Don't urge your children to "study", but encourage them to develop their individuality.

It's strange that parents often talk about the importance of this but their actions often do the opposite.

Self-control, ego and decisiveness are indispensable qualities of future leaders. In fact, in interviews of multinational companies or in the voting and deciding of year-end bonuses of companies, the criteria of "whether an individual is self-controlled or not" and "whether he or she is able to start from zero or not" are highly valued.

On the other hand, until recently, education in Hong Kong still believed that "having an ego or not" was the most important factor in determining our lasting success in our careers.

Indeed, top leaders are self-reliant and egotistical people who set their own next goals, make their own decisions, and continually move forward.

Moderately successful people only do the work assigned by their superiors, always in a state of passively receiving work. They themselves cannot create interesting work for themselves, cannot contribute to society in their own way. Therefore, they cannot reach higher success as top leaders.

Top performers are not swayed by the opinions of those around them. They are able to make the right decisions based on their own standards in any given situation.They do not feel insecure when their opinions differ from those around them, are willing to take risks and are full of confidence when making decisions.They are people with so-called "self-awareness", meaning they have an accurate perception of themselves, clearly understand what is important to them and what they want to do.

In contrast to them are people who always stop at a moderate level of success or even fail in society, people who always follow the decisions of their superiors, all their decisions are based on considering whether their opinions are similar to those of the people around them.

They are overly cooperative, so they don’t cause trouble to those around them. None of them have an ego, always staying in a corner of the company for the rest of their careers.

For those who have achieved success at a young age at the world's leading multinational companies but still left those companies, moved on to establish their own NPOs or start their own businesses and quickly became pioneers in the fields they have just explored, "family education is what always urges them to ask themselves: what is important to them and what do they like".

At school and at home, they were never urged to "study", but from a young age, through various activities, they were always urged to "think about what they like and what they want to do". This formed their habit of self-reflection.

Likewise, the best children know what is important to them, what they want to do, are not swayed by the opinions of others, and can pave their own path independently and autonomously. These are children with an ego, an indispensable element to become a leader.

Specific educational methods help children form their ego:

Let children make their own decisions

- Let children be free to learn about themselves.

- Help children set their own goals

- Respect children's opinions on matters related to their future orientation.

Don't help too much, just support the child.

- No matter how much adults respect children's autonomy, they still have to advise them fully.

- Point out the options and let the child make the final choice.

- Don't overprotect your children during their upbringing.

Nurturing the ego and personality in each individual

- Respect children's personality

- Instead of teaching your children "don't bother people", teach them "do things that are useful for others"

- Makes children feel confident even when they succeed with "small things"

*Excerpt from the book "Ordinary Mothers Teach Outstanding Children", author Moogwi Kim, Pumpkin