These children carry the dreams of adults.

This past week, one of the videos that went viral on Facebook was a talk show about children's education. The talk show featured three mother-daughter pairs, all 11-year-olds in 5th grade. The topic discussed in the talk show isn't new, but it's always a hot topic every year: the pressure of studying and exams weighing heavily on children. The talk show was structured as a live question-and-answer session between mothers and daughters. Many of the conversations were particularly disturbing.

- What do I need to do to become a good person?

Yes, I need to study hard.

- What should I do to excel in my studies?

Yes, I study a lot.

In another mother-son pair, the mother told her soccer-loving son that playing sports takes a lot of time, and made a deal: if all his exams got scores of 9 or 10, she would let him play soccer as a reward. These mothers have rather grandiose philosophies for raising their children: The more self-disciplined the child, the more freedom they have; Parents only do what's best for their children; To become successful, children must be able to handle pressure…

Frankly, even adults watching this talk show and listening to the mothers trying to discipline their children feel suffocated. The three children participating in the program never had a grade below 9 on their report cards; their childhoods revolved around endless exams and tests that seemed to never end. Studying became a burden, knowledge an obsession, and they carried this heavy, vague burden forward, towards the glittering, distant future their parents painted: they would be top students, represent their school in competitions, win scholarships to study abroad, and achieve success…

The host asked the mothers: Have you ever asked your children what they really want? After a moment of silence, one mother replied, essentially: Actually, they just say that; at a young age, they think superficially and don't know what's best for them! - So that means even if your child says what they want, you don't seriously listen, right? - the host continued. And this time, there was a long silence…

Once, somewhere on Facebook, in response to the reality of some teenagers suffering from depression due to academic pressure leading to reckless actions, some people exclaimed: "Nowhere is being a child as difficult as in Vietnam!" I think differently. In Vietnam, or anywhere else, there are similar difficulties. No matter what, academic achievement through diplomas remains a standard by which society looks, scrutinizes, praises, and compares people.

Anyone who is a student studying abroad or working for foreign corporations or businesses is familiar with the question: "Which school did you graduate from?"; and feels admired if the answer is a top university from the Ivy League (a group of leading American universities such as Harvard University, Yale University, Princeton University, University of Pennsylvania, Brown University, Columbia University...).

So, returning to the point above, whether we like it or not, education and qualifications are highly valued by society in general, opening up many favorable choices for the future. Therefore, the pressure of studying and exams unconsciously weighs heavily on every family, every parent, and every child. Every child is the hope of their parents, family, and lineage, so to keep that hope burning brightly, everyone focuses on nurturing, worrying about, and guiding the child's future, ensuring they receive a proper education and acquire the necessary qualifications to face life's challenges. Education thus becomes a fierce race, with the child – the athlete on the track – running headlong without even understanding where the finish line is or what the goal is. Children tirelessly run because their parents say it's the only way to ensure a happy future, but what about the present – ​​millions of moments buried in books, forgetting the joys of childhood? Are they truly happy then?

“No, I don’t feel happy, not happy at all!” – the 11-year-old child replied to the talk show host. “I don’t want to go to a prestigious school; that’s what my mother wants.” The mother was astonished by her child’s response. “So what do you want?” – “I want to learn and play at the same time. I know learning is important, but playing is just as important, Mom. Many games teach us lessons, Mom. And I want you to listen to me more.”

Listening more seems to be the key to resolving all of life's tangled problems. Listening to children isn't as difficult as we think, if we truly listen with respect for differences, thereby finding harmonious solutions to all issues. Listening is the source of shedding burdens, so that learning becomes a joyful experience of acquiring new knowledge, not a source of pressure and fear. Listening is also the first step towards equal exchange, so that we don't hastily dismiss our children's desires and so that parents can express their own. May this listening and understanding exist in every family, so that the small shoulders of children don't bend under the weight of their parents' grand dreams, but instead they can truly stand tall and walk forward on the path of knowledge with their own aspirations, based on the loving support and guidance of their parents.