Le Hoang lists statements that hurt Vietnamese women
He said he would never dare to criticize his wife for being ugly and could not accept the statements: 'Your mother is like this, your mother is like that', 'My wife cooks very badly'...
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Director Le Hoang shared interesting things about married life when participating in the talk show "Weekend Story" broadcast on VTV9 channel. |
Director Le Hoang began the story by saying that in the past, people often talked a lot about physical abuse such as beating their wives until their faces were bruised and bruised, however, that was the "tip of the iceberg". In fact, hidden in every Vietnamese family today are even more terrible problems of physical abuse, which is mental abuse and this often happens in urban intellectual families. And in most of these cases of abuse, the wives often endure and do not dare to share because the perpetrators are husbands who appear to be very polite, educated, and make money.
Agreeing with director Le Hoang, psychologist Dr. Pepper said that there were times when she met patients who came to her for psychological therapy, many of whom were not ugly but insisted on cosmetic surgery. And the reason they gave was because their husbands criticized them. Through that, psychologist Dr. Pepper said that most women are often sensitive and vulnerable, so just a slightly critical word from their spouse can make them feel hurt and hurt.
Immediately, director Le Hoang listed a series of cases that he witnessed every day such as: A husband always spoke ill of his wife in front of his children: "Your mother is like this, your mother is like that". Another man always criticized: "My wife is a bad cook". Or another husband introduced his wife to everyone: "This is my anti-fun medicine", or: "This is the old woman who gave birth to my son"... All of those statements, according to Le Hoang, were "unacceptable". According to Le Hoang, he had never dared to criticize his wife in his entire life. However, many men took it as a pleasure and often laughed and joked about their wives' appearance and age.
From her own experience, Dr Pepper said that she once "silenced" her husband when she was taking a shower at home and he criticized her: "Why are you so fat lately?" The female psychologist bluntly replied: "What are you saying? I used to be 49 kg, but after giving birth to two children for you, I gained 94 kg. I accepted to put on 45 kg to give birth to your children, so next time you have something nice to say, say it. If you say something like that, I won't accept it."
After that, Pepper's husband never dared to mention his wife's weight. He even became more understanding and respectful of his wife. There were times when their son lay on Pepper's stomach, her husband told his son: "Sit on your mother's stomach less because it hurts because she had to have surgery to deliver you. From now on, you have to love your mother more because she accepted the pain to have you."
Dr. Pepper also added that in places where people are stressed about work, family, and life, domestic violence is more common. Therefore, to avoid domestic violence, couples also need to know how to eliminate stress so that the family atmosphere is always happy and comfortable.
Director Le Hoang also "took the opportunity" to point out a huge sin of Vietnamese wives, which is the habit of "correcting" their husbands. There are wives who always criticize their husbands for putting things on wrong, wearing shirts in the wrong style, putting hats in this or that place... Over time, this accumulates, making the husbands feel stressed and tired when they come home. And gradually they will find a mistress who is no better than their wife, but has one advantage, which is that she never dares to "correct" him. "Mistresses are always sweet because they know they have no right to "correct" anyone, and they are very skillful and indulgent of men - something that nagging wives never have," said Le Hoang.
To avoid this situation, according to Dr. Pepper, instead of nagging and complaining, wives should know how to limit themselves. If they see that their husbands cannot change those traits after talking for a long time, they should understand that it is their characteristic and habit. Therefore, instead of correcting others, they should do it themselves because those things do not take too much time and make the family atmosphere less tense.
"People often ask me how I feel about living with a husband 8 years younger than me. I answer that I feel normal because I do everything myself. Men sometimes lack concentration, so no matter how much you talk, they won't change anything, so I'll stop talking and just do it for him," Dr. Pepper said.
Finally, director Le Hoang and Dr. Pepper advise couples to respect each other and avoid hurtful words to each other because it reduces the quality of life, the love they have for each other will fade, many people no longer want to go home, and over time the home will lead to cracks.