Confessions of an adulterous woman

As a woman, you may be strong but in love you still need sweet words. But my husband thinks: romance is only for those who are in love and not tied down by family.

Ten years ago, my husband and I must have thought that living together under one roof was the greatest happiness in the world. In fact, there were days like that. Until the burden of food and clothing became too much, and the children came one after another...

Sometimes I still feel like I don't understand myself, don't understand what I really want. Do I still love my husband? Why do we live together for so many years, then one day realize there is no more excitement, love and excitement. We have gone through years like that together, busy making a living and neglecting love, understanding each other so well that it's boring. I am just a woman after all, I can be strong in real life but in love I still need sweet words. But my husband thinks: romance is only for lovers who are not tied down by family. There are times when I crave a hug, a kiss for some anniversary that he has forgotten because he thinks it's a fantasy. And now I can't remember when was the last time we kissed.

Many times I crave a hug, a kiss... but you forget because you think it's just a dream. (illustrative photo)

I met that man at a small party. That man, like me, had a family. But the way he looked at me, asked about me and cared for me made my heart beat faster. Women are most easily conquered when they are alone. Perhaps he appeared when I felt lonely and unstable. That night, he took me home, stopping a distance from home with the reason "I'm afraid your husband will misunderstand and make you suffer".

I walked into the house and saw my husband covering the baby with the blanket, complaining about the older boy's lack of study and the younger girl's stubbornness. He then asked me a few questions before falling asleep. I lay beside him, ashamed to realize that my thoughts were on another man.

Whatever happens, once there is a beginning, everything that follows is not difficult. He and I started with a few messages, a few calls, then met each other, had dinner, had coffee, dated. Every day that passed, I missed each other like crazy. It's not that I had never had that feeling with my husband, it's just that it was too far away. This man is making me realize that I am not a boring and monotonous woman with two children. Every word he said, every thing he did made me satisfied and moved.

One time after our date, he suggested we go to a hotel. It was true that I was crazy about him, but I was hesitant to go to bed with him. I was not single, what would I get if I went to the end of love? In the end, I decided to do a test. We rented a small room, and it felt like he was not too eager or hasty. Because perhaps in his mind, he was thinking: I will be his sooner or later. I unbuttoned a few buttons and asked:

-Why do you love me?

- Because you deserve to be loved.

-Can we be together forever?

- We both have families. Isn't this better?

-So you leave your wife, and I leave my husband. Are we going to be like this forever?

People often say that in love, men and women are two different things. Men can sleep with women they have no feelings for. Women only sleep with the people they love. Men who cheat will return to their wives and children. Women who cheat do not want to go home.

For a moment, I noticed that his gaze was a little startled. He began to speak incoherently with a myriad of reasons. And I, in my delirium of love, was still smart enough to realize that he did not want to abandon his family. He also cheated, I also cheated, but in the end, I was completely inferior to him. I walked out of the motel without even saying goodbye.

I went back to my mother’s house for two days to clear my head. I told my story to my mother. She looked at me sadly, her eyes showing both disappointment and pity. Mom said: "Life is not a romance novel, why do you ask for so much? Your husband loves you because he wants to be with you for life. The other man loves you because he wants to go a short distance with you. Your husband does not use too much energy and time for you, because he also has to save energy to take care of his family and life. The other man loves you to the point of dying because he only needs to love you for a few days, sleep with you for a few nights, and then abandon you. Your husband takes care of your life. The other man only takes care of your feelings. You will not be able to find someone who can fulfill his responsibilities as a husband and father and is passionately in love and romantic like a lover. Don't make things difficult for yourself like that. The marital home, it's easy to leave, but very difficult to come back, you should be careful with every step."

I want to go home...

I sat listening to every word my mother said, feeling my mouth dry and unable to form words. If only my mother had slapped me a few times, I would have felt less pain than what she had just said. Because the more I listened, the more I realized that I was a worthless woman, I felt hatred and contempt for myself. Everyone has times when they are right and times when they are wrong. And when they are wrong, people can justify it with a thousand reasons, but having an affair is only wrong, never right. My mother said: Getting lost is not scary, the scariest thing is not knowing where you want to go.

I want to go home.

I opened my eyes when the sun was shining brightly through the window. The space was strangely quiet, without the nagging sounds of the children, it took me a while to remember that today was Sunday. There was a small piece of paper placed at the head of the bed, in which was my husband's scribbled handwriting: "Seeing Mom sleeping soundly, the three of us couldn't bear to wake her. Dad and I went to see Grandma and Grandpa, Mom wake up and come over later." I sat up, the bright sunlight hitting my face. That's right, you have to go through the dark night to see the brilliance of the sun. Happiness is not far away, why bother looking for it?

According to Dantri