You're so rude!

Among the various ways to insult someone, the phrase "ill-mannered" is actually more offensive than we realize. Objectively speaking, "ill-mannered" isn't as vulgar as many other insults, but its "effectiveness" lies in its ability to kill two birds with one stone. Calling someone "ill-mannered" implies that they are the result of a terrible upbringing, and it's also a slap in the face to their parents. The skillful use of insults is effective in this way, whereas vulgar language, while seemingly insulting someone, can actually tarnish one's own reputation.

A common way to judge a person is by looking at how they are perceived by those close to them, or how they treat those close to them. For example, if I see a misbehaving child on the street, my judgment will be directed more towards the parents than the child themselves. The same applies in reverse. Understanding this psychology of parents, many mischievous children take advantage of crowded places to pester their parents for a toy, a snack, or even some kind of "deal." All this stems from the parents' fear of embarrassment and judgment when their child misbehaves in public.

In fact, that's a flawed and superficial approach to parenting. Proper parenting requires a clear distinction between right and wrong, yes and no. A wrongful act in public cannot be considered right when it occurs at home. A child's (and their parents') understanding of right and wrong must be consistent and based on personal conviction, rather than dependent on the number of people present. I've witnessed children pestering strangers for phones or personal belongings in public, and their parents were powerless to control their tantrums. This demonstrates that this whining and pestering has become a habit approved by parents at home, and the child is simply following their routine. Some parents will be incredibly embarrassed and apologize to the person being bothered, then take their child away, but others will shamelessly demand that the person being bothered give in to the child's request. Some agree, some don't. Expensive phones are sometimes smashed. Whose fault is it? The child's? The parents'? Or those unfortunate individuals who condone a flawed education?

Clearly, we Vietnamese are extremely concerned about educating our children because, as I mentioned above, children are the measure, the mirror reflecting our image in the eyes of others. But it is this very idea that unintentionally leads us to educate our children in the wrong and misguided way. We teach them to display their moral facade in public and judge right and wrong based on what others say, instead of educating them to be decent people who are not influenced by anyone or any external reason. That decency must be consistent at all times, in all places, and towards everyone, regardless of social status or relationship.

Ultimately, are those who don't feel overly outraged when called names like "disrespectful" or other vulgar terms simply because they haven't been properly educated, or is that the case?

Hai Trieu