Will 'cold war' make marital relationship worse?

(Baonghean.vn) - Couples often have a "cold war" when the two sides cannot compromise and resolve conflicts together. But did you know that a cold war will make the relationship between husband and wife worse?

Cold war will make the relationship between husband and wife worse (Illustration photo)

My friend told me that her husband came home from drinking at 10pm that night. She was so angry that she didn't open the door to let him in. But he still dared to make an excuse: as a man, shouldn't he stand there begging his wife all the time? It's just a pity that he's bothering the neighbors, so he went to sleep in a hotel.

In the morning, he came home to beg, she was angry and spoke harshly to her husband. So he had a cold war with her for a whole week. She said that every time they had a cold war, she couldn't sleep all night, was extremely stressed, and even had to take sedatives.

It is true that “silence is golden” helps you avoid trouble in your relationship, but remaining silent when angry can also lead to long-term consequences in your marital relationship.

Every time the couple has a cold war, she can't sleep all night, her mind is extremely tense (illustrative photo)

Cold war between husband and wife makes the relationship worse?

To examine how cold war affects marriage, scientists at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas, USA, analyzed 74 different studies, with a total of 14,000 people. The results showed that people who often choose silence or are often faced with silence from their partners can be negatively affected both mentally and physically.

Silence increases anxiety for both partners and can lead to dominating behavior. At the same time, these couples will:

• Less satisfied with the relationship, intimacy and communication skills between spouses than other couples.

• Couples in a cold war have a higher risk of divorce.

• In addition, the cold war also has negative effects on health, causing urinary and intestinal diseases and erectile dysfunction in men.

Experts say that when people feel hurt and do not want to talk about the current conflict, they often choose silence. Some people stay silent because they want to maintain control, seek safety, and do not want the conflict to become more serious, but some people stay silent because they are “too angry to speak”.

So what to do when husband and wife are in a cold war?

To us, family means embracing each other and always being there for each other (illustrative photo)

In the short term, temporary silence can ease the tension of confrontation, giving both partners time to think about their actions. However, with the above research results, you can see that the situation of a long-term cold war between husband and wife does not resolve the conflict but has a negative impact on the relationship between husband and wife.

Breaking this habit of silence is not easy, especially for people who are quiet and do not like to explode. However, even if you do not want to talk to the other person, you should not let yourself be "absolutely silent".

American psychotherapist Teresa Grella-Hillebrand suggests talking about your grief, even if it's just to yourself, and then analyzing both of your mistakes to avoid slipping into a damaging silence.

Then, after about an hour or a day, when you feel less angry and your heart is warm enough to continue loving and talking to your partner, you need to talk to him about the conflict that happened.

An Nhien(synthetic)