5 sentences that 'kill' your marriage

Marriage is a fragile thing. So let's be careful with it, starting with the way we talk to each other.

There are many things that can threaten the peace of a family: financial pressure, an unfaithful partner, the desire for control, etc. All of these take a lot of effort and time from couples.

However, there is one thing that can change the quality of your marriage almost immediately: the way you talk to each other on a daily basis. If you want to avoid arguments, try to eliminate the following phrases from your vocabulary.

1. You always/never...

Never start a sentence with this phrase, even if you feel like hurling it at your partner. It is a harsh accusation to say to your husband or wife, "You never listen to me," or "You always come home late." In reality, the accusation is not true, it is a product of anger.

Instead of using this phrase, take a deep breath and say something gentler, like: "Sometimes I feel like you're not listening or understanding what I'm saying. Could you pay more attention? It's important to me." Or "I know the overtime is hard on you. It's affecting our family, too. Maybe we should find a way to spend more time together."

illustration

2. "There's a new gym opening. You should sign up now."

This statement carries the weight of a slap, implying that you are unhappy with your partner’s body. Never say anything negative about the body of the person you spend the night cuddling with.

3. If you really love, you would have...

This statement is a trap. It conveys the message that you are selfish for not doing something. In fact, not only do you feel criticized, but you also feel the opposite, that the speaker is selfish because they are demanding and do not consider the other person's feelings.

There could be many reasons why your spouse is not performing the desired behavior. Remember that no one wants to be forced to do something. If it is something that affects both of you, it is better to discuss it and make a joint decision than to demand it in the name of "love".

4. You are a...

This is your partner/confidant/sleeper. Even if you think the insult is deserved, stop. Be more polite. Don't react in arguments, try to avoid it with statements like "I know you didn't mean it that way. Let's talk about this when we're calmer," "That hurt my feelings. When you're ready to talk more respectfully, let's come back to this."

5. "Husband/wife A still does..."

Comparisons create resentment and feelings of inadequacy. Before you say this, remember that this is the person you choose to spend your life with, so love your choice. This does not mean you have to accept your partner's bad habits. However, the way you talk to your partner will give them a sense of peace, and whether they want to be with you or avoid you.

Instead of comparing, you can paraphrase your feelings by saying something like: "You know what makes me feel loved? It's when you help me wash the dishes/help the kids with their homework/give them a bath..."

Marriage is fragile. So be careful with it, starting with the way you talk to each other. Inappropriate tone of voice, using the wrong words or letting anger flare up can hurt a marriage more than we think. F. Burton Howard - a famous American marriage and family expert - said: "If you want something to last forever, treat it differently."

According to Women's Newspaper