What criteria do men use when choosing a wife?

"Why did he choose her instead of me?" is a question many women ask themselves, and you'll find the answer after reading the article below.

Should you choose a beautiful wife or a capable wife?

This is an analysis by Dr. Seth Meyers, a psychological consultant in Los Angeles, USA, on the Eharmony website, regarding the criteria men use to find a life partner:

You might imagine love to be a mysterious thing, and that what brings two people together is as romantic as stars aligning in the sky. But the truth is, there are certain attractive elements that draw two people together and keep them together for the long term, thanks to certain bonding agents.

For many years working in a psychology clinic and counseling couples, I've heard daily about the factors that create or detract from interest between men and women when dating, in order to determine if they can connect with each other.

One of the most common questions I hear from women is, "Why did he choose her and not me?" While it's impossible to answer in a single sentence, it can be understood this way: A man chooses a woman from a number of "potential candidates" for a number of reasons, and those reasons aren't really what you might think:

Sexual harmony

When it comes to compatibility, a man chooses a woman because she meets the sexual standards he desires for a lifelong partner. He likes the way she kisses, the way her body moves and expresses herself. Does he need to be attracted to her sensuality? Yes, but a man doesn't need to feel an overwhelmingly high level of sexual attraction to choose his woman.

If faced with a choice between two women they both find sexually attractive, men will choose the one they feel more compatible with in the following ways.

Emotional harmony

In general, men enjoy physical touch. Men tend to be less expressive of their feelings than women, so they feel more comfortable connecting with their partners through physical touch.

A man chooses one woman over another partly because he feels she is emotionally compatible with him. She is affectionate, she touches her man in a way and with the frequency that he enjoys.

For example, if you present two women with many similar personality traits, the man will choose the one he finds more endearing because he perceives her as warmer, gentler, and more considerate.

Get along with the groups you're close to.

One of the main factors influencing a man's choice of a woman is his feeling that she fits into the social group he belongs to. Because almost everyone has parents and siblings – a group they consider their extended family later on (when they have their own families). The man needs the woman he chooses to get along with his existing family.

Image is very important to men, so they also need to feel that the woman they choose is someone they can proudly introduce to their colleagues, whether they work together in an auto repair shop or at a law firm. The issue is simple: She has to fit in with the crowd he belongs to.

Alignment of life values: Family

Perhaps the most important life value for men relates to family – determining whether a man wants to marry and have children with a woman.

A man who dislikes the traditional family model will choose a woman who openly expresses that she is not suited to it. A man who desires a family with a loving wife and well-behaved children will choose someone who shows a wish to build a home filled with the sounds of children's laughter.

Compatibility in life values: Level of social interaction

One of the important life values ​​that a man cares about is social interaction, both now and in the future.

For example, one of the leading factors causing tension when two people are dating is each person's level of social interaction, including going out to bars, hanging out with friends, and attending social events. Men who don't enjoy socializing much will choose women who are similar to them, and vice versa.

Aligning lifestyle values: Independent travel and traveling together.

Another crucial life goal for men—one that determines the type of woman they choose—is the degree of freedom she gives them. And believe it or not, that degree of freedom in a relationship is travel. For a man who enjoys traveling with friends (whether it's a hunting trip, a night out at bars, or a religious pilgrimage), he will choose a woman who allows him freedom and accepts the fact that he needs a certain amount of personal space in his life.

As for men looking for a soulmate, they will choose a woman who enjoys being with him rather than going on vacation with her female friends. A woman who prefers to do things herself will threaten a man who likes to do things together with his "other half," and this will not change over time.

Although these formulas may not seem as romantic as the love-at-first-sight moments we often see in movies, understand that these are the factors that will help you choose the right person for you more easily.

According to VNE