Blind mother finds 'light' from inner strength
(Baonghean.vn) - An accident at the age of 29 took away the eyes of Pham Thi Thu Nga (Doi Cung ward, Vinh city). Overcoming loss and disadvantage, Ms. Nga found "light" through her diligence, eagerness to learn and positive attitude towards life.
The most unacceptable thing
Although 15 years have passed since the accident, Pham Thi Thu Nga still cannot overcome the sadness of losing her eyes forever. When telling the story, her voice choked, her lips trembled and tears streamed down under her black glasses.
“That day was a pouring rain. While driving my motorbike on the road, I raised one hand to wipe the raindrops off my face. When I put my hand down, right in front of me was the back of a tanker truck. I crashed into the frame of the vehicle while it was parked on the side of the road and had no lights on. The helmet was not strong enough, all the bones of my face collapsed, shattered, and my eyes could no longer see anything…” – Ms. Nga said. She was immediately transferred to the provincial hospital, then to Hanoi, and moved to several large hospitals, but no doctor could save her.eyesher. The function of smell of the nose is also completely lost.
After many months of treatment in the hospital, Ms. Nga returned home feeling disappointed. Everyone loved her and took good care of her. Fearing that she would be sad, friends often came to visit and invite her out. “At that time, partly because deep inside I did not believe that I would be blind forever. I still had hope that one day when I woke up, I would see the light, even if it was just a dim light. I clearly realized that if I was suffering, those who loved me would suffer even more, they did not commit any crime. And I also had small children, one 5 years old, one 10 months old. My children needed their mother and I had to live, had to be steadfast for them. Thinking that, I suppressed all negative emotions, pretended to be okay, still acted strong and courageous. Only when I was sure that no one was around, did I allow myself to cry…”.
Although she could not accept the harsh truth about her eyes, with her intelligence and agility, Ms. Nga quickly adapted to the world without light. She used her imagination and sense of touch to the fullest to take her first steps and practice doing her first jobs. Sometimes she stumbled, sometimes fell painfully, sometimes broke down, sometimes failed, but those small difficulties could not trouble her.
I am lucky to have the utmost care from my paternal and maternal families and my husband. If I did not take the initiative to ask for things, they would never let me do them. But I want to do everything myself, first of all to exercise my body, and secondly to be proactive in my life. I do not want to be a burden to anyone.
Six years ago, when she found out she was pregnant with her third child, she decided to keep the baby and only let relatives take care of it for the first month. Since the second month, the blind mother has been taking care of her child from A to Z by herself. Many people were skeptical and worried, but she did it.
When her self-care and family care skills improved, Ms. Nga proactively sought out the blind community to make more friends, gain more empathy, and share. She and her friends in the same situation in the Provincial Blind Association used to ask each other: If my eyesight returned, what would be the first thing I would do? She told her friends that she would ride her bike around Vinh city to see how much Vinh had changed. That said, in fact, that was not all that was on her mind. She wanted to see how beautiful her three daughters were, to see how old her parents had become, to see her own changes in the mirror after all these years...
Thinking for a moment, she choked up again: “Of all the things that are difficult to overcome, accepting that you will never be able to see is probably the hardest. If you were born blind, it would probably be easier to accept. But for those who have seen like me, they will often feel regret and remorse.”
Never stop learning and be grateful
With her existing cultural foundation and habit of accumulating knowledge and improving herself, Ms. Nga has found wonderful values in her life.
Many years after the accident, in addition to doing housework, Ms. Nga also worked as a packaging worker at her family’s incense factory. Although the job suited her existing skills, it did not really suit her personality.
“Sitting in one place and only doing manual work makes me feel confined. I maintain the habit of listening to TV to update current news and health knowledge, listening to podcasts and audiobooks to practice thinking and enrich my life. These things make my life richer and more meaningful,” Nga confided.
Having maintained this habit for many years, up to now, Ms. Nga cannot count the number of audiobooks she has listened to. She has absorbed knowledge of all genres, from foreign literature to Vietnamese literature, from economics books to parenting books, from psychology books to life skills books...
Not only reading books, from podcasts and radio programs, Ms. Nga also learned about courses on self-development and parenting. She said: “Although life is difficult and difficult, I am willing to spend money on an online course that I like, as long as I feel that the value of the course is worth it. Learning makes me better every day, control my emotions better, and see problems more thoroughly. When I am more knowledgeable, the people around me, first of all my husband and children, will also be happier.” It was this silent accumulation process that gave her more motivation to “do something” more meaningful for herself.
From a friend's recommendation, Ms. Nga went to learn a trade at a blind massage and acupressure facility. Considered a quick learner, Ms. Nga soon mastered the trade. Not only did she not stop at what she was taught, she also spent money to experience the services of all the skilled people in the profession to gain more experience.
“At first, my family and friends were quite hesitant when I did this job. Because they had never experienced the service before, some people had prejudices against the massage profession and equated my job with other unhealthy forms of massage. But later, when they witnessed and participated in it, people understood and turned to support me. I like this job because it is related to health - exactly the field that I am interested in, I get to know and talk to many people, and it helps me have goals to strive for,practice" - she confided.
However, working at a blind massage establishment also has many limitations. The nature of this job is that customers come after working hours, and there are days when there are many customers, and the work lasts past 12 o'clock at night. Unable to bear seeing her husband and children pick her up and drop her off from sleep, especially on rainy, windy, and cold days, Ms. Nga decided to open her own service and provide services at home. Once again, people did not believe she could do it, but she did it. With the help of technology, she booked a car, asked the driver or the homeowner to lead her in. With her intelligence, dedication, extensive knowledge and accumulated medical knowledge, the number of customers coming to her increased day by day.
I used to blame my fate and not appreciate what I had. I also used to waste a lot of time because of worries and hesitations. But now, every morning when I wake up, I always feel grateful for life and my family. I do what my heart tells me to do with the utmost confidence. And I also believe that this attitude will help me find my new “light”.
