The responsibility of building a home.

(Baonghean) - Women need to have their own time and space to develop themselves according to their abilities, without worrying about being distracted from building a family. Because that is also the responsibility of Vietnamese men.

Last week, the second debate between the two US presidential candidates, Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton, took place. One of the topics debated was the issue of assault against women, specifically sexual assault. This issue was raised because a few days earlier, an old video of Donald Trump participating in a reality TV show had been leaked. In this video, Donald Trump made many vulgar comments about women, such as claiming he could hug, kiss, grope, and seduce women because he was wealthy.

Two US presidential candidates.

The billionaire candidate had previously posted a tweet saying that if Hilary Clinton couldn't satisfy her husband, how could she possibly satisfy the needs of the American people, alluding to the 1998 affair between Bill Clinton and his intern secretary. By inviting the women who had previously accused Bill Clinton of sexual harassment to this second debate, Trump demonstrated his intention to use the Clinton family's past discord as a weapon against his opponent, even though this was a political forum.

Donald Trump's above opinion doesn't represent the United States, but it does reveal a prevailing mindset that, when a marriage breaks down and the fault lies with the husband, the woman, instead of receiving sympathy, becomes the target of criticism for failing to maintain family happiness. If, in a civilized country like America, women who want to advance their careers, like Hilary, face such sarcasm and ridicule, imagine how much more difficult it must be for women in East Asian countries.

This discussion reminded me of a conversation I had with my Japanese friend during a student discussion when I was studying in Japan. We talked about individual dreams and aspirations regarding career paths and life. Regarding career aspirations, she shared that she wanted to become a political and social activist to build a peaceful society and a healthy environment for future generations. When asked about her personal dreams, she said she didn't have any grand aspirations, just wanted to be a housewife who takes good care of her husband and children.

She asked me if there was a contradiction between her two desires, and whether she could achieve both in the future. I empathized with her, understanding that this is very difficult in Japanese society, and also in my own country, Vietnam. Our two countries share a common Confucian cultural foundation, where the role of women is limited to the kitchen. The notion of "Men build houses, women build homes" suggests that a man's success is defined by his career and wealth, while a woman's success is measured by a warm and harmonious family.

Cartoon. Internet

Japanese women often quit their jobs after marriage to stay home as housewives, thus losing opportunities for diverse social interaction, career development, and personal financial growth. Vietnamese women, I don't know if they are luckier or unluckier than Japanese women, continue to work like their husbands. I say lucky because they are able to continue developing their careers, and often to excel.

While there are no precise statistics, based on the author's personal experience, and considering only Japanese businesses in Vietnam, Japanese managers are increasingly prioritizing female employees over male employees. They see in female workers diligence, meticulousness, better foreign language skills, and a greater loyalty and commitment to the company in the long term.

Unfortunately, besides still having to work like men, their workload remains the same as Japanese housewives, with the same responsibilities of caring for their husbands and children. It could be said that they are working with 200% of their energy.

Billionaire Bill Gates recently said that he enjoys washing dishes because it helps him relieve work stress and stimulates creativity. I think, besides that reason, he also washes dishes partly out of a sense of responsibility as a family member. His wife, Melinda, is also very busy managing the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, the world's largest private charity dedicated to improving healthcare and eradicating poverty.

The issue of liberating women from injustices in family responsibilities is not a new one. Progress has been made in Vietnam, ranking 6th out of 15 countries in the Asia-Pacific region in terms of women's progress, but we all want to see even faster change, particularly in areas such as business leadership and political participation.

Women need to have the time and space to develop themselves according to their abilities, without worrying about being distracted from building a home and family. Because that is also the responsibility of Vietnamese men.

Vu Tuan Tu