Three principles of successful parenting by Dr. Le Tham Duong

Dr. Le Tham Duong is the Head of the Finance Department, Banking University of Ho Chi Minh City. He is a regular guest at many national and regional forums, many prestigious television programs... In particular, Dr. Le Tham Duong is famous on social networks for his "stormy" lectures.

Recently, Dr. Le Tham Duong shared about the principles of raising children in his book. With the author's permission, we would like to quote his article below:

"With children in general, we must always respect them. When they grow up, we must pay even more attention to this. When your child is grown up and can command others, it is impolite for you to still use the position of a patriarchal father in the traditional Eastern style to command your child.

Raising children is always difficult. I have three principles that I always keep in mind when raising my children.

First, always remember the saying: 'Parents give birth to children, God gives them character'. Second, focus on work, praise to the utmost, and reward what is done. Third, absolutely do not hit your children.

There are many ways and approaches to education in general, and to educating children in particular, but in the end, the best way is to… not educate at all. Be a role model for your children. Simple but not simple at all. The problem lies in the 'role model'.

Both of my children (the eldest is a girl, the second is a boy) are very independent. When I told my eldest child about studying abroad, he told me: 'If I need to, I will find a scholarship to study abroad myself. I will definitely not use your money!'. Many people reading this may think he is crazy, but when I heard him say that, I was very happy.

I am glad that my child has the will. I believe that in a learning environment, the teacher is extremely important but the decision is still up to the subject. Thinking so, plus respecting my child and above all believing and understanding him, I supported him not to study abroad at that time.

Up to now, I still think my son's decision was right. His work, personal life, and outlook on life are all perfect now.

Dr. Le Tham Duong.

My second child also makes my parents feel very secure. Recently, a disciple told me: 'I find it strange, our child is clearly from a rich family but dresses, spends money frugally, and is modest'. Always by my child's side, understanding my child, when he said that, I had more confidence in my child.

When I had just graduated from university, my father and I decided to go to Vung Tau together. At that time, I had two choices: one was to study for a master’s degree in Singapore, the other was to join the army.

Father and son had a frank discussion about the pros and cons of studying for a master's degree in Singapore and joining the army.

When talking about the advantages of joining the army, I told my nephew this: Joining the army is like going to a school that teaches people how to be human, and it doesn’t cost tuition. Children have to pay to go to military summer camp. That’s not to mention the duty to the country. If it’s a duty, it must be done. Once it’s done, you can live and work peacefully, with yourself and no one else.

After graduating from university, I had a professional background. After returning from the army, I had a background as a person who had been trained in the military environment.

At this time, working or studying for a master's or doctorate degree are all good and easy. At that time, if you want to contribute and dedicate more, it will be even easier.

I just told him that, the decision to join the army was his. At that time, his mother was not happy but now she admits that he was right. After being discharged from the army, he took the initiative to find a job, with a starting salary of 7,000,000 VND/month. That was his decision.

Actually, if you need, I can get you many good places (according to the criteria of many people today), or I can set up a business for you to run if you want.

At the age of 25, I think your decision is reasonable. Many 40-year-old men are still starting out and still lacking many things, so you still need to equip yourself with many things. I only advise you: On weekdays, when you come home from work tired, you have to sleep, but on Saturdays and Sundays you have to study, and especially during this period, don't think about drinking.

When you are 30-35 years old, successful, you do not drink, your father still advises you to drink. But now is the accumulation stage. At each stage, you do the right tasks for that stage. I only advise my children like that, but how can I force them to do the same?

I do what I think is right. That's just my perception and frame of reference.

Up to now, I am proud of my children. But I have to admit that their correct decisions (which are in line with the development trend of modern society, not contrary to morality, not against the law, etc.) all come from what they have learned and been taught since childhood.

Later in life, children learn more from others than from their parents and grandparents, but the core values ​​taught from a young age are undeniable.

Life is unpredictable, but I always believe that my children will never do anything wrong or live a bad life.