When are you getting married?

Tet is an occasion for grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles to mentally abuse their children with the eternal question: When will you get married? This question reminds me of the business department of my company running the year-end target. It is funny that getting married and having children, in the opinion of many people, is simply a target that people must achieve in order to… well, for what?

Perhaps, people have to get married to be considered normal. Because a woman over 25, almost 30, who has not been in love, has a husband or children, is definitely single. And being single means there is a problem. And perhaps, people have to get married to be considered filial to their parents. And perhaps, people have to get married to be considered responsible.

My friend got married right after graduating from college because he accidentally got his girlfriend pregnant. Up to now, the couple has two daughters and filed for divorce at least 10 times. The reasons come from both sides. The wife just finished school and stayed home to give birth, did not go to work, so she was "used" to staying home and waiting for her husband to bring money home. Later, when the children grew up, despite her husband's efforts to encourage and advise her, she still insisted on staying home to be a housewife and let her husband shoulder the entire family's finances. Frustrated because he could not find a common voice with his wife, the husband quickly found joy in extramarital relationships with young, beautiful and brave girls he met in society. The two argued, separated, filed for divorce and even put up for sale the house they were living in. But in the end, they still did not dare to break the shell of their marriage just because they wanted to be "normal" parents. For them, the reason to maintain that marriage was because of their responsibility to their children. child

But is that really the way a responsible person behaves? I don't think so.

A truly responsible person will always think about the consequences before making a decision. A responsible person does not get his girlfriend pregnant and then agree to marry her, but uses birth control if he knows the relationship is not ready to go further. A responsible person does not have an affair but still provides for his wife and children, but is someone who dares to make one and only one choice. A responsible person does not maintain a loveless marriage for the sake of the children, but is brave enough to divorce so that the children do not have to live in a lie. A responsible person does not use reason to trample on emotions, but is someone who dares to live truthfully and accept himself in all his dark and ugly corners.

Don’t use responsibility as an excuse for any action or choice, because that would be an extremely irresponsible excuse. Do something when you really want to do it, when you feel the motivation for that action is within yourself and not somewhere else. Only then will you not have to say “if only” or blame others when the result is not as expected. If you don’t want to get married, stay single or love until you feel ready. It is never too early or too late to get married, or divorced, or anything else in life. It is very possible that one day, you will receive an invitation to my wedding when you are 80 years old, why not when we still have a lifetime?