6 things daughters-in-law should avoid saying to their mother-in-law

1. I don't know, you tell my husband.

Perhaps you do not like to listen to or do not agree with some advice or intention from your mother-in-law, so you want to redirect everything to your husband. But it may not be reasonable for you to try to drag your husband into the conversation between you and your mother-in-law to replace you. Because this will only make your mother-in-law feel frustrated because she is not respected and listened to.

You should discuss with your husband before replying or giving any feedback to your mother-in-law. This shows your respect and goodwill when your mother-in-law wants to discuss something.

2. That's your child, you know what to do.

Your mother-in-law will often want to give you her opinion on how to raise your children. But you should not let this become the end of a conversation that will leave both of you stressed. You may agree or disagree with what your mother-in-law says, but first listen and consider. You should also express your views on raising children in a gentler way.

3. Mom, leave it there, I can do it myself.

You don’t need your mother-in-law’s help, but you shouldn’t make her feel like she’s “useless” to you. You should also accept that there are many things that you can’t do perfectly.

For example, if your mother-in-law wants to cook a dish for your children or grandchildren but does not follow your recipe or taste, you should first thank her for her kindness and concern. Then, you can prepare the ingredients and cook the dish with your mother-in-law instead of immediately dismissing her offer to help with an attitude of distrust.

4. I'm too busy to visit you.

Maybe you are too busy with work to arrange a visit to your mother-in-law immediately when you hear that she is sick. In this case, it is better not to say that. Because what your mother-in-law hears is that she is not important enough for you to spend time with her. Instead of emphasizing how busy you are, you can choose to say it in a different way so that your intention is interpreted in a more positive way.

You can say: “I really want to visit you but I can’t right away”, or you should set a specific date to visit your mother-in-law. You should avoid giving reasons and emphasize your intention to visit your mother-in-law. This will also make the conversation between the two of you closer.

5. Why did you come without telling me?

Occasionally, you should also accept your mother-in-law’s unexpected visits. You may feel inactive, or feel disrespected when your mother-in-law comes without prior notice. However, you should avoid immediately saying things that make your mother-in-law feel unwelcome and unwelcome. Instead of “blaming” your mother-in-law, you should be more concerned about her longing to visit her children and grandchildren.

6. My mother taught me to do it this way, not that way.

Your mother taught you many things in life, but keep those experiences as your own “handbook”. You should definitely not use that “handbook” to compare or clearly distinguish right from wrong with what your mother-in-law does and teaches you. First, listen to what your mother-in-law says. Then, you can filter out what you find suitable for you.