Raising children in the digital age

In recent months, there have been a series of shocking incidents: groups of teenagers engaging in knife fights at night, high-speed street racing, and disturbing public order; students ganging up on classmates and posting videos online to "gain credit"; and even some students forming secret groups and encouraging friends to isolate others as a form of entertainment.

These deviant behaviors not only demonstrate a decline in legal awareness but also reflect a significant gap in character development. And behind this, a troubling question arises: Where were we adults during these children's upbringing?

Never before has the world of children been as open as it is today. A smartphone is enough to take them everywhere, allowing them to access every trend and every corner of life. But that world is also full of pitfalls. When value is measured by views, when attention becomes the measure of fame, when online language is filled with violence and sarcasm, children easily lose sight of true values. At an age when they should be learning to listen and be considerate, many children learn to "create trends," "show off," and use violence to prove themselves and attract attention.

Sadly, in those images, we see glimpses of adults, because these children weren't born aggressive. They imitate the adults themselves – those who are glued to their phones during meals, ready to argue and hurl harsh judgments online, or hastily idolize and glorify glamorous KOLs… When adults live fast-paced, impulsive, and superficial lives, children learn the same spirit. A society that is increasingly noisy, with little listening, much debate but a lack of genuine dialogue, is precisely the environment that fosters lonely children. And perhaps, loneliness is fertile ground for violence to sprout?

We've talked a lot about holistic education, about investing in good schools, excellent teachers, modern skills, and confident foreign language abilities for integration. But amidst these meticulously planned "child-rearing projects," we sometimes forget the most fundamental thing: teaching our children to be decent human beings.

Being a kind person isn't about knowing a lot or speaking eloquently, but about knowing how to love others, feeling ashamed when you do wrong, and knowing when to stop before hurting someone. Today, many parents want their children to succeed and be superior, but who will teach them how to lose without shame, how to yield without weakness, and how to live humbly without being卑劣 (base/mean)? A child who only focuses on learning how to win and how to finish early is at risk of resorting to violence – verbally or physically – to gain the upper hand.

The digital world isn't inherently bad. Social media, video games, artificial intelligence... are all products of progress. What's important is how we help children confront them. Instead of fear or prohibition, adults need to support them by teaching them to be selective, to think critically, and to set boundaries. Parents can't prevent their children from seeing the world, but they can give them "mental immunity"—compassion, self-respect, and the ability to distinguish right from wrong. These are values ​​that can't be applied to exams or converted into grades, but they are the strongest shields to help children stand firm in this turbulent era.

The relationship between children and their families has never been more fragile. In many homes, mealtimes are devoid of laughter; instead, they are filled with the sounds of announcements, messages, and indifferent nods. When parents lose the patience to listen, children no longer feel the need to share. An invisible distance forms, and sometimes, with just a click, these young souls will turn to the crowds in the virtual world for validation.

Perhaps what children today need most isn't the latest smartphone, but an adult willing to sit down with them; not an extra set of skills, but a genuine conversation. A hug, a thank you, a trusting glance… these seemingly small things have a saving power, because they make children feel loved and respected. And when they are loved, children will learn to love others.

Raising children to be good people in the digital age is essentially a journey of preserving their humanity amidst the vast ocean of technology. Laws can punish wrongdoing, but only love and character can prevent the evil that lurks at its root. Because ultimately, no matter how times change, a child raised in love will never resort to violence to assert themselves. And perhaps, in the journey of raising children, adults themselves are also being retaught how to be good people.