Tips to help your child always feel loved when they are not near their parents
An item that evokes a connection with parents also helps children easily overcome time apart.
Young children are very attached to their parents and want to be with them as much as possible. Research has shown that children experience high levels of stress at school and kindergarten because of the separation from their parents – which also has a negative impact on the child’s brain. However, this situation can be improved if parents know what to do.
Clinical psychologist Deborah MacNamara has spoken about the importance of attachment between parents and relatives to a child. This is extremely necessary to shape the child's personality. Deborah gives 3 simple rules to help children always feel loved when their parents are not around.
1. Attract children's attention
Focusing is one way Deborah mentioned to increase the bond between parents and children. With this, you can give your child a warm connection. To do this, you need to make eye contact with your child and get close to your child.
Or approach your child, join in the game they're playing, ask them about how their day went... Over time, this will help you build a warmer, closer, more meaningful relationship with your child.
2. Building children's communication circle
Parents cannot spend 100% of their time with their children. Instead, parents can create a circle of friends around their children - which indirectly helps develop the relationship between parents and their children. This means building trusting relationships between your children and people you can trust with them.
Shyness is a natural instinct of children, so sometimes they will not be ready to open up to building relationships with people who are not attached to them. So the way to overcome this obstacle is friendly and warm introduction - it helps children activate the "friendship" mode with the other person. The introduction can be done as follows:
- Be proactive: Parents should introduce their children to people they want them to be closer to. This helps children understand that their parents accept this relationship and at the same time, parents can maintain their primary role with their children.
- Find commonalities: Another way for a child to feel connected to another person is through commonalities. To do this, parents can mention the child's appearance, interests, experiences, or concerns that the other person shares.
- Maintain a sense of trust and communication between adults: Children tend to imitate their parents' attitudes towards other adults. When a child sees that their parents are confident and act well when communicating, the child is likely to do the same when interacting with others.
- Maintain a hierarchy of people around: No matter how large a child's social circle is, parents should always take the lead role. To do that, parents should be clear when explaining to their children who they should approach if they need help in an emergency.
- Create routines and strengthen connections: This is a way to make the surrounding environment safer and more understandable for a child; at the same time, it helps the child feel confident.
For example, if you always do something every day when you leave the house and pick up your child from school, it will help maintain a good attitude towards the environment in general and towards the teacher in particular. It could be a greeting, a hug, a kiss or a conversation about evening plans.
3. Create a connection between you and your child when you are apart
Children always find it difficult to part with their parents, especially children under 6. If you have to leave your child temporarily, you can entrust them to someone else who is responsible and try to "bridge" the gap between you. This could be a picture, a letter, a video call, a toy that smells of you or anything that helps your child connect with you.
Talking to your child about your future plans after you return, such as going to the zoo, will help them get through the time apart.