Gentle masculinity
(Baonghean.vn) - We often think that masculinity means being boisterous, reckless, and imposing. But in reality, with more life experience, we will see that a man is most masculine when he is at his gentlest.
The man screeched to a halt on his imposing motorcycle and stepped into the small alleyway cafe. His all-black outfit and bulky helmet tucked under his arm made him look intimidating. He used the tip of his shoe to pull a tiny wooden stool, then sat down, rolling up his sleeves to reveal a mass of tattoos. From the moment he entered, the cafe fell silent. Everyone subtly glanced at him, their eyes following his every move. After all, in such a small space, the appearance of a tall, imposing man with the look of a gangster was unnerving!
This didn't seem like his usual hangout. He beckoned to the waitress, ordering a black coffee, no sugar, no ice, and a pack of Malboro cigarettes. The girl cautiously said "yes," tiptoed in and out, and quietly placed the glass on the table before softly offering it to him. The man looked up and smiled slightly. He seemed accustomed to this kind of behavior everywhere he went.
The café fell silent for a moment, then became bustling again. The curiosity about the new customer was only fleeting. People began chatting idly about the named and unnamed things in this city; about the worries of daily life; about the trees on some street corner that had just been cut down to make way for sidewalk paving… Suddenly, it started to rain. A few drops, then ten minutes later, it poured down like a deluge. People on the street hurried to find shelter. An old woman, struggling with her carrying pole, walked unsteadily from the other side of the street towards the corrugated iron roof of the nearby bank building. The heavy load, the slippery road, poor eyesight – how could she possibly run fast enough to keep up with the changing weather? Suddenly, a tall man rushed out, raindrops pattering against his back. “Give it to me, I’ll carry it for you!” he shouted, his voice drowning out the rain and the incessant honking of cars. He lifted the pole onto his shoulder, one hand holding the load, the other guiding the old woman quickly towards the roof.
I often have a habit of sitting in cafes to write. That noisy space, with its cluttered tables and chairs, the whirring sound of the coffee grinder, crumpled napkins, the brown stains of chocolate, the boisterous stories of life… all find their way into many of my writings. And today, it's that man. A man with strong masculine hormones, even appearing arrogant and intimidating, but watching the way he gently guides the old woman through the rain is so tender and kind! We often think that masculinity must be about being boisterous, reckless, and domineering. But in reality, with more life experience, we will see that a man is most masculine when he is most gentle. Gentleness doesn't mean being weak or effeminate; gentleness is a powerful expression of a knowledgeable, patient, and humble man.
At this coffee shop, I observed many types of men. Quite a few of them were the arrogant type, who, at home, would criticize, scold, demand, and nitpick everything from the coffee cup to the tissue box, questioning everyone from the waitress to the shoe shiner, teasing the owner, and making fun of the female customers sitting nearby. But I also saw men bringing their children to the coffee shop; the father working on his computer, the child drawing beside him, occasionally turning to playfully ask him to help color a picture. There were men stirring their wives' coffee with milk, their eyes focused and gently listening to their little daughters talk, folding a few pieces of paper and handing them to their children when they got up to go to the restroom… How is it that these tiny actions make these men so great, so strong, so lovable! They are great because they know how to humble themselves to care for even the smallest things; Strong in their calm gaze and rough hands, capable of handling everything from business matters to tying pretty bows in a girl's hair; lovable for all these reasons, how could one refuse such a man!
Gentle masculinity is a hidden strength of men, I believe. But don't confuse the gentleness of a mature man with the fleeting indulgence of young boys. Mature men are gentle when needed, not indiscriminately showering others with flattering compliments. Sadly, however, men with gentle masculinity are still very rare!