5 sentences that 'kill' your marriage

Marriage is a fragile thing. So let's be careful with it, starting with the way we talk to each other.

There are many things that can threaten the peace of a family: financial pressure, an unfaithful partner, a desire for control, etc. All of these take a lot of effort and time from couples.

However, there is one thing that can change the quality of your marriage almost immediately: the way you talk to each other on a daily basis. If you want to avoid arguments, try to eliminate the following phrases from your vocabulary.

1. You always/never...

Never start a sentence with this phrase, even if you feel like hurling it at your spouse. It is a harsh accusation to say to your husband or wife, "You never listen to me," or "You always come home late." In reality, the accusation is not true, it is just a product of anger.

Instead of using this phrase, take a deep breath and say something gentler, like, "Sometimes I feel like you're not listening or understanding what I'm saying. Could you pay more attention? That's important to me." Or, "I know the extra hours are hard on you. It's affecting our family. Maybe we should find a way to spend more time together."

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2. "There's a new gym opening. You should sign up now."

This statement carries the weight of a slap, implying that you are unhappy with your partner’s body. Never say anything negative about the body of the person you spend the night cuddling with.

3. If you really love, you would...

This statement is a trap. It conveys the message that you are selfish for not doing something. In fact, not only does the listener feel criticized, but the opposite is true, that the speaker is the selfish one because they are demanding and do not consider the other person's feelings.

There could be many reasons why your husband or wife is not performing the desired behavior. Remember that no one wants to be forced to do something. If it is something that affects both of you, it is better to discuss it and make a decision together than to demand it in the name of "love".

4. You are a...

This is your spouse/confidant/spouse. Even if you think the insult is deserved, stop. Behave in a more respectful manner. Don't react in arguments, try to avoid it with statements like "I know you didn't mean it that way. Let's talk about it when we're calmer," "That hurt my feelings. When you're ready to talk more respectfully, let's come back to this topic."

5. "Husband/wife A still does..."

Comparisons create resentment and feelings of inadequacy. Before you say this, remember that this is the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, so love your choice. This doesn’t mean you have to accept your partner’s bad habits. However, how you say it to your partner will give them a sense of peace, whether they want to be with you or avoid you.

Instead of comparing, you can paraphrase your feelings by saying something like: "You know what makes me feel loved? It's when you help me wash the dishes/help the kids with their homework/give them a bath..."

Marriage is a fragile thing. So be careful with it, starting with the way you talk to each other. Inappropriate tone of voice, using the wrong words, or letting anger flare up can hurt a marriage more than we think. F. Burton Howard - a famous American marriage and family expert - said: "If you want something to last forever, treat it differently."

According to Women's Newspaper