Should children be taught by beating?

"I don't agree with parents beating their children, but I sympathize with what they did, because what they did happened to me," reader Bang Nguyen shared.

On September 12, 2014, America was shocked to see the 4-year-old son of Andrian Peterson, a famous football player for the Vikings, being beaten. Andrian was then arrested in Montgomery, Texas. Andrian's arrest was not for beating his child as some people mistakenly thought. Andrian was arrested for beating his child beyond the limit and becoming a crime of child abuse.

In all 50 states of the United States, it is still legal for parents to spank their children, but within certain limits. For example, in Delaware, parents are allowed to spank their children with a soft stick, and this can only be used when spanking, not using hands or feet. In Louisiana, spanking with the hand is allowed, but only in appropriate circumstances and without endangering the child's health.

In Texas, if you hit your child and it leaves a bruise or blood mark, you are guilty of child abuse. While parents are legally allowed to hit their children in all 50 states, it is legal for principals to hit students in 19 states, but teachers are only allowed to hit their bottoms with a ruler and no more than five times.

If in America the law allows beating children, then in Vietnam, beating children has probably become a common practice, or teachers beating students is not unusual. I once read an article condemning parents for beating their children or teachers for beating students, and many comments demanded that the parents or teachers be imprisoned.

In the state of Louisiana (USA), physical spanking is allowed but only in appropriate circumstances and without endangering the child's health. Illustrative photo.

I myself do not agree with parents beating their children, but I sympathize with what they did, because what they did happened to me. 35 years ago, it was very normal for parents to beat their children with sticks, brooms, and chains, and my family was no exception. When I was very young, I saw my father beat my brothers with electric wires whenever they made mistakes. Every time he hit me, my brothers' flesh bled. When I grew up, the same thing happened to me. Only now do I feel how painful it is.

The marks left by the electric wire became scabs over time and became even more painful. During the time I was beaten, I was very angry with my family and parents. The more I was beaten, the more stubborn and unruly I became. The first time I was beaten, I cried a lot, but later on, I stopped crying and gritted my teeth to show my father that even if I was beaten, I would still cause trouble. When I was at school, every time the teacher used a ruler to hit my hand, I pretended in front of my friends that I was not afraid of being beaten.

When I grew up and had a chance to sit and talk with my father, I asked him why he used an electric wire to beat us like that. My father replied that beating us with an electric wire only caused external injuries, not internal injuries. Then I asked him why he had to beat us, why didn't he find a better way to teach us? My father asked me again, if I were in his situation, what would I do?

I sat and thought back to the time when my parents had to go out to sell goods from early morning to late at night to raise 6 small children. Every day after selling, the neighbors would tell on them all sorts of things. Today they would fight with this guy, tomorrow they would break a roof tile and have to pay for it, a few days later they would play soccer and break the glass cabinet next door, not to mention taking a group to another neighborhood to cause trouble and fight. At first, they scolded them but it didn't get any better, then when it got too much to bear, using a whip was a temporary solution.

The more I think about that time, the more I love my father. I wish I hadn't been so naughty and mischievous, if I had been more obedient, I wouldn't have been beaten and my father wouldn't have had to beat us like that. And I also sympathize with the teachers who have to take care of more than 40 naughty students every day, it's natural to be depressed every day until they can't control themselves. Some teachers just sit there and cry, but some teachers use physical punishment.

Whether we are Vietnamese or American, we do not agree with the abuse of children, but we should not look at a parent or teacher harshly when they make a mistake. If Vietnamese law were applied as clearly as American law, child abuse would be significantly reduced.

According to VNE