Microwave!

(Baonghean) - It's actually a tour via microwave. He used a microwave to take the delegates around the world for a few dozen minutes; in French, it's called a "microwave tour"!

Photo: Internet

- Thank goodness you're here, Uncle Dung! Oh my goodness, where have you been all these days? You've been nowhere to be seen, and the villagers of Dong have been searching for you frantically. Thankfully, everyone thought you'd done something reckless because of the pressure of debt. Seeing your arrogant face reappear, fully recovered, is a great blessing…

- Hey, hey, you better watch your language! Insulting a leader's face will result in a penalty that cuts off your pension, and the price is no less than 5 million dong. And what about the crime of defamation? Who do I owe money to, what do I owe, and how much do I owe?

- Just pretending to agree! You don't owe money, you owe the people your promise! It must be acknowledged that you're good at... forgetting! When you first took office as village head, you "messaged" that you would make our village's cultural movement a spearhead, aiming to be the best in the region. Now, our village "still sings songs of burning fire with hearts full of love," but with the current chaotic situation, when will we ever catch up to Thai village, Sing village, or even Cam village, sir?

- I'll leave this open for the next term; I don't dare answer that... I take responsibility for what I've tried to achieve but haven't yet met the expectations of the villagers. This responsibility will be passed on to the next village head. Because time is running out, what else can I do now!

- Oh! But the election isn't until another eight months, sir. Are you really going to be a "village headman carrying an umbrella" for almost another year?

- Oh dear, Uncle Dang is really spreading misinformation. I'm getting busier towards the end of my term. Didn't you hear that National Assembly representative use the analogy of "the last train"?

- So, what will your work be at the end of your term? Gather your courage and carefully state the job that takes up the most of your time for everyone to hear!

For example, I have to spend most of my precious remaining time going abroad… to study!

- Are you out of your mind, Uncle Dung? It's the end of the season, you should be busy gathering information about retirement benefits, not trying to implement anything else!

- Hey! Who told you that learning is just for implementation? Didn't you hear the Minister of Culture and Sports tell the story before the National Assembly about a foreign vice president begging to visit and learn from our "Ethnic Groups Cultural Village" model? Look, that project that the press has been constantly reporting on – "spending trillions of dong only to leave it abandoned" – yet their vice president still asked to visit and learn from it. Do you think they learn from it just to implement it?

- This proves that our Ethnic Groups Cultural Village project is world-famous!

- Yes, it's famous, so famous that people beg to visit, and they visit to avoid making the same mistakes! Westerners may seem imposing, but they're very shrewd, Uncle Dang!

- Okay, now please tell everyone where you've been hiding all week?

- I wasn't hiding, I went to watch the "Miss Cow" contest all the way in Moc Chau! It was amazing, uncle, every single one of the contestants was completely naked and still looked like a dream!

- Hey, you don't go to see a beauty pageant for women, but you travel hundreds of kilometers just to see a beauty pageant for cows. Don't tell me you idolize female four-legged mammals, do you?

- Don't worry, watching the first cow beauty pageant saves you money on tickets. Secondly, the judging is fair and objective, without any controversy between the head judge and the... beauty queen. But the best part is, you don't have to listen to the contestants' answers in the Q&A round, so all the cows are equally intelligent. It's just a little regrettable that the organizers didn't bring the "poem hat," which was ranked fourth in the world at the international tourism fair, to promote by having the beauty queen wear it. If they had added that detail, I'm sure the image of "cows wearing hats" would have soared even higher!

- Did you follow the "unprecedented" questioning session at the National Assembly forum recently, Ms. Dung?

- Of course, I saw it on… TV. I followed it and was quite impressed with the comment of National Assembly Chairman Nguyen Sinh Hung about a minister who organized a trip for delegates that was "too tiring"!

- Who is so generous? But with the delegates so busy with meetings, how can they organize a trip?

- That's the Speaker of the National Assembly reminding the minister whose term is "about to end" to stop rambling on about one country after another when answering questions during the interpellation session...

- Did he just invent a new type of "casual" tourism?

- It's actually a tour via microwave. He used a microwave to take the delegates around the world for a few dozen minutes; in French, it's called a "microtour"!

- That would be a waste of time for nearly 500 members of parliament, wouldn't it, sir?

- It's probably only a waste of less than 400 delegates, because I heard that on one occasion, more than 100 delegates were absent from the meeting!

Dung & Dang