What criteria do men use to choose a wife?

"Why did he choose her and not me" is a question many women ask and you will find the answer after reading the article below.

Should I choose a beautiful wife or a good wife?

This is the analysis of Dr. Seth Meyers, a psychological consultant in Los Angeles, USA, on the Eharmony website about the criteria men rely on to find a life partner:

You may think that love is a mysterious thing and what brings two people together is like the stars lining up in the sky. But the truth is, there are certain factors that attract two people and make them stay together for a long time thanks to certain glues.

In my years of working in a clinical setting and counseling couples, I hear every day about the factors that turn men and women on and off when it comes to finding out if they can connect with each other.

One of the most common questions I hear from women is, “Why did he choose her and not me?” While it can’t be answered in a general statement, it can be understood like this: Men choose a woman over a few “potential candidates” for a few reasons, and they’re not really what you think:

Sexual compatibility

When it comes to this compatibility, a man chooses a woman because she meets the sexual criteria he wants in a life partner. He likes the way she kisses, the way her body moves and expresses herself. Does he need to be attracted to her sexuality? Yes, but a man does not need to feel extremely sexually attracted to choose his woman.

If given a choice between two women he finds sexually attractive, a man will choose the one he feels more compatible with in the following other ways.

Emotional harmony

In general, men enjoy being touched. Men are less expressive than women, so they feel more comfortable connecting with their significant other through physical contact.

A man chooses one woman over another partly because he feels she is emotionally compatible with him. She is affectionate, she touches her man in a way and with a frequency that he likes.

For example, if you present two women with similar personalities, a man will choose the one he feels more affectionate toward because he perceives her as warmer, gentler, and more caring.

Get along with your close social groups

One of the main factors that makes a man choose a woman is how he feels she fits into the social group he is in. Because most people have parents and siblings - the group they consider their extended family later (when they have their own family). A man needs the woman he chooses to fit into his existing family.

Image is important to men, so they need to feel that the woman they choose is someone they would be proud to introduce to their colleagues, whether they work at an auto repair shop or at a law firm. The point is simple: She has to fit in with the crowd he belongs to.

Values ​​match: Family

Perhaps the most important life value for men relates to family - deciding whether a man wants to marry and have children with a woman.

For a man who doesn't like the traditional family style, he will choose a woman who openly expresses that she is not suitable for it. For a man who wants a family with a virtuous wife and obedient children, he will choose someone who expresses his desire to build a home filled with the sounds of children.

Values ​​fit: Level of social interaction

One of the important life values ​​that a man cares about is social interaction in the present and future.

For example, one of the top stressors when two people are dating is how much each person likes to socialize, including going out to bars, hanging out with friends, and attending social events. Men who are not very social will choose women who are similar to them, and vice versa.

Matching life values: Independent travel and travel together

Another important life goal for men—and one that determines the type of woman they choose—is the amount of freedom she gives him. And the amount of freedom in a relationship, believe it or not, is travel. For a man who likes to travel with his friends (whether it’s a hunting trip, a night out, or a religious pilgrimage), he’ll choose a woman who allows him to be free and accepts the fact that he needs some space in his life.

As for the guys who are looking for a soulmate, they will choose a woman who would rather be with him than go on vacation with her girlfriends. A woman who likes to do everything herself will intimidate a man who likes to do everything with his "other half" and this will not change over time.

Although these formulas may not seem as romantic as the love at first sight that we often see in movies, understand that these are the factors that will help you choose the right person for you more easily.

According to VNE