I helped my wife get over her affair.

Every day I hold my wife, engage her in activities with the children, without any mention or conditions.

My story happened a long time ago, now I want to tell it again, maybe it will help many other couples who are facing the same storms as we have experienced. My wife is a beautiful, charming, elegant woman and a very good student. When she was in high school or university, she was always the focus of many men's pursuit. When she went to work, she held important positions in a large foreign corporation with a good income. I am also a successful man, ambitious, responsible and very loving to my wife and children. Life was a bit difficult at first because we started with nothing, she chose me because of love.

When I married a beautiful wife, some congratulated me, others said I would be at risk, but I simply followed my heart. Living together for more than 10 years, my wife only knew about her husband and children, from food to clothing, she was in charge of everything, took care of me when I was sick, and I was pampered by her. Being smart, she was also by my side in every step of my career, staying up all night with me when I defended my thesis, then anxiously waiting for my successes. Life went on like that, somewhere there were still men constantly approaching her, and I fell asleep in happiness thinking that being husband and wife, why do we need to keep each other, only wives keep their husbands, but husbands rarely have to keep their wives. I also forgot the pressure of work and sick children that she had to endure every day and thought that all women were like that.

At one point, I saw that my wife was very tired, often said that she was lonely, told me that I didn't care much about her, and that sex was rare, once every few months. My wife was worried, felt sorry for herself, and gave suggestions, even cried, but I listened a few times and then ignored it because I still had work and many things to worry about. My wife became quieter, shared less, and I was completely indifferent to her feelings for a long time. Then I was shocked to learn that she was having an affair. The matter was more complicated, the other man also had a position in society, truly loved my wife, was willing to marry her, and wanted to accept both of our children.

She was very tormented, not wanting to give up the family. At that time, my wife was weak, easily cried and tired all the time. Although I was too shocked, I left for two days and faced myself, asking myself a few questions. Temporarily putting aside the issue of children, I thought about whether I still loved my wife? Was she a good wife before? The answer was “Yes” for both. Was she a flirt in her blood? No. If I called my close friends to ask for advice, they would definitely advise me to leave her immediately, there are many young girls, why endure the humiliation of being cuckolded, some of them would be cruel, I would be more confused. If I talked to my parents and both families, it would make the matter bigger and more complicated, because many people would intervene, there would be many rumors, my wife would become a scapegoat, she would have to explain and defend herself against all accusations. That way my wife would be hurt more and I would block all her escape routes.

By the way, I see many wives who loudly spread their husband's story from one village to another, both families and relatives know, and all their friends and colleagues know, then perhaps it will only push their husbands further away. If I only hold grudges, feel sad, and accuse her with all kinds of bad words, if I force her to admit her guilt and apologize, it will only satisfy my ego and not solve the root cause (When I was too shocked by the news, I pushed her down very hard, and after that I did not feel any happier). Calm down, I cannot blame my wife for being beautiful; I cannot blame men outside for admiring my wife's voice, smile, or kindness and humor because I once loved those characteristics passionately.

I suddenly remembered my best friend who said that beautiful or ugly wives can both cheat. Some shepherds revealed that seducing ugly wives is even easier because they rarely hear the flirting of men. Except for women who truly keep their minds, some who always loudly teach others about morality, may be among those who have not cheated because they do not have the conditions, or no man pays attention to them. But my wife is not a saint. I made a plan and tried to stay sober at that time. I went home, did not say much, still hugged my wife, wiped her tears and felt sorry when she struggled, tormented, and became thin, perhaps she also had some feelings for that man. But why should I avoid or fear her, the one who has been with me through all those long and difficult years, because of the noise, disturbance and provocation of society?

Every day I hugged my wife, connected her to activities with the children, absolutely did not mention and did not set any conditions. Later, my wife said she was extremely surprised by my behavior, I was the shield that protected and helped her gradually wake up, she said she was infinitely grateful to me and was completely convinced of her husband. Up to now, absolutely no one from both families knows about the matter, and it is not necessary because life is ours, it is up to us, and we have to solve it ourselves. 8 more years have passed since that stormy, painful day, we are together again, stronger and more passionate than before; the children have grown up. We do not use the children as an excuse to continue living and tolerating each other, but we both truly live for each other first. I hope husbands will be alert and temporarily forget the disturbances of society, the prejudices against women, to find a way to handle things depending on their circumstances and feelings. I wish you happiness.

According to VNE