What should parents do when they discover their child has been sexually abused?

According to statistics, every 8 hours a child in Vietnam is sexually abused. The consequences of abuse will greatly affect the child's psychology later on.

Below is advice from Parents Protect (UK) for parents and relatives whose children have been sexually abused.

Sexual abuse is a lifelong psychological and physical obsession for children. Illustration.

Most abused children keep it a secret.

Three-quarters of sexually abused children do not tell anyone, and many of them keep it a secret until their death. Sexual abusers are likely to be people we know, or even people we love.

Eight out of 10 children who are sexually abused know who their perpetrator is. It is a family member, a friend, a neighbor, a babysitter – many in high positions in society. The closer the relationship between the perpetrator and the victim, the less likely they are to talk about it.

Children often try to show us what is worrying them rather than telling us. So pay attention to these signs. However, they may also give us vague hints that something is wrong. The information they give may not be clear, or they may not have the vocabulary to explain what is happening to them. How adults respond to them is extremely important.

Respond to children promptly with love

If you find your child trying to tell you his situation, respond quickly with all your love and care.

Put all your trust in the child

When a child trusts you enough to tell you about sexual abuse, remember that it is very rare for them to lie. While it is hard to believe that someone you trust would abuse a child, the likelihood of a child falsely reporting sexual behavior by an adult is very low.

There is a lot of pressure on children to keep sexual abuse a secret. It takes a lot of courage for them to tell you. It is also common for them to deny or retract what they have said. Sometimes their assessment of the incident may change over time. This is normal and should not be a reason to stop believing your child.

Always support children

You must show your children that you always support them. Never ignore what they say.

Take it easy

If your child tells you about sexual abuse, don’t get angry. Stay calm and firm. If you get angry, your child may think you are going to punish them – you may inadvertently react in exactly the way the abuser wants you to.

Always take care of children

Always let your child know that you love them and that they have done nothing wrong. Tell them that all the time. They want to know that adults believe them and will do anything to protect them. Make sure they know that it is okay for them to tell you and that you are glad they came to you.

Face the reality

When the matter is known, adults must face it and protect the child at all costs.

Do everything possible to keep children away from other dangers.

Please help

Contact a professional to help you stay safe and heal. You may also need the help of the police to protect your child and bring the perpetrator to justice.

Don't despair and give up.

Children can recover from sexual abuse. It is painful to learn that someone you love has been abused, but recovery is possible.

Children can recover from sexual abuse. It is painful to learn that someone you love has been abused, but recovery is possible.

What to do when you suspect someone is abusing your child?

Recommendations were made to consider quietly gathering evidence about the incident before making the information public.

Once the case is exposed, the perpetrator will likely try to cover up and conceal the crime. They may destroy any evidence or traces that may be present. At that point, proving the crime will be much more difficult.

When the incident has not yet been exposed, the perpetrator may feel secure and lose his guard. This is the right time for you to take your child to get a wound test, search for traces of sperm, fingerprints, hair, and the perpetrator's hair on the child's body, clothes, and belongings. A psychological assessment of the child should also be conducted. You can also secretly find a way to get the security camera data before the perpetrator has time to delete it, or secretly record the perpetrator's speech. Secretly following the person you think is the perpetrator can help you collect a lot of useful information for future accusations.

All of these actions will help the case move forward faster, rather than relying solely on the child's words and psychological expressions.

According to Khoeplus