Responsibility for building a home

(Baonghean) - Women need to have their own time and space to develop themselves according to their abilities, without having to worry about being distracted from the work of building a home. Because that is also the responsibility of Vietnamese men.

Last week, the second debate between the two US presidential candidates, Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton, took place. One of the topics discussed was the assault on women, specifically sexual assault. The issue was raised because a few days before, an old video of Donald Trump participating in a reality TV show was leaked. And in this video, Donald Trump made many vulgar comments about women, such as being able to hug, touch and seduce women when he was a rich man.

2 US presidential candidates.

The billionaire candidate had previously posted a status on his Twitter (personal website), saying that if Hilary could not satisfy her husband, how could she satisfy the needs of the American people, referring to the affair scandal between Bill Clinton and his intern secretary in 1998. Along with inviting to this second debate the women who had previously accused Bill Clinton of sexual harassment, Trump showed that he wanted to use the discord in Clinton's family as a weapon to attack his opponent, even though this was a political forum.

The above thoughts of Donald Trump do not represent the United States, but also show that there are streams of thought that, when a marriage breaks down and the fault lies with the husband, the woman, instead of being sympathized with, becomes the target of criticism for not knowing how to maintain family happiness. America is a civilized country, but women who want to develop their careers like Mrs. Hilary still face such irony and contempt, so how much more difficult it is for women in East Asian countries.

This debate reminded me of a conversation I had with a Japanese friend in a student discussion when I was studying abroad in Japan. We raised the issue of each individual's dreams and desires regarding career orientation and life. Regarding career orientation, my friend shared with me that she wanted to become a political and social activist to build a peaceful society and a clean environment for future generations. When asked about her personal dreams, she also said that she did not have any big dreams, she just wanted to be a housewife who took good care of her husband and children.

She asked me if there was any contradiction between the two desires above, if in the future she could achieve both of them. I sympathized with her that this is very difficult in Japanese society, and also in my country Vietnam. Our two countries have in common the Confucian cultural foundation, where the role of women is limited to the kitchen. The concept of “Men build houses, women build homes” holds that a man’s success is having a career and money, a woman’s success is a happy family.

Caricature. Internet

After marriage, Japanese women often quit their jobs to stay at home as housewives, thus losing the opportunity to interact with society in a variety of ways, as well as the opportunity to develop their careers and personal finances. Vietnamese women, I don’t know if they are luckier or unluckier than Japanese women, they continue to work like their husbands. I say luck because they can continue to develop their careers, and often develop them excellently.

There is no exact statistical data, but from the writer's personal experience, just looking at Japanese enterprises in Vietnam, Japanese managers are prioritizing female workers more than men. They see in female workers diligence, carefulness, better foreign language skills, and long-term loyalty to the enterprise.

Unfortunately, in addition to still having to go to work like men, their housework load is still the same as that of Japanese housewives, still having the same responsibility of taking care of their husbands and children. It can be said that they are working with 200% of their strength.

Billionaire Bill Gates recently said that he likes to wash dishes because it helps him relieve work pressure and stimulates creativity. I think that in addition to that reason, he also washes dishes partly because of his responsibility as a family member. Because his wife, Melinda, is also very busy managing the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, the world's largest private foundation specializing in improving health care and reducing poverty.

The issue of liberating women from the unfair responsibilities of family life is not a new one. There has been progress in Vietnam, where we are ranked 6th out of 15 countries in the Asia-Pacific region in the Progress of Women Index, but we all want to see a change happen more quickly, especially in the areas of business leadership and political participation.

Women need to have their own time and space to develop themselves according to their abilities, without worrying about being distracted from the work of building a home. Because that is also the responsibility of Vietnamese men.

Vu Tuan Tu