To become a human and earn a living, from childhood to adulthood, each of us must learn so much knowledge and skills from school to the street, from parents, teachers to people in the world… But being rich, successful or the most famous, does not necessarily mean happiness. What happened?
Then one day I realized, maybe it's because we haven't learned one of the most important skills in life: Accepting skill.
Indeed, all suffering, insecurity, anger or annoyance are ultimately due to people not accepting one or more realities of life, but instead wandering around chasing after what they don't have yet, and when they have it, they want more, more, everything. Acceptance is always difficult, especially accepting the imperfections and shortcomings of oneself.
If I were an actor who was dreaming of fame and then people criticized my performance after many long nights of hard practice; it would be frustrating, but I would accept and look deeply into those compliments and criticisms to understand that: Praise is love, and criticism is also love. To be able to give out genuine criticism means that people have spent precious time to watch my work, and expect a greater effort. What is more frightening than criticism? Silence. I would accept that imperfection and will come back with a greater effort, which is not a big deal, because “no one is perfect”.
If I am a person who is holding a mass of suffering within me and then trying every way, I still cannot escape it. First, I lovingly accept it as a part of me, inseparable, so I cannot run away. I cannot cover my eyes with my right hand to try to forget that my left hand is in pain. People often say "Drinking to drown sorrows only makes sorrows worse", alcohol - friends - parties or outside consolation are only temporary painkillers or worse, placebos - cannot solve the problem at its root. To heal, first, I need to be there with myself, accept it, take care of it from the heart and the wound will heal, it is not a big deal because "when the rain stops, the sun will shine".
If I were a young person with the desire to succeed and then realized that there were people around me who were more successful. As a human being, everyone would go through all the emotional steps: Jealousy, envy, disappointment and then self-doubt. But things could only be different if I reached the step: Acceptance. I accept that I am still inferior and need more effort. I accept that success is not a measure of others, but only a measure of myself. I accept that today I am not as good as many others, but tomorrow I will definitely be different from today. I happily accept the presence of more successful people around me to know that bamboo shoots are growing in the bamboo forest. I accept my limitations before finding my strengths. I learn to accept myself before life accepts me, it is not a big deal, tomorrow is starting from today.
I came back from vacation and realized that the hydrangeas I planted before Tet had wilted because I had not been home for more than 10 days to water and take care of them every day. Blaming myself for being away for so long, leaving them alone with the morning sun and balcony wind, I accepted that they had wilted and were no longer vibrant. And I began to pick off all the drooping buds, shed the dry leaves, cut the withered branches and accepted to water and take care of them again from the beginning with the same love, care and excitement as when I first bought them. I believed that in just a few days, the hydrangeas would smile at me again, it was no big deal, because flowers wither and then bloom again, as always, impermanent.
In that way, I accept that happiness is right here, and the hydrangea is already blooming in my heart.
Article: Hoang Huy
Illustration: TL
