Will a 'cold war' worsen a marriage?

(Baonghean.vn) - Couples often experience "cold wars" when they cannot compromise or resolve conflicts together. But did you know that a cold war can make a marital relationship even worse?

A cold war will only worsen the marital relationship (Illustrative image).

My friend told me that day, her husband came home after drinking until past 10 PM, and she was so angry she refused to let him in. Yet, he dared to make up an excuse: as a man, he couldn't possibly keep begging his wife, it would only bother the neighbors, so he went to sleep at a hotel.

It wasn't until morning that he came home begging for forgiveness, but she got angry and said some harsh things to him. As a result, he gave her the silent treatment for a whole week. She said that every time they had a cold war, she couldn't sleep all night, her mind was extremely stressed, and she even had to use tranquilizers.

While it's true that "silence is golden" can help you avoid trouble in a relationship, being silent when angry can also lead to long-term consequences in a marriage.

Every time the couple has a cold war, she can't sleep all night and is extremely stressed (illustrative image).

Does a cold war between spouses make the relationship worse?

To examine how cold wars between spouses affect marriages, scientists at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas, analyzed 74 different studies involving a total of 14,000 people. The results showed that those who frequently choose silence as a solution, or who often face silence from their partner, may experience negative impacts on both their mental and physical health.

Silence increases anxiety for both partners and can lead to one spouse acting dominantly towards the other. Simultaneously, these couples will:

• They are less satisfied with the relationship, and intimacy and communication between spouses are also weaker compared to other couples.

Couples experiencing a cold war are at a higher risk of divorce.

• In addition, the Cold War had a negative impact on health, causing urinary tract infections, intestinal diseases, and even erectile dysfunction in men.

Experts suggest that when people feel hurt and don't want to talk about the current conflict, they often choose silence. Some remain silent to maintain control, seek security, and prevent the conflict from escalating, while others remain silent because they are "too angry to speak."

So what should you do when you and your spouse are having a cold war?

For us, family means embracing each other and always being there for one another (illustrative image).

Initially, temporary silence might ease the confrontation and tension, giving both parties time to reflect on their behavior. However, as the research shows, prolonged periods of cold war between spouses do not resolve conflicts and can negatively impact the relationship.

Breaking this habit of silence is certainly not easy, especially for those who are quiet and don't like to express themselves. However, even if you don't want to talk to the other person, don't let yourself become completely silent.

American psychotherapist Teresa Grella-Hillebrand suggests that you talk about your grief, even if alone, and then analyze the faults of both parties to avoid falling into a harmful silence.

Then, after about an hour or a day, when your anger has subsided and your heart is warm enough to continue loving and talking with your partner, you need to talk to him about the conflict that occurred.

An Nhien(synthetic)