Should children be disciplined with corporal punishment?

"I don't condone parents hitting their children, but I empathize with what they did, because what they did happened to me," reader Bang Nguyen shared.

On September 12, 2014, America was shocked to see the 4-year-old child of Andrian Peterson, a famous football player for the Vikings, being beaten. Andrian was subsequently arrested in Montgomery, Texas. His arrest was not for child abuse, as some mistakenly believed. He was arrested for beating his child beyond acceptable limits, constituting child abuse.

In all 50 US states, parental corporal punishment is still considered legal, but within permitted limits. For example, in Delaware, parents are allowed to spank their children with a certain type of soft rod, and this can only be used when spanking; hitting with hands or feet is not permitted. In Louisiana, spanking with hands is allowed, but only in appropriate circumstances and without endangering the child's health.

In Texas, hitting a child and leaving bruises or bleeding is considered child abuse. While parents have the legal right to spank their children in 50 states, principals are permitted to spank students in 19 states, but only with a ruler on the buttocks, and no more than five times.

While in the US the law permits corporal punishment, in Vietnam, hitting children was perhaps commonplace in the past, or teachers hitting students was not unusual. I once read an article condemning parents for beating their children until their bottoms were bruised, or teachers for hitting students, and many comments demanded that those parents or teachers be imprisoned.

In the state of Louisiana (USA), spanking is permitted, but only in appropriate circumstances and without endangering the child's health. (Illustrative image.)

I myself don't condone parents hitting their children, but I empathize with what they did because what they did happened to me too. Thirty-five years ago, it was very common for parents to beat their children with sticks, brooms, and chains, and my family was no exception. When I was very young, I saw my father beat my brothers with electrical wires whenever they misbehaved. Each lash would leave my brothers' skin bleeding. When I grew up, it happened to me too. Only then did I understand how painful it was.

The marks left by the electrical wires, after a long time, turned into sores that hurt even more. During the time I was beaten, I was very angry with my family and parents. The more they beat me, the more stubborn and unruly I became. The first time I was beaten, I cried a lot, but later I stopped crying and gritted my teeth, showing my father that even if they beat me, I would still misbehave. It was the same at school; every time the teachers hit my hands with a ruler, I would show my friends that I wasn't afraid of the punishment.

When I was growing up and had a conversation with my father, I asked him why he used electrical wires to beat us. He replied that beating us with wires only caused superficial injuries, not internal ones. Then I asked why he had to beat us, why he didn't find a better way to discipline us. He asked me what I would do if I were in his situation.

I sat and thought back to the time when my parents had to go out selling goods from early morning until late at night to raise six young children. Every day, when they came home, the neighbors would complain about all sorts of things. One day they'd get into a fight with this kid, the next day they'd break someone's roof tiles and have to pay for the damage, a few days later they'd play soccer and break the glass cabinet next door, not to mention leading groups to cause trouble and fight in other neighborhoods. At first, they'd scold them, but it didn't help, and when it became unbearable, using a cane became a temporary solution.

The more I think about that time, the more I love my father. I wish I hadn't been so rebellious and disruptive, if only I had been more obedient, then I wouldn't have gotten beaten, and my father wouldn't have had to hit us like that. I also sympathize with the teachers who have to take care of over 40 unruly students every day; the accumulated stress and frustration are inevitable. Some teachers just sit and cry, while others resort to corporal punishment.

Neither we, as Vietnamese nor as Americans, condone the abuse and beating of children, but we should also avoid being harsh towards parents or teachers when they make mistakes. If Vietnamese law were as clear as American law, child abuse would significantly decrease.

According to VNE