the girl has many gifts, it is certain that she got many 10s last week.
The other day, as I stopped the car in front of my house, I saw my little girl happily running over and saying: "Congratulations, I got 9.8 points on my Literature exam, the best in grade 9 of my school." She jumped up with joy and shouted: "Come here, I've got a lot of rewards, teacher."
The girl continued to chatter with an indescribable look of joy: “I got 9.8 points, but at first I looked at my score and thought I got 6.8 points and was so scared. If I got a low score, I would have beaten my dad to death.”
I went from one emotion to another, both happy and worried for her: "What if she gets a low score?"
At this time, she continued to bury her head in studying for the upcoming 9th grade graduation exam and 10th grade entrance exam, so meeting her was even more difficult.
We are all familiar with the common question we hear when meeting parents: “Which school does your child go to? What grades does he/she achieve…?”. These questions inadvertently make parents put more pressure on their children to study and achieve.
Both the boy and girl mentioned above are now like robots, not knowing how to do anything other than eat and study, even playtime has become a luxury for them.
So, who stole your childhood? When will your childhood return to its true meaning?