One day after the tragic incident at a specialized school in Vinh city, Ms. Le Thi L - a parent whose child is studying in grade 5 in Vinh city shared in the class's closed group about her son's story. The 10-year-old boy has a very special situation because he only lives with his mother. Once, accidentally looking at his friend's profile, his classmates saw that he left his father's name blank and according to his mother, from then on, his friends often used this reason to tease him. The boy went home crying, feeling self-conscious and afraid to go to class. Even because of just one bad score, he thought that he was being shunned by his friends...
This parent also said that when she saw her child showing signs of mild depression, she talked to her child, found out the reason, and met with the homeroom teacher to share her child's story. Even with her son's classmates, she asked the teacher's permission to talk and analyze so that his friends could better understand her son's situation. After a while, she saw positive changes in her child.
After that incident, this parent said: Although the children are at a very young age, they have many complex psychological aspects. Even their relationships in class have many sensitive aspects and the world of children is sometimes more terrible than what adults can see. After the problems were resolved, the boy overcame his self-consciousness, inferiority complex, and got along with his friends...
At the provincial Department of Labor, War Invalids and Social Affairs, Ms. Le Thi Nguyet - Head of the Department of Child Protection, Care and Gender Equality is the person in charge of the hotline number to receive information about school violence, child abuse and abuse cases. More than a month ago, a woman in Cua Nam ward (Vinh city), whose child is in primary school, came to her for advice about being negatively affected by the homeroom teacher's words and actions, leading to panic and not wanting to go to school (regularly hitting the child with a ruler, threatening not to let the child take exams, not letting friends play with the child, etc.).
After receiving information about the incident, the Department of Labor, War Invalids and Social Affairs directly contacted the local unit and in the afternoon of the same day, the Department of Labor, War Invalids and Social Affairs of Vinh City coordinated with the Department of Education and Training of the city to go to the school to directly verify the incident. Here, the head teacher admitted to having "inappropriate behaviors", affecting the psychology of the students. The school also learned from experience, met with the family in a timely manner to encourage the student's psychology, creating all conditions for the student to study with peace of mind. At the same time, committed to strictly handling the violating teachers (if any) according to the provisions of the law and professional ethics...
Receiving this incident, Ms. Le Thi Nguyet was also particularly impressed with the story of the child's mother. Because, although the mother is just a normal worker, a single mother, but when she noticed her child had unusual signs, she accompanied her child resolutely. Moreover, this parent boldly called the hotline and then went directly to the management agency to request clarification of the incident, showing that she is a very responsible mother and cares about her child's thoughts and actions every day. Ms. Nguyet believes that if every parent is strong and knows how to deal with unusual problems of their children like this mother, many heartbreaking and tragic incidents will be limited.
Families have a huge impact on children and their actions, both positively and negatively. Teacher Ngo Thuy Nga - Teacher at Nghi Loc 3 High School shared: "Family is the first cradle of education and sometimes this is the cause of school violence. Before writing the topic "Guiding life skills for high school students in general and problem students in particular", I conducted a social survey in 15 middle and high schools in the province. The results showed a remarkable number: 80% of problem students originated from the family. And school violence, in my opinion, is more or less similar if parents do not care, share, and put their own pressure on their children. In particular, if parents often vent their anger on their own children, in many forms such as neglecting, cursing, or beating their children without a good reason... they may have unintentionally planted negative perceptions in their children's psychology, causing serious trauma. From there, it negatively affects the process of personality development, making children easily inhibited, angry, and having difficulty controlling their emotions and behaviors... Obviously, the influence of the family is very large. Therefore, when school violence occurs, please do not blame the school and your children entirely. That is why our ancestors said to look at your children and correct yourself!”
Talking about the role of the family, recently when talking with teachers in Nghe An province, Associate Professor, Dr. Pham Manh Ha - Director of the Center for Training and Development Cooperation, University of Education, Vietnam National University, Hanoi emphasized the relationship between family and school: Although not all parents listen and share with teachers about educating their children. But the connection between family and school is extremely important and we need to build seamless information channels, via phone, via text messages. After the information, there needs to be feedback from both sides, so that there can be companionship, finding a common voice to handle children's relationships.
As mentioned, from mid-April 2023 to present, Nghe An Education Department has coordinated and organized 3 conferences and forums around the issue of school violence and handling school safety issues. Through these conferences, the existing problems, difficulties, and outstanding issues have been frankly recognized and analyzed, and solutions have been found.
Giving her opinion on the issue of school violence, Ms. Le Thi Nguyet - Department of Labor, War Invalids and Social Affairs has many concerns about school psychology, network security, and the network environment: "Currently, "digital life", "digital family" and teachers also operate on digital management. Therefore, it is difficult for us to separate students in the digital environment, and it is also difficult for parents to separate their children from using phones, when there are outlines, exercises, group interactions... Therefore, in the current situation, instead of denying, we must equip students with skills to access digital technology, equip them with knowledge about information technology, about how to behave with social networks"...
Ms. Le Thi Nguyet also expressed concern that families and schools are mainly interested in IQ indicators, but have not paid attention to other EQ and AQ indicators of social emotions, value-identifying skills, survival skills, and problem-solving skills. Meanwhile, in reality, through recent unfortunate incidents, students lack emotional processing skills... Citing an example from a recent meeting attended by many teachers in charge of the Youth Union and the Young Pioneers, when asked about some indicators related to student development, many teachers still could not answer this question. Giving her opinion, Ms. Nguyet added: If teachers do not have many skills to handle these issues, it will be difficult to educate students on life skills and problem-solving skills. That is also the reason why, faced with many incidents, students do not know how to face problems and solve them appropriately. That is also the cause of some tragic and unfortunate incidents.
At the Forum on School Violence Prevention and Control held in Vinh City in mid-May, Mr. Nguyen Xuan An Viet - Deputy Director of the Department of Politics and Student Affairs, Ministry of Education and Training also said: School violence in particular, and law violations in general are the consequences of individuals who have not achieved cultural, ethical, lifestyle, and life skills. In addition, the influence of the digital world is increasingly overwhelming the real world. With these difficulties, in order for the work of preventing and controlling school violence to achieve good and sustainable results, it is necessary to solve the root of the problem. In particular, it is necessary to strengthen the work of building school culture, seriously implementing cultural behavior in schools, educating students in ethics, lifestyle, and life skills to "exempt" them from school violence in particular and other social evils in general.
Regarding the issue of school violence, Mr. Thai Van Thanh - Director of the Nghe An Department of Education and Training also expressed his concern about the work of ensuring school security in recent times. In the face of the fact that school violence may increase, the Department has requested that schools continue to raise awareness, especially in management work right at the unit. In addition, there needs to be coordination with relevant departments, sectors, localities where schools are located and in families and the community. At the same time, it is necessary to focus on school psychology, considering this a regular task of all teachers, not assigning responsibility to a few part-time or part-time teachers.
On the students' side, the head of Nghe An Education hopes that they will not assert their position based on physical strength but need to form a sense of helping and supporting each other to live together with those around them, originating from the love and altruism of each person. Make them realize that life will be truly meaningful if they not only know how to live for themselves but also know how to help others, especially the unfortunate and disadvantaged; a truly strong person is not only based on their own strength but also on how they behave with those around them.
