Confessions of a woman who cheated on her husband.

As a woman, I may be strong, but in love, I still need affectionate words. However, my husband believes that romance is only for those who are in love and not yet burdened with family responsibilities.

Ten years ago, my husband and I probably both thought that living together under one roof was the greatest happiness in the world. And indeed, there were days like that. Until the burdens of daily life weighed heavily, and the children came along one after another...

Sometimes I still feel confused about myself, about what I truly want. Do I still love my husband? Why, after so many years of marriage, do we suddenly realize there's no more excitement, affection, or passion left? We've gone through these years together, busy with making a living and neglecting to love and understand each other so well that it's become boring. After all, I'm just a woman; I may be strong in life, but in love, I still need affectionate words. But my husband thinks romance is only for those in love who aren't burdened with family responsibilities. There are times when I long for a hug, a kiss on some anniversary he's forgotten because he thinks it's just for show. And now I can't even remember the last time we kissed.

There were times I longed for a hug, a kiss... but he forgot because he thought it was just for show. (illustrative image)

I met that man at a small party. He was married, just like me. Yet the way he looked at me, the way he asked about me and showed concern, made my heart race. Women are most easily swayed when they are lonely. Perhaps he appeared at a time when I felt lonely and lost. That night, he drove me home, stopping a short distance from my house, saying he was "afraid your husband might misunderstand and cause you trouble."

I walked into the house and saw my husband pulling the blanket over our child, complaining to me about our son's poor academic performance and our daughter's stubbornness. Then he asked me a few questions before falling asleep. I lay beside him, ashamed to realize my thoughts were on another man.

As with anything, once there's a beginning, everything that follows is easy. From a few text messages and phone calls, we met, had dinner, coffee, and went on dates. Each day we missed each other intensely. It wasn't a feeling I hadn't experienced with my husband, it's just that it was so far in the past. This man is making me realize I'm not just a boring, monotonous woman with two children. Every word he says, every action he takes, makes me happy and moved.

One time after our date, he suggested we go to a hotel. It's true I was infatuated with him, but I felt conflicted about going to bed with him. I wasn't single; what would I gain by taking things to the extreme with him? Finally, I decided to try something. We rented a small room, and he didn't seem too eager or in a hurry. Perhaps he was thinking: I'll be his eventually anyway. I unbuttoned a few buttons on my shirt and asked:

Why do you love me?

Because you deserve to be loved.

Can we be together forever?

We both have families now. Isn't this better?

-So you leave your wife, and I leave my husband. Are we going to stay like this forever?

It's often said that in love, men and women are two different things. Men can sleep with women they don't have feelings for. Women, on the other hand, only sleep with the man they love. Men who cheat will eventually return to their wives and children. Women who cheat don't want to go home anymore.

For a moment, I noticed a look of astonishment in his eyes. He started speaking incoherently, spouting a myriad of excuses. And I, in my delirium of love, was still intelligent enough to realize he didn't want to abandon his family. He had cheated, I had cheated, but ultimately, I was far inferior to him. I left the motel without saying goodbye.

I went back to my mother's house for two days to clear my head. I told her what had happened. She looked at me sadly, her eyes revealing a mixture of disappointment and pity. My mother said, "Life isn't a romance novel, so why are you demanding so much? Your husband loves you because he wants to be with you for life. That other man loves you only for a short time. Your husband doesn't spend too much energy and time on you because he needs to save his energy for his family and his life. That other man loves you as if he'd die for you, but he only needs to love you for a few days, sleep with you for a few nights, and then abandon you. Your husband takes care of your life. That other man only takes care of your feelings. You won't find someone who fulfills the responsibilities of a husband and father while also being passionately in love and romantic like a lover. Don't make things so difficult for yourself. It's easy to leave a marriage, but very difficult to get back. Be careful with every step you take."

I want to go home...

I sat listening to my mother's words, my mouth dry and unable to speak. If only she had slapped me a few times, perhaps the pain would have been less than what she had just said. Because the more I listened, the more I realized how worthless I was, feeling self-loathing and self-contempt. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. And when you're wrong, you can justify it with countless reasons, but adultery is always wrong, never right. My mother said: Getting lost isn't scary; the scariest thing is not knowing where you want to go.

I want to go home.

I opened my eyes as the sun blazed through the window. The space was unusually quiet, devoid of the children's incessant chatter. It took me a moment to remember it was Sunday. A small note lay on the bedside table, in my husband's scribbled handwriting: "Seeing you sleeping so soundly, Mom, the three of us couldn't bear to wake you. We're going to Grandma and Grandpa's; you can come over later." I sat up, the bright sunlight hitting my face. It's true, you have to go through the darkness to appreciate the brilliance of the sun. Happiness isn't far away, so why keep searching tirelessly for it?

According to Dantri