The need for divorce?
(Baonghean.vn) - Marriage certificate - like divorce - is a legal institution created by the State and lent to couples to preserve their marital happiness like a public key lending service.
“Just hearing the title makes me hate it!” many people might be thinking that, because who would enjoy being forced to break up, but let’s slow down a bit to see that sometimes many things that sound absurd turn out to be somewhat reasonable.
Divorce is a haunting word for me as I have spent 25/30 years of my life watching my own loved ones, those around me, and recently my friends - who are still very young. It is so haunting that I have been quietly researching it because I am certain that I will not allow anyone to judge my freedom and happiness, except myself.
Try searching on Google, the 10 countries with the highest divorce rates in the world will surprise you. Most of them are rich and civilized countries in Europe. Are they that “unhappy”? No, some countries are very proud of that index. Because they consider the higher the divorce rate, the higher the human freedom, the freedom to choose happiness, the higher the gender equality on a stable social foundation. People just need to answer for themselves “Am I still happy in this marriage?” The other things are left to the law, simple and relatively quick: no one is right or wrong, only want or not want.
Happiness, after all, is a sweet thing that only two people can feel, not a performing art. Many Vietnamese people are strange, they only like to watch comedy and also only like to see other people happy. A long time ago, there was a female singer and a male rapper who, because they no longer wanted to be together, voluntarily separated after many years together, and then a "jury" of tens of thousands of people condemned and judged them as if they were relatives, friends or relatives. Or recently, a billionaire who likes to wash dishes on the other side of the world was also judged just because he now decided to wash dishes for another woman. To me, that was strangely silly and tactless. The judging crowd, they don't love or truly want that AB couple to be happy forever, they simply want AB to be happy for them to see, for romance, they were a "beautiful couple" satisfying their curiosity but now suddenly they are no longer happy, they suddenly have nothing to watch and lose a topic to comment on. I often call it "the unconscious selfishness of the wolf pack". It's completely None of your business.
From my perspective, I also see many people have a trick that I think is “savage”, which is to use children (if any) to hold on to a dead marriage. Savage to whom? Savage to their own lives, people who no longer love each other, no longer have the need to be together but still have to smile and talk in front of their children and the community every day to give their children a temporary “family” and to promote it as a noble sacrifice for the next generation. Is that loving their children or harming them? Is that using ourselves to teach our children to live a lie, to live to please others, not to live true to ourselves? Why don’t we frankly tell our children about the rough and imperfect side of life and be ready to adapt to it? Have we ever accidentally broken a crystal vase and then turned to our children and said “just imagine that the vase is still intact, okay?” Our lives are not long enough for such imaginary illusions!
Marriage is like an elevator for two people, it can only go up, down or out. Going up or down is not important, what is important is that the two people in it still want to go in the same direction. If not, the best way is to get out, after thinking carefully.
Divorce is not the end, but just a U-turn on the journey of each person's life, a necessary new beginning of life. That U-turn may be right, but it may also sometimes make those involved regretful and sad, but that's okay, life is beautiful, let life be beautiful in all its flows, truly beautiful, not beautiful in endurance and imagination.
What about me, someone who absolutely hates divorce?
The marriage certificate - like divorce - is a legal institution created by the State and lent to couples to preserve their marital happiness like a public key lending service. That lock is as beautiful as a red string of fate but can also one day manifest itself as ugly as a tight chain. Therefore, I choose to preserve my happiness in my own way.
In the end, the real key is not kept in the ward People's Committee or the District Court, but turns out to be in each of our own hearts.