Tricks to turn the tables when your husband is having an affair.

Planning to meet his mistress, Tuan saw his wife dressed up, wearing makeup and calling a taxi, so he canceled the date and angrily demanded that she stay home so they could go pick up their child together.

After being hospitalized due to physical exhaustion from insomnia and poor appetite following her discovery of her husband's infidelity, Ms. Thu (Vinh City) resolved to change herself. "For months, I struggled to figure out what I had done wrong that caused my husband to seek 'other women,' then I questioned him and searched for evidence. But he still didn't stop. While hospitalized, thinking about my helpless daughter at home, I truly regretted neglecting myself," Ms. Thu explained.

From then on, she started scheduling daily exercise and body care, focusing solely on herself, her children, and letting her husband do whatever he wanted. She also joined book clubs with her children, went on weekend outings, and rediscovered her long-neglected hobby of traveling.Every weekend, the mother and daughter would go out, sometimes traveling for several days at a time, without informing her husband because "it's been a long time since he's spent a day off with the family."

Every day, instead of cooking rice and setting aside a portion for her husband, and then getting angry when he doesn't come home to eat, she only cooks for herself and her daughter. "If he comes home and wants to eat, he can cook noodles himself," she said.

Occasionally, in the evenings, the 31-year-old woman sends her children to their grandparents' house so she can go meet friends or see her favorite shows.

Just when she had mentally prepared herself for a life of separation, her husband suddenly... tried to keep her. He resented her dressing up to go out at night and found every way to keep her at home. The father, who had never even known the name of his child's teacher, suddenly started coming home early to pick up the children, and even invited the whole family to go to the movies on weekends. "Finally, I didn't question him at all. My husband confessed to having had an affair before and asked for forgiveness, wanting us to start over and take care of the family together. I've never wanted to break up our family before, so I agreed, but I also told him frankly that I would still live for myself and my child first and would divorce him immediately if the same mistake happened again," Thư expressed.

Illustration photo: All4women.

Having once described herself as "like a madwoman" during the time her husband openly had an affair, Ms. Ngoc, a department head at a food distribution company in Hai Ba Trung, Hanoi, transformed herself to turn the tables.

Ms. Ngoc recounted that she had frankly told her husband, "Since you don't value the family, let's each spend our own money and live our own lives. I will also find another man to have fun with. If you can't accept that, then let's get a divorce."

She did exactly as she had said she would. She continued to care for the two children but paid no attention to her husband, took off her wedding ring, and readily went out to eat, drink coffee, dance, or travel with other men whenever she liked. Her husband became jealous, resentful, and even lost his appetite, couldn't sleep, his hair turned gray, and he became haggard. Then one day, he called her to sit down and talk, wanting them to put aside all past issues and, for the sake of their children, return to rebuilding their family.

"It's true that things don't easily go from dark to bright. We also had to try hard to forgive, accept each other, and dedicate more time and effort to our family. Now, my husband and I are truly happy, even happier than before he had an affair," Ms. Ngoc expressed.

According to psychologist Nguyen Thi Minh Hoa, when a husband cheats, each woman reacts differently, but generally falls into two groups:

Group one: Those who self-harm. They might lock themselves away crying, complaining, refusing to eat or sleep, or harbor resentment towards their husbands, interrogating them, searching for evidence, or engaging in jealous confrontations...

The second group: Finding joy for themselves again. Many people often go through the stages of the first group before reaching this stage. They may proactively communicate with their partner to find the cause of the breakdown, find solutions for the family, and focus on self-care, enhancing their self-worth, and interacting with more people.

In reality, many people have saved their marriages after the storm of infidelity by finding joy for themselves. Perhaps this action has awakened husbands to the fact that wives are not "cold meals" always waiting for them, and that they can lose their families if they don't know how to nurture them.

However, psychologists argue that this tactic is a double-edged sword, because if taken to extremes, such as the wife also having an affair, or deliberately beautifying herself just to tease her husband, it can be the "last straw." Or even worse, when the husband returns home, wanting to keep his wife, he might become consumed by jealousy and suspicion.

"Taking care of yourself, not just in terms of appearance but also knowledge, and finding healthy hobbies are positive things every woman should do. Don't wait until your family is in trouble or your husband goes astray to do them. Maintain these things from the beginning to keep yourself attractive and refresh the relationship. Absolutely do not cheat to get revenge," Ms. Hoa shared.

According to marriage and family counselor Le Hang (Ho Chi Minh City), when deciding to rebuild a marriage after an affair, couples need to learn to share openly and honestly with each other about everything. Most importantly, both partners must build trust and learn to forgive, because after all, infidelity has left deep scars and caused emotional pain to those involved.

According to VNE