The secret to help parents completely eliminate dependence in children
No parent wants their child to be dependent, but many parents are unaware of the tips below.
Guide your children, don't do it for them.
If you want your child to grow up to be independent and thrive without you, your role should be to guide, not to do things for them. Instead of jumping in when they need help, show them how to break things down into steps. This makes them feel like they have accomplished things on their own, which helps build their confidence and sense of independence. If you have an older child, have them guide the younger one.
Give your child the opportunity and time.
Elizabeth G Hainstock - author of the book on teaching the Montessori method in the family advises: "Never do for a child what he is capable of doing himself". Parents should not underestimate their children's abilities. Children can clean up the play area, clean up spilled water...
Parents should create an environment for their children to be independent, for example, by having bins to separate toys by theme when cleaning up. Parents can give their children more time to complete their own work.
Praise your child's efforts
Increasing praise for your child is an effective way to build their independence. Parents need to let their children know that their efforts, no matter how small, are highly appreciated. Parents can praise their children even when they do small things like putting on their own socks or pouring water to promote their independence.
In addition to praising your child in front of others, make a habit of praising your child in front of others. This increases self-esteem and encourages independence. Instead of just saying, "You did a good job," you can say, "You did your homework yourself, making your parents proud," or "You swept the yard without your parents' help, what a good child."
Make a daily schedule
Parents can sit down with their children every night to create a schedule for the next day. Parents can give their children options to choose what they want to do at different time slots. This not only helps children manage their time but also helps them establish daily routines such as brushing their teeth, doing homework, and helping parents with simple tasks.
Make a list of tasks and let your child check off the tasks they have completed. This helps them see what they have accomplished, understand time management and independence.
Encourage your child to make his own decisions
Parents should encourage their children to make decisions within certain limits. One mother shared that she often gives her child 2-3 options such as choosing what to eat, where to go and what classes to take. Once the child has made a decision, parents should discuss the pros and cons with the child so that the child can understand that some choices will have consequences and lead to failure.
Parents don't want their children to make mistakes, but they need to see that it's part of life, says Sam Goldstein, Ph.D. "When your child doesn't succeed, talk about how to solve the problem, rather than saying, 'I told you not to do that.'" This encourages your child to try again and see if they succeed.