Want to go too far but boyfriend doesn't agree

After getting drunk, I suggested he go too far. He agreed, but when he was about to cross the line, he suddenly woke up and quickly put my clothes on.

I am a Hanoi girl, 19 years old, quite pretty, well-off family. He is a guy from the Southeast, the same age as me, normal looking, not as well-off as mine. I don't mean to brag, just to let everyone understand more. We met each other in the summer of my 7th grade year, when he went to Hanoi to play. He stayed at his relatives' house but one day he got lost and didn't know the way home and met me. I helped him get home and we've known each other since then. During the next 2 years, we still kept in touch online like two close friends, he had a very attractive and clever way of talking, understood other people's psychology and I gradually developed feelings for him.

At the beginning of 10th grade, he started flirting with me. Although I had feelings for him, it took me a while to accept it. We dated for 5 days, one from the South, the other from the North, so we didn't have many conflicts. On the 6th day, he said he wanted to break up because he didn't understand why I loved him. He didn't stand out from the other boys around me. I agreed to break up after 2 days of thinking on the condition that we kept in touch. No one knew about our relationship, including my family and friends, because my family and his were both quite conservative, forbidding love affairs to focus on studying. After breaking up, he and I still kept in touch and talked, I felt that he still loved me.

From then on, we met more often, sometimes he went to Hanoi to visit me, sometimes I went to the South to visit him. Our trips just kept getting more frequent (of course, lying to my family). Regarding money, he was very clear, when he went out with me, he only used the money he earned, the money his parents gave him was for food and study. He was very ambitious, working hard since grade 11 to earn money to visit and take me out. He loved backpacking, so we traveled almost all over Vietnam. Things continued like that until we went to university, he passed the entrance exam to a famous school in Ho Chi Minh City, and I also went to university in Hanoi, every now and then we arranged time to visit each other and go out.

Last March, my family created conditions for me to study abroad. I was very afraid of leaving him because I loved him too much but could not refuse my family. Before leaving, I visited him and said I wanted to get back together and make our relationship public, but he did not agree. He said he was afraid of long-distance relationships, afraid of betrayal, afraid that I would not come back. He said that if I came back after finishing school or if he went there, we would officially make it public. Hearing him say that, I was very sad but also hopeful, very afraid of his fears.

The day I boarded the plane, he dropped out of school and work to see me off like two close friends. Around mid-May, I snuck back to Vietnam to visit him. He was very surprised and I could feel the joy in his eyes. The following days, I rented a house in Ho Chi Minh City and cooked for him. One day, I invited him to drink, and because I was too drunk, I suggested that he go too far. He agreed, but when he was about to cross the line, he seemed to wake up and hurriedly put on my clothes. He apologized and explained that it was not the right time, that we were still young and had nothing, and that he was afraid that if I got pregnant, I would suffer.

Then he said something that made me very sad, he said that we might not be together in the future.

According to VNE