What should I do when my husband disrespects my whole family?

I've moved back to my parents' house because I'm so upset by my husband's insults and constant bringing up of past events to criticize me.

I am 30 years old, my husband is two years older than me, and we have a 4-year-old daughter. Our combined monthly income is 30 million VND. We currently live with my husband's parents. My husband is extremely short-tempered and very concerned with saving face. When he's wrong, even a slight frown or slightly raised voice from me is enough to get him reprimanded. During conflicts and arguments, he readily uses foul language and curses. He has even hit me twice in the past five years of our marriage.

I'm meticulous, a perfectionist, and a bit competitive, which led to constant conflicts and arguments between my husband and me. There was a time when we argued 3-4 times a week, which was exhausting. I was noticing my husband was less hot-headed and more self-controlled lately, but then something happened. I fell off my motorbike, scraped my face, and it was swollen, so I couldn't eat rice. I asked my husband to ask his mother to make porridge for me. His mother forgot to make it, saying she thought I could eat rice, which made me a little sad, but I didn't show it. I still fed the baby rice and then went to lie down to rest.

The next morning, I went to the phone repair shop a few steps from home to get my phone fixed. On my way back, I saw my mother-in-law talking to the maid in front of the door. She looked grumpy and was talking loudly and aggressively about something, so I walked past, thinking it wasn't appropriate to interrupt. A little later, when I went downstairs, my mother-in-law was angry and scolded me for coming home without greeting her, saying that was wrong. I explained that I only went to the phone shop a few steps away, not far, and that I thought she was in the middle of a conversation and didn't look happy, so I didn't want to interrupt. My mother-in-law said she had just returned from the market, and that I should have greeted her at the door. I was in pain, my face and limbs aching, and she didn't seem to care, only nitpicking, so I blurted out, "You're being too harsh on me, Mom."

The story reached my husband, and we argued. When he heard I'd called his mother difficult, he flew into a rage, calling me "my aunt," and brought up the recent Lunar New Year when we gave each of my paternal grandparents 500,000 dong but my maternal grandmother 1,000,000 dong. I said my father had passed away, and since only my mother was left, I should give her double the amount. Then he dug up a whole bunch of old, distant stories. There's a single uncle who's been dating my mother for years, and he gives my child New Year's money every year. This year, my mother and the uncle officially introduced themselves to the family, so I gave him 500,000 dong last year (I didn't give him any in previous years). But my husband got furious, saying we should give him and my mother almost double the amount we gave his parents. I said that even though they gave us money, it's better for them to give our child something in return; there's nothing to lose. Then he yelled and cursed at me.

Normally, my husband isn't petty, but when he gets angry, he curses and brings up old issues. Last time, he insulted my mother, which made my uncle a little angry. He briefly greeted my uncle, but he remained silent. My husband brought that up again. He even accused my mother of fraud. He said we almost broke up because of his disrespectful behavior (partly due to my suspicion and jealousy). I wanted to postpone the wedding, but my mother said it was either we get married or we break up, no postponement. In a fit of anger about a year ago, he accused my mother of fraud and forcing us into marriage. We argued loudly, and my mother-in-law intervened; otherwise, my husband would have attacked me and tried to slap me.

My husband is also quite good to me and the children. He gives me money to manage, we spend frugally, he helps with housework (cleaning, taking out the trash, scrubbing the bathroom, folding clothes...), he takes us out to eat, he gives us gifts on anniversaries, and he even checks on me and buys food when I'm sick. My mother-in-law is also good because she goes to the market, prepares meals, bathes the grandchildren, and feeds them since my husband and I come home quite late from work. Therefore, he feels very sorry for and defends his mother.

I know I was wrong to my mother-in-law, but I'm upset because my husband gets angry and swears, curses, or insults others at the slightest provocation. This is the second time he's called my mother a fraud. Last time he apologized and promised not to do it again, but after only a year he did it again. He even called me stupid and said I didn't know how to behave. When I told him not to look down on his wife, he said I looked down on his whole family. Now I've left to stay with my parents because I'm so upset by his insults and his constant bringing up of past events in a womanly way. Should I get a divorce? Please give me some advice soon.

According to VNE