9 rules to help parents find common ground with their children
In the process of raising children, any parent will encounter difficulties when their children suddenly show signs of opposition or disobedience. Below are ways for parents to understand their children better and methods to find a common voice between the two generations.
1. Find your child's strengths
No one feels happy when being criticized, and neither do children. Even parents, when being banned or having negative attitudes from others, feel very angry. Therefore, you should find an advantage of your child and try to praise and encourage him to develop that advantage more. This will help your child feel happy and give up opposing attitudes or even causing chaos in the house.
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2. Offer options
Another thing that parents often do is to give orders and force their children to do as they say. In these cases, children will react harshly because they do not like being imposed.
The solution here is that parents should give choices within moderate limits, appropriate to their age so that children feel they have the right to make their own decisions and will be comfortable and happy to do what needs to be done.
3. Don't ignore children's problems, no matter how small.
Although simple, very few parents follow this rule. You often do not pay attention to the small troubles or simple interests of your child, which makes the child become dissatisfied and start to react negatively to parents.
Therefore, you should try to give your child some private space and prioritize some favorite activities to make your child more interested. This will also help parents gradually understand their children better.
4. Be able to break the rules
When playing with children, adults often impose inherent rules on them and require them to follow the rules. But this is a mistake because many times children like to create their own rules and will feel dissatisfied with the old rules.
Adults are used to being stuck in rigid rules and regulations, but children are not like that. Let them freely develop their own creativity, this method will stimulate thinking as well as help children be happier and live more positively.
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5. Don't help your child too much
You feel impatient when you have to wait for your child to do something for too long and just want to do it for them or help them do it right away to save time. But this only makes your child more dependent and passive in life.
Instead of saying, “Let me do it for you,” parents should encourage their children: “I will show you how to do this.” And if the child asks for help, evaluate whether the child is doing well or not to give appropriate instructions or continue to encourage the child to do it himself.
6. Want advice from your child
When you ask for advice from your child, they will feel that their opinions are valued. At this age, children always want to show responsibility, so this will help them feel happier and more positive in their daily activities.
Parents should ask questions to get their children to come up with solutions and advice for some tasks in life. This will help them feel trusted and will always talk and share more with you.
7. Show empathy
When your child talks to you about the problems they are facing, instead of saying things like: "I told you so but you didn't listen", parents should share and sympathize with their child more by saying things like: "I understand that he made you very sad"...
Don’t underestimate your child’s problems because it can cause many negative reactions and personalities. If your child wants to cry, let him cry while parents should comfort, console and discuss with him how to solve the problem.
8. Discuss hypothetical situations
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This is necessary to develop life skills for children. Parents should share with their children about hypothetical situations to find appropriate ways to handle them. For example: "Jason suddenly fights with his friends very often. Why do you think Jason does that and what should his parents do?"
Thinking with children under the guidance of parents will guide them to have practical knowledge, contributing to the development of necessary life skills for children in many situations.
9. Remember to use humor
Injecting humor into activities like playing house with your child or even during difficult moments will help your child feel more comfortable and less likely to react harshly to unpleasant situations. This also creates a fun, laughter-filled atmosphere for the family.