Boomerang or Arrow: What Kind of Parent Are You?

The world is divided into: rich dads - poor dads, Tiger moms, Bear moms, Japanese moms, Korean moms, and all kinds of moms... but in my simple thinking, all parents in the world can be divided into two groups: Boomerang parents (borrowed from the name of a weapon thrown by Australian Aborigines that flies to the target and then returns to the thrower) and Arrow parents, not based on economic conditions or education, but based on what you want your child to become.

Boomerang image of Australian Aboriginal people. Photo: Internet

If you are a Boomerang parent, it does not mean that you are raising your children in the Australian style, but that your education is making your children become boomerangs like the Australian Aborigines. That is, no matter how much you spend your youth, money and wealth, time and effort to "launch" your children into life, no matter how hard you try, to Europe or America, the children will still return to the same starting point: the protective arms of their parents and bring back nothing but disappointment - even a collapse of trust for their parents. Something that many people have encountered and are experiencing.

A friend of mine, after spending a couple of billions to send her son to study abroad, is a typical example of Boomerang parents. When the 22-year-old boy returned, the only difference was that he had transformed from a Rich Kid to a real Big Kid. He still stayed up all night and slept during the day, played games all week, and couldn't be patient enough to do anything other than wait for his mother to cook and call him down to eat. For a whole year after returning home, this "great expectation" still didn't consider leaving home and doing a job to make a living. Some people said the job paid little, some said it wasn't up to his level, some said it was too much...so he only did the most suitable thing, which was staying at home: eating and sleeping.

Unable to laugh, unable to cry, my friend did not know how to deal with the boomerang called “my child”, wrapped in pants worth tens of millions, shirts worth hundreds of dollars, and the value of contribution to society is still the wrong answer in all calculations. Loving children more than loving oneself, loving children more than loving oneself... often shows the way for children to quickly move towards an attitude of ingratitude - indifference and living a life of waste even when they are young.

Other people's children and our children. Illustration: Internet

I think the above story is inevitable when the average living needs only need 1 dong, the child has not complained about lack, the parents have already provided 2 dong because they are afraid that the child will be in need. And gradually, sooner or later the child naturally demands to have 3 dong simply because he is the child of his parents, and for no other reason. When the child does not need to work hard to study, because before taking the exam, the parents have already prepared the entrance, when he grows up, he does not need to worry about working because the parents have already prepared a chair for him to sit on... and eagerly live the life of the child. Even playing the role of grandparents and parents of the child if the child has grown up but is not yet mature.

Arrow parents choose differently. They also work hard to raise their children throughout their youth like a bow stretched to shoot an arrow quickly forward - to the future. The shot arrow can never come back, and the "arrow" children are the same, rarely bothering their parents, living with more self-respect and responsibility than the boomerang generation. Simply because arrow parents are always sincere with their children, making them clearly aware of the family's real circumstances and conditions, helping their children build a "bull's eye" - a vision of their future life based on their own abilities, and enthusiastically cheering for their children's efforts rather than forcing them.

They mastered the most primitive skill of all animals: planning and organizing life, and preparing their children for an independent life when they grew up. They also stubbornly overcame themselves, overcame natural emotions to cut off all opportunities - the seeds of dependence; never used their own lives as a backup plan for their children's future. They clearly understood the limitedness of time, and the vital need for self-reliance. They clearly drew a line between love and educational responsibility; so that the "arrow" children could not easily find a point of extra support, forced to live their lives in the best, most effortful, and most worth-living way.

Play and learn with your child. Photo: Hai Vuong

“Just enough love” is always more lasting than “unconditional love.”

Once I asked my dad: "Dad, is our family rich?". He replied: "Yes, I am, but you are not." I asked him again: "Do you have any expectations of me?". He said: "No, I don't have any expectations, you just need to live a decent life." I playfully asked back: "What if I don't live a decent life?". "It's okay, I will have to take responsibility for my own life for my lack of kindness. It's my life, you don't have to live and suffer for me, so don't worry." After that sentence, I suddenly woke up from a decade of sleeping and daydreaming about my dad's future protection; and I've been awake until now.

Boomerang or arrow? Choose boldly for a restful old age.