I helped my wife get over her infidelity.
Every day I hug my wife, engage her in activities with the children, and absolutely never mention or set any conditions for her.
My story happened a long time ago, and I want to share it now, hoping it might help other couples facing similar challenges we once experienced. My wife was a beautiful, charming, elegant, and academically gifted woman. Throughout high school and college, she was always the center of attention for many men. When she started working, she held important positions in a large foreign corporation with a good income. I was also a successful, ambitious, responsible man who deeply loved my wife and children. Life was difficult at first because we started from nothing; she chose me for love.
When I married a beautiful woman, some congratulated me, others warned of risks, but I simply followed my heart. We've been married for over 10 years, and my wife has only cared for me and our children. She's taken care of everything, from meals to clothing, and looked after me when I was sick. She spoiled me completely. Intelligent by nature, she stood by me throughout my career, staying up late with me during my thesis defenses, and anxiously awaiting my successes. Life went on, and other men continued to approach her. I became complacent, thinking that since we were married, there was no need to hold onto each other; only wives need to hold onto their husbands, not wives. I also forgot about the daily pressures of work and the children's illnesses she endured, assuming that all women are the same.
At one point, I noticed my wife was very tired, often saying she felt lonely, that I didn't pay enough attention to her, and that our intimacy had become infrequent, only happening once every few months. She was worried, felt hurt, and even complained, sometimes crying, but I listened a few times and then ignored it because I had work and so many other things to worry about. She became quieter, less communicative, and I completely ignored her feelings for a long time. Then I was shocked to find out she was having an affair. The situation was more complicated; the other man also had a respectable position in society, genuinely loved my wife, was willing to marry her, and wanted to accept both of our children.
She was tormented, unwilling to leave her family. During that time, my wife was weak, easily moved to tears, and constantly exhausted. Despite the shock, I left for two days to confront the situation and ask myself a few questions. Putting aside the children for a moment, I considered whether I still loved my wife. Was she a good wife before? The answer was "Yes" for both of us. Was she inherently promiscuous? No. If I called my close friends for advice, they would surely advise me to leave immediately, saying there are plenty of young women, why endure the humiliation of being cheated on? Some would be harsh, and I would be even more confused. If I talked to my parents and both families, it would only make things bigger and more complicated, with more people interfering, more gossip, and my wife would become a scapegoat. She would have to explain herself and defend herself against all accusations. This would hurt her even more, and I would be blocking all her escape routes.
By the way, I've noticed many wives loudly recounting their husbands' affairs to everyone in the village, both families and relatives knowing about it, and even colleagues and friends. This probably only pushes the husband further away. If you only harbor resentment, bitterness, and condemn her with all sorts of nasty words, if you force her to confess and apologize, it only satisfies your own ego and doesn't solve the root cause (When I was so shocked by the news, I pushed her down very hard, and afterwards I didn't feel any better). Calming down, I can't blame my wife because she's beautiful; I can't blame other men for being attracted to her voice, smile, or her kind and humorous nature because I once fell madly in love with those qualities.
I suddenly remembered my best friend saying that both beautiful and ugly wives can cheat. Some guys who "hunt" for wives revealed that it's even easier to seduce unattractive wives because they rarely listen to men's flirtatious advances. Except for those women who truly maintain their composure, some who always lecture others about morality might be among those who haven't cheated yet because they haven't had the opportunity, or no man has paid attention to them. And my wife isn't a saint. I planned and tried to stay calm at that moment. I went home, didn't say much, still hugged my wife, wiped away her tears, and felt sorry for her struggling, tormented, and emaciated; perhaps she also had some feelings for the other man. But why should I, because of the noise, disturbances, and criticisms of society, distance myself from or fear her, the woman who has been by my side through all those long, difficult years?
Every day I hugged my wife, engaging her in activities with the children, never mentioning or setting any conditions. Later, my wife said she was extremely surprised by my behavior; I was the shield that protected her and helped her gradually recover. She said she was infinitely grateful to me and completely respected me. Neither family knows about it to this day, and it's not necessary because it's our life, ours to manage, and we should resolve it ourselves. Eight years have passed since that stormy, painful day, and we are together again, stronger and more loving than before; our children have grown up. We don't use our children as an excuse to continue living and enduring each other; we truly live for each other first and foremost. I hope husbands will be clear-headed and temporarily forget the turmoil of society and the prejudices against women, so that depending on their circumstances and feelings, they can choose the right course of action. I wish you all happiness.
According to VNE
