If a couple argues, there needs to be art.

Arguing is an art! Arguing is to keep the fire burning, not to destroy it. So some people love each other more after arguing, and some people get hurt because of arguing.

The difference in these consequences lies in whether the words and actions of the people involved are carefully controlled, or have exceeded the alarming boundaries of a marital relationship.

1. Argue to keep the fire burning, not to destroy it.. So, when arguing, the taboo you should avoid is not to dig up the past, not to find fault. Even you yourself do not want others to "look" into your past, let alone your husband. You should speak directly to the issue you want to discuss like that, the argument or quarrel will happen faster and the listener will understand the problem more easily.

2. When arguing, do not use negative language.For example, "You have never cared about your children" or "You always forget important things" are "preemptive" statements that bluntly erase the other person's efforts in building and maintaining family happiness. Comparing your partner to others or making negative judgments about them are also things that should be avoided at all times, because they can easily destroy the harmonious and warm atmosphere in married life. In fact, only when people feel respected and acknowledged by their partner can they learn to respond sincerely.

3. Absolutely avoid involving a "third person" in the matter.All arguments between couples first arise from disagreements between the people involved. So, never say things like: “When we bought a house, my parents didn’t give us a penny”, “My drinking buddies can’t do anything but rely on money”…. Such words unintentionally turn men into passive, opinionless and easily incited people. A British psychologist once analyzed that involving others will make the argument between husband and wife more serious. Keep it a secret from your parents.

4. Never say yes to no.Women, especially housewives, often lose confidence when they are disheveled every day with housework and children, while their husbands dress neatly and interact with beautiful young girls. Their lack of confidence makes them say angry things like: "No matter what you do, I still don't like it!". There should be no such attitude of criticism "from no to yes"...

5. Take a step back to take a step forward.Men love to hear sweet talk, so if you tell your husband the truth or unpleasant memories, he will probably find it hard to listen. Wives, be faithful to the slogan "Winning with softness".

When you are angry with your husband in front of your friends, it is best to hold back, swallow your anger, and then go home and talk about it later. In the above case, if you gently tell your husband and consider yourself the cause of the delay, then after you get home, he will think about your patience. When you are home, you should "take a step forward", he will be grateful because you saved his face in front of the crowd.

6. The secret of 3 “no”.Many couples, after arguing, feel like they have just gone through a tense match and started a long cold war. If it continues like this, how can the problem be solved and how can they sympathize with each other? Psychologists have given the secret of 3 “no” that you should refer to:

- Don't talk about the "other side"! When arguing, couples often criticize with sentences like: "Why do you treat me like that?", "You're still the same old habit!" When talking about each other like that, we unintentionally push the "other side" into a situation where they have to defend themselves, because that is the first natural reaction, and then there will be a counter-attack mentality. And once you have this mentality, you can't give in.

- Don't be indifferent! "If you don't take me out, the more freedom I have!" Wives often say this when they are angry with their husbands. You should stop saying it immediately because it is very provocative, even hurtful to him, and there is a possibility that love will be greatly reduced after saying it.

- Don't interrupt! When wives are angry, they often don't want to listen to what their husbands have to say. If you are like that, you should change this bad habit. When men open their mouths to explain, you should listen to them and especially, be careful not to interrupt. Just interrupt once, and you will not hear him express his opinion again.

7. The Cold War is a dangerous poison.After an argument with their husband, many women treat their partner as invisible, not talking, not texting, not answering the phone. In fact, the cold war in marriage is like a psychological gamble, both sides are waiting for the other to soften and give in first.

However, the price to pay for this choice is more expensive than you think. Stubbornness and pride do not help girls to calm down, but only make their feelings and the other half more disjointed. Experts advise you not to let this situation last because it is not the most effective way to punish anyone, on the contrary, it makes you feel tired, the family atmosphere is heavy, uncomfortable and in the long run it will have a negative impact on the couple's feelings.

Anger and quarrels are spices in married life. Just try to deal with them effectively so that you can understand each other better and cherish the happy moments together more!

Thu Thu (synthesis)