Even though I love my husband very much, I can't forget my feelings for my ex.

I love my husband very much, but every time we are intimate, my heart belongs to the old man. I wish my husband could love as intensely and passionately as before.

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I have been married for two years now, although my married life has not been without ups and downs, I still cannot stop thinking about another man. It is not because I do not love my husband. I do love him and I still sleep with him every night, still “pamper” him. But really, only my ex is the one who makes me truly satisfied in bed.

Four years ago, I fell in love with a man who was two years older than me. He was from another region but came here to study at university. We fell in love at first sight. Because it was my first love, I loved him with all my heart, without any selfish motives, calculations or reservations. I also gave myself to him. He knew how to pamper me and was very skillful and gentle in "sex".

After several times of secretly loving him, I became “addicted” to being close to him. I liked his gentle foreplay and the times of love that made me truly ecstatic. But then, in the second year of our relationship, when I brought him home to meet my family, my parents firmly objected because his house was too far away. I was the only daughter in the family, so my parents wanted me to marry someone nearby.

At first, we patiently persuaded our parents. But after a year of persuading our families, we gradually felt tired and decided to say goodbye with regret. After breaking up with my first love, a long time later I met him - my current husband. Although in terms of appearance, he cannot be compared to my ex-boyfriend, he is a family man, very thoughtful and responsible. Maybe that is why I love him.

My love now is completely different from a few years ago. And after more than a year of getting to know each other and living together for two years in marriage, I began to realize that everything I thought about my husband before was not everything. This, I also never dared to confess to my husband.

But actually, when we were already husband and wife, every time I was intimate with my husband, I didn't know why I was not satisfied. Even though I no longer loved my ex, I didn't know why every time I had sex with my husband, I started to compare. Then I kept remembering the moments when I was with my ex-boyfriend. And every time like that, I felt that our sex life became extremely boring.

Many times, wanting to find a sense of harmony with my husband, I secretly guided him to follow the "lovemaking style" that my ex-wife had used before, hoping to regain the feeling in the bedroom. But every time, my husband failed. Sometimes he even got angry with me.

Sometimes I lie alone and think. I love my husband very much, but whenever we are intimate, my heart seems to belong to my ex-boyfriend. I keep wishing my husband could love me as intensely and passionately as before. Sometimes, when I am not satisfied, I even have a guilty thought: to be in the arms of my ex-boyfriend again.

I am really scared because of the conflict in my heart. I myself feel miserable and hateful. I never thought of breaking up with my husband to get back with my ex. But I also dare not share my true thoughts with my husband. What should I do?

According to Phununews