A visually impaired mother finds 'light' from her inner strength.
(Baonghean.vn) - An accident at the age of 29 robbed Pham Thi Thu Nga (Doi Cung Ward, Vinh City) of her eyesight. Overcoming her losses and disadvantages, Ms. Nga found "light" through her diligence, thirst for knowledge, and positive attitude towards life.
The most unacceptable thing
Even though 15 years have passed since the accident, Pham Thi Thu Nga still cannot overcome the grief of permanently losing her eyesight. As she recounts the story, her voice chokes, her lips tremble, and tears stream down her face beneath her dark glasses.
“It was a torrential downpour. While riding my motorbike, I raised a hand to wipe away the raindrops splashing on my face. As soon as I lowered my hand, the back of a tanker truck was right in front of me. I crashed into the frame of the truck, which was parked on the side of the road with its lights off. My helmet wasn't strong enough; my entire facial bone shattered, and I lost my sight…” – Ms. Nga recounted. She was rushed to the provincial hospital, then to Hanoi, and passed through several major hospitals, but no doctor could save her.eyesof her. Her sense of smell has also completely disappeared.
After months of treatment in the hospital, Ms. Nga returned home feeling utterly devastated. Out of compassion, everyone cared for her deeply. Afraid she would be sad, her friends frequently visited and invited her out. “At that time, deep down, I still couldn’t believe I would be permanently blind. I still held onto the hope that one day, when I woke up, I would see the light, even if it was just dimly. I clearly understood that if I suffered, those who loved me would suffer even more; they were innocent. And I had young children, one 5 years old and one 10 months old. My children needed their mother, and I had to live, I had to be strong for them. Thinking that, I suppressed all negative emotions, pretending to be okay, still appearing strong and resilient. Only when I was sure no one was around did I allow myself to cry…”
Although she couldn't yet accept the harsh reality of her eyesight, with her intelligence and quick wit, Ms. Nga quickly adapted to a world without light. She made full use of her imagination and sense of touch to grope her way through her first steps and try her first tasks. Sometimes she stumbled, sometimes fell hard, sometimes things went wrong, sometimes things went wrong, but these minor difficulties couldn't deter her.
I'm fortunate to have received so much care and support from both my paternal and maternal families, as well as my husband. If I hadn't taken the initiative, they probably would never have let me do it. But I wanted to do everything myself, firstly to get some exercise, and secondly to be independent in life. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone.
Six years ago, when she discovered she was pregnant with her third child, she decided to keep the baby and only asked relatives to help care for it during the first month. From the second month onwards, the completely blind mother took care of her child entirely on her own. Many people were skeptical, many were worried, but she succeeded.
As her self-care and family care skills improved, Ms. Nga proactively sought out the visually impaired community to make friends, find empathy, and share experiences. She and her fellow blind people in the Provincial Association of the Blind often asked each other: If you could see again, what would be the first thing you'd want to do? She told her friends she would cycle around Vinh City to see how much it had changed. But in reality, that wasn't the only thing on her mind. She wanted to see how beautiful her three daughters were, to see how much her parents had aged, and to see the changes in herself in the mirror after all these years…
She lowered her head thoughtfully, her voice choked with emotion: "Of all the things that are difficult to overcome, accepting that I will never be able to see again is perhaps the hardest. If someone is born blind, perhaps it's easier to accept. But for those who have always been able to see, like me, it's usually filled with regret and remorse."
Continuously learn and be grateful.
With her existing cultural background and habit of accumulating knowledge and self-improvement, Ms. Nga has found wonderful values in her life.
Years after the accident, in addition to doing housework, Ms. Nga also worked packing goods at her family's incense factory. While the job suited her existing skills, it didn't really fit her personality.
“Sitting in one place and only doing manual labor makes me feel confined. I maintain the habit of listening to TV to stay updated on current events and health knowledge, listening to podcasts and audiobooks to train my thinking and enrich my life. These things make my life more fulfilling and meaningful,” Ms. Nga confided.
Having maintained this habit for many years, Nga can't even count the number of audiobooks she's listened to. She's absorbed knowledge across all genres, from foreign literature to Vietnamese literature, from economics books to parenting books, from psychology books to life skills books…
Besides reading books, Nga also learned about self-development and parenting courses through podcasts and radio programs. She said: “Even though life is difficult and challenging, I am willing to spend money on an online course that I like, as long as I feel the value of the course is worthwhile. Learning makes me better every day, helps me control my emotions better, and allows me to see problems more thoroughly. When I am more knowledgeable, those around me, first and foremost my husband and children, will also be happier.” This quiet accumulation of knowledge has given her the motivation to “do something” more meaningful for herself.
Through a friend's recommendation, Ms. Nga began learning the trade at a massage and acupressure center run by the blind. Considered a quick learner, Ms. Nga soon mastered the skills. Not content with what she was taught, she also spent money to experience the services of all the skilled practitioners to gain further experience.
“Initially, my family and friends were quite apprehensive about me doing this job. Because they had never experienced the service before, some people had preconceived notions about massage and equated my work with other unhealthy forms of massage. But later, after witnessing and participating firsthand, they understood and became supportive. I like this job because it relates to health – a field I'm interested in – allows me to meet and talk with many people, and gives me a goal to strive for.”training"—she confided.
However, working at a massage parlor run by blind people also has many limitations. The nature of this work means customers come after working hours, and on busy days, the work extends past midnight. Unable to bear seeing her husband and children interrupting their sleep to pick her up, especially on rainy, cold days, Ms. Nga decided to start her own service and provide home delivery. Once again, people didn't believe she could do it, but she did. With the help of technology, she booked a ride and had a driver or homeowner guide her to the location. With her intelligence, dedication, broad knowledge, and accumulated medical expertise, the number of customers seeking her services increased steadily.
I used to resent my fate and not appreciate what I had. I also wasted a lot of time because of worry and hesitation. But not anymore. Every morning when I wake up, I feel grateful for life and my family. I do what my heart tells me to do with the utmost confidence. And I believe that this attitude will help me find new "lights" in my life.