The impact of four common parenting styles on child development
By identifying your parenting style, you can find ways to adjust it to get the best results.
Parenting can have a huge impact on everything from a child’s weight to how they feel about themselves. Researchers have identified four common parenting styles: Authoritarian parenting; Authoritative parenting; Permissive parenting; and Uninvolved parenting.
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Photo: Verywell |
1. Dictatorship
Do you find any of the following sentences similar to yours?
- You believe that children need to be looked after but not have a say.
- When it comes to rules, you only accept the rules you set.
- You don't consider your child's feelings.
If any of the above statements are true, you may be an authoritarian parent. You want your children to follow the rules without exception.
Authoritarian parents often say, “Because I said so,” when a child asks why a rule is being followed. They are not interested in negotiating or bargaining with their children. They also do not allow their children to participate in problem solving.
Authoritarian parents often punish rather than find other ways to discipline their children. So they focus not on teaching children how to make better choices but on making them feel guilty for their mistakes.
Children raised by this type of parent tend to follow the rules of society. However, obedience is instilled in them from a young age, meaning they think their opinions are not valuable, and so their self-esteem is low.
On the other hand, they can also become unfriendly and aggressive. They do not think about how to change for the better in the future, but are overwhelmed by negative feelings towards their parents. Since authoritarian parents are often too strict, their children can become skilled liars in order to avoid punishment.
2. Authoritative but understanding
The characteristics of this type of parenting are described as follows:
- You put a lot of effort into building and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
- You explain the reasoning behind the rules.
- You enforce rules and give consequences, but consider your child's feelings.
Authoritative but understanding parents invest time and energy in preventing behavior problems before they develop. They also use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior, such as praise and rewards.
Researchers have found that children with authoritative parents grow up to be responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions. As a result, they tend to be happy and successful adults, able to assess risks and make good decisions.
3. Pampering
- You set rules but rarely enforce them.
- You don't often set consequences.
- You think your child will learn best when parents interfere less.
If these statements sound familiar, you may be a permissive parent. This type of parent is quite forgiving and accepts many inappropriate behaviors with the mindset that "children are just children." Even though they have set a punishment, when they punish their children, they may soften their punishment when the child begs or only give a "small" punishment because the child promises not to do it again.
Permissive parents often take on the role of friend more than parent. They encourage their children to talk about their problems, but do little to discourage poor choices or bad behavior.
Children who are spoiled from a young age may have difficulty learning, disregard rules, and exhibit behavioral problems. They often have low self-esteem and are prone to depression.
Health problems can also be a result of this type of parenting. Parents do not limit the amount of junk food, which leads to obesity. Parents do not instill good habits such as brushing teeth every day, which leads to cavities.
4. Don't mind
Do the following statements describe you:
- You don't ask your child about school or homework.
- You rarely know where your child is or who he or she is with.
- You don't spend much time with your children.
If so, you may be a disengaged parent. This type of parent tends to be out of touch with what their child is doing and sets few rules. The child may not receive much attention and guidance from their parents.
Often, parents do not pay attention to their children's development. They do not spend much time or energy on meeting their children's basic needs.
They neglect their children, but not always intentionally. For example, a parent with mental health problems may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis. Sometimes they lack an understanding of child development or are simply too busy making money or running the household.
Children raised this way often struggle with self-esteem issues. They tend to do poorly in school, have frequent behavior problems, and rank low on happiness.