The 25-Year-Old Crisis

I recently started a new job. My reasons for changing jobs are quite common, like many young people my age: boredom with my old, familiar job, and a desire for a new environment and new challenges. After hiring me, my new boss told me: “I always ask each employee when they join the company: Who do you want to become or where do you want to go in the future? I can give you everything you need, but I need to know what you want to do with it.”

I was startled to realize I couldn't give an answer to my boss, or to myself.

I asked my friends, and to my surprise (or perhaps not), few of them could answer that question. Isn't it strange that at this age we're still struggling to figure out who we want to be in life?

Most people seek stability. A stable job, a stable salary, a stable life. No ups and downs, no storms, and especially no high-stakes games of chance. But anything too peaceful can easily become boring. The reality is that those who choose this path spend half their lives yawning and the other half complaining about how bored they are.

Some accept the gamble of fate. Sometimes they win big, sometimes they lose. Some have the perseverance and courage to keep playing after a few setbacks. Some give up with regret and often amidst the criticism of others. Ironically, parents are often among the most active critics. "A fish without salt will spoil; if you had listened to your parents from the beginning and gone to work at place A or B, you would be Mr. C or Mrs. D by now,"… and so on and so forth…

The reality is, when faced with a crossroads in life, we only focus on what immediately catches our eye: whether the road is wide or narrow, winding or straight, smooth or bumpy… No one thinks to ask, where will this road lead us? Because ultimately, if we ourselves don't know our destination, what meaning does the journey have? Or perhaps we choose the path we think is easy, only to realize in the end that it doesn't lead to where we want to go. What would you do in that situation? Find your way to your desired destination or resign yourself to stopping at a destination that doesn't belong to you?

Sadly, it's difficult to take control of the path we want to take or the destination we want to reach. We don't set out alone; we carry with us a baggage of responsibilities, some or many. The older we get, the heavier that suitcase of responsibility becomes. It can slow down our journey or, worse, change the entire route and final destination. In fact, the crisis for those approaching 25 erupts when they feel the weight of what is called Responsibility.

For some personal reason, I am an unfortunate (or fortunate, I don't know?) traveler who dropped my suitcase somewhere along the path of growing up. If someone were to ask me now what my destination is, I would answer: I don't know. Because for me, the journey is what matters, not the destination. Perhaps many people would call me crazy. But that doesn't matter, as long as I know I'm doing what I truly want, I'll still be a sane madman.

And you, do you know where you're going?

Hai Trieu