The person who plays the decisive role in Thai marriages.

(Baonghean.vn) -After the wedding, Thais have a custom of thanking the matchmaker, the person who represented the groom in proposing marriage. It can be said that, even today, matchmakers still play a decisive role in the marriages of young couples.

Despite the cold weather and the busy preparations for the new planting season, Mr. Lu Van Can, from Lien Dinh village, Chi Khe commune, Con Cuong district (Nghe An province), still brought his son and daughter-in-law to the house of Mr. Lu Han, a relative, to express his gratitude. A few days earlier, matchmaker Lu Han had a difficult time arranging the wedding for Mr. Lu Van Can's son.

During the ritual of calling the spirits of the bride and groom, held at the matchmaker's house, the bride and groom's clothes are placed together on an offering tray so that the household spirits can recognize them. The Thai people believe that a person's soul resides in their clothes.

According to Thai custom, when preparing to ask for a wife, the son will ask a relative to act as a matchmaker. Naturally, this involves suggestions, and sometimes even intervention, from the parents. The chosen matchmaker must at least be an older brother of the groom and have established a family lineage, as tradition requires both a male and female matchmaker. The chosen matchmaker also usually has both sons and daughters.

After choosing a matchmaker, the groom will bring a bottle of wine to ask them to help with the marriage proposal. If they accept the wine, it is considered a sign of agreement. On the day of the proposal and wedding, the matchmaker and his wife lead the groom's family to the bride's house to handle the procedures. After the wedding, the young couple will regard the matchmaker as their own parents.

The offering tray in the Thai people's soul-calling ceremony is similar to the tray of food in the groom's gratitude ceremony to the matchmakers.

After the wedding ceremony, the groom's family will choose a special day to visit and express their gratitude to the matchmakers. During the ceremony, the matchmakers will present gifts to the new bride and accept her as a member of their family and clan. Also during this ceremony, an offering is placed on the ancestral altar to "report" on the arrival of the new family member. Following this ceremony is a ritual to call back the spirits of the newlywed couple.

For Thai couples, matchmakers are closely associated with each other, especially when marital problems arise; the first people to "resolve" these issues are not the parents but the matchmakers.

The bride has a thread tied around her wrist during the spirit-calling ceremony, and from then on, she is treated like a daughter or granddaughter by the matchmaker's family.

The custom of choosing matchmakers is also seen among the Hmong and Khmu communities in Nghe An. The Hmong even have two matchmakers attending the wedding, acting as the head and deputy head of the delegation. However, the lifelong bond, like that of family members, between the matchmakers and the young couple is only seen among the Thai people.

Huu Vi