Letter from a young father from Nghe An teaching his son to be mature and kind

Dr. Tran Quoc Khanh was born and raised in Thanh Chuong District (Nghe An). After graduating from Hanoi Medical University, he continued to study for 3 years as a resident physician specializing in surgery. In 2009, he transferred to the Spinal Surgery Department - Viet Duc Friendship Hospital and has been working there until now.

On his personal Facebook, each post about public health by Dr. Khanh often receives thousands of likes, hundreds of comments, shares...

Recently, he had a touching letter to his son, receiving sympathy from many people. Vietnamnet would like to introduce an excerpt of this letter.

When I received this picture from your mother, my feelings were hard to describe, my son. I was filled with joy and happiness, but I also thought about the responsibility of raising you to be a good person.

I decided to sit down and write these lines, to send to you and to remind myself, because these are also the things I am aiming for in life to perfect myself, more broadly, it is my ideal life.

With beliefs and religions

Every person, community or nation has their own beliefs, so which religious belief is the most correct? Those are the beliefs and faiths that help you become better, love life and love people more, my son. Pursue that.

Each religion has its own characteristics, but in general, there is only one truth and all of them are directed towards goodness, love, and charity. If someone uses religious beliefs to take advantage of people's trust and your trust to serve their own interests, you need to be sober in your judgment, my son!

About the teachers

Books are the number one teacher, my son. An excellent life can only be summarized in a few books, a few sentences. You should acquire knowledge and learn how to limit mistakes and failures through lessons from others in books. Don't spend your whole life trying to get it right - wrong and then do it again, that is a very regrettable thing.

With family

Grandparents and parents are unique, no one can replace them, always carry gratitude and respect in your heart.

With your wife and children, always care, love and respect each other. Science has studied the reasons why families break up, the results show that divorce is mainly due to lack of care and respect for each other in the relationship between husband and wife.

About life perspective

Life has the following things that are easy: It's easy to receive but very difficult to give, it's easy to think badly of others but difficult to give trust, it's easy to extinguish other people's dreams but very difficult to inspire them with hope...

I listened to my father's advice: live to give, think about others too, miracles will happen.

If someone takes advantage of your kindness, hurts you or betrays you, learn to forgive. Because it may be thanks to them that you learn tolerance.

Criticizing someone is something people often choose, you should rise above that judgment and act generously and forgivingly, that is what makes me proud of you.

Life is always turbulent and changing every day. So, always be alert to avoid falling asleep in the "safe zone" - where you feel secure and safe because of the stability of what is available. Go out, engage and collide, to nurture and realize your dreams. My little son, choose to live, not to exist, because to live is to give, to leave a mark.

My father is a doctor and surgeon, so every day he examines, operates on, and faces many people, many situations, and even pressures. In addition, the development of technology has brought many streams of information, unlike when my father was your age, when he only had books and radio or listened to stories from his grandparents. However, my father still chooses to read books in his free time, chooses to follow only certain information channels, and interacts with kind people.

I don't look down on anyone, but I have the right to choose who I want to meet and what information I want to receive. I care about beautiful things, humanitarian work, touching and inspiring stories... Life is stressful every day, I don't want to receive more petty things or scandals in life. That doesn't mean I'm indifferent to my people, society, country... The best response to love for my homeland is to do my best at my job and be kind to everyone.

Although life passes quickly, there are two things that I still want you to always carry with you and generously send to the people you meet on your journey, which are smiles and words of thanks. A smile is the friendliest greeting and is also the closest bridge that helps you connect with everyone. And you should always be grateful for everything you receive.

And whenever you make a mistake, be brave enough to stand up and apologize. Believing that you are right and that you are the only one right is a sign of narrow-mindedness and stubbornness. That mistake will forever control you. Admitting your mistakes will make others respect you more and help develop your self-esteem.

Do you know what I want you to avoid and limit mentioning the most? It is your ego, my son. Because that is the most “selfish” word. It represents all your expectations and the wishes you receive from everyone. Instead of always thinking about yourself and receiving, think about everyone and give, my son! Giving is forever and that is also the greatest receiving in life.

About finance

Parents will not leave their children money, that is for sure. Parents will only leave behind knowledge, wisdom and more importantly, love. Parents will nurture that with their children from the first minute they are born and from the smallest things.

Money and finance are very important, without it, your life will be very difficult. So how can you control your financial career? As long as you do not break the law, you can do any job, I will always respect you. And to be successful, there is only one way: study hard and constantly strive to become an expert in that profession.

One more small detail I want to share is that you should try to create at least three sources of income for yourself, passive income is better. Never let your life depend entirely on one source of income, or on any one person or organization.

And the important thing is: Money is not everything. Don't keep money all to yourself and always remind yourself that you will never be a slave to money, son!

With health

Even though your father and mother are both doctors, I want you to know that your health and body are in your hands. Your lifestyle will determine your health. Always keep your body active, keep your mind sharp by reading every day. Learn about nutrition to know whether what you put in your body is good or bad for your health. No matter the era, cigarettes and alcohol only bring illness and sadness, you should stay away from them like you stay away from drugs.

Everyone has their own way and you should build your own principles of life balance, because it is the key to a healthy and sustainable life.

Maturity and responsibility

Dad does not interfere in your life and decisions, he only gives you advice. After the age of 18, you are fully responsible for all your decisions. When I was 18 and packed my backpack to go to medical school, my grandfather sent me a letter with the advice: "You should cultivate yourself to become a good person, don't let society teach you."

Keep observing, learning and reading to improve yourself. No one is perfect, but we will keep improving ourselves to get closer to that.

About love

The former Prime Minister of Taiwan once said, “There is no such thing as eternal love in this world. Love is just a temporary feeling. You should not cling to the illusion of love forever, nor should you be too sad because of love.” I agree with this opinion, my son.

However, I always pray that you will find a life partner that you love. That is the blessing of your life.

Furthermore, I also want you to understand that everyone has rights that no one can take away. Those are the right to be respected, the right to be trusted, the right to know the truth and the right to privacy. Of these, privacy is the most important and inviolable right. No matter how much you love your partner, you still need to respect his or her privacy and you have the right to ask for it. Avoid becoming a narrow-minded and selfish man.

How to make children grow up?

Life will be full of joy and meaning if you always keep an optimistic outlook on everything, a forward-looking mindset, nurture your dreams and be willing to “go against the herd”. Because sometimes, the opinion of the crowd is not necessarily the truth, my son.

Please think calmly and make your own judgments. If you want your decisions to have a high rate of accuracy, the only way is to constantly learn, read books and meet successful people.

After a certain period of time, sit down and look back at yourself. By doing so, you will realize your shortcomings and have the opportunity to improve. That will help you become better over time.

No one is perfect, but society becomes more civilized and worth living when each individual knows how to look back, improve themselves and progress.

This year, I am 36 years old and normally only half way through my life, so what I write here is exactly what I am pursuing and striving for.

As a promise, father, you and your little family will do these things together, my dear son!

Hanoi, summer 2019

My very….handsome father

Tran Quoc Khanh