The impact of four common parenting styles on child development

Parenting can have a huge impact on everything from a child’s weight to how they feel about themselves. Researchers have identified four common parenting styles: Authoritarian parenting; Authoritative parenting; Permissive parenting; and Uninvolved parenting.

1. Dictatorship

Do you see any of the following sentences as you do?

- You believe that children need to be looked after but not have a say.

- When it comes to rules, you only accept the rules you set.

- You don't consider your child's feelings.

If any of the above statements are true, you may be an authoritarian parent. You want your children to follow the rules without exception.

Authoritarian parents often say, “Because I said so” when a child asks about the reason behind a rule. They are not interested in negotiating or bargaining with their children. They also do not allow children to participate in problem solving.

Authoritarian parents often punish their children instead of finding other ways to discipline them. So they focus not on teaching them how to make better choices but on making them feel guilty for their mistakes.

Children raised by this type of parent tend to follow the rules of society. However, obedience is instilled from a young age, meaning they think their opinions are not valuable, and therefore have low self-esteem.

On the other hand, they can also become unfriendly and aggressive. They do not think about how to change for the better in the future, but are overwhelmed by negative feelings towards their parents. Because authoritarian parents are often too strict, their children can become skilled liars in order to avoid punishment.

2. Authoritative but understanding

The characteristics of this type of parent are described as follows:

- You put a lot of effort into building and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.

- You explain the reasoning behind the rules.

- You enforce rules and give consequences, but consider your child's feelings.

Authoritative but understanding parents invest time and energy in preventing behavior problems before they develop. They also use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior, such as praise and rewards.

Researchers have found that children with authoritative parents tend to grow up to be responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions. As a result, they tend to be happy and successful adults, able to assess risks and make good decisions.

3. Pamper

- You set rules but rarely enforce them.

- You don't often set consequences.

- You think your child will learn best when parents interfere less.

If these statements sound familiar, you may be a permissive parent. This type of parent is quite forgiving and accepts many inappropriate behaviors with the mindset that "children are just kids." Even though they have set a punishment, when they punish their children, they may soften their heart when the children beg or only punish them "in a small way" because the children promise not to do it again.

Permissive parents often take on the role of friend more than parent. They encourage their children to talk about their problems, but don’t do much to discourage poor choices or bad behavior.

Children who are spoiled from a young age may have difficulty learning, have a poor respect for rules, and exhibit behavioral problems. They often have low self-esteem and are prone to depression.

Health problems can also result from this type of parenting. Parents who do not limit the amount of junk food their children eat lead to obesity. Parents who do not instill good habits such as brushing their teeth every day lead to cavities.

4. Don't mind

Do the following statements describe you:

- You don't ask your child about school or homework.

- You rarely know where your child is or who he or she is with.

- You don't spend much time with your children.

If so, you may be an inattentive parent. This type of parent tends to be out of touch with what their child is doing and sets few rules. The child may not receive much attention and guidance from their parents.

Often, parents do not pay attention to their children's development. They do not spend much time or energy on meeting their children's basic needs.

They neglect their children, but not always on purpose. For example, a parent with mental health problems may not be able to care for their child’s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis. Sometimes they lack an understanding of child development or are simply too busy making money or running the household.

Children raised this way often struggle with self-esteem issues. They tend to do poorly in school, have frequent behavior problems, and rank low on happiness.

Thuy Linh